Advice on contemplation

[Raptorsin7]

Hi, would it be unwise to use contemplation  as a way to progress through different spiral stage, like advancing through orange or advancing from orange to yellow. Additionally, I had a period of my life where I was very depressed and suffered from very low self esteem, and then I kind of hit a low point that prompted to try many self help techniques over a short period of time, like "fake it until you make it", cold showers, and intense exercise. This transition from depression to non-depression led to feel the best I had ever felt in my life for about 6 months post depression, whereby I got my grades back up and sort of recovered many superficial/material marks of success that I lost due to depression. The issue is it has been a few years since that transition and I feel like in many ways i'm back to a level of consciousness that I was at before the depression, but not quite where I was at in the period immediately following the depression. I've thought for a while about how I can practice techniques that could get me back to what felt like an elevated level of consciousness, and I've recently begun the practice of contemplation. So basically, I'm wondering of using contemplation as a way to understand exactly what I did during my depression that led me to feel much better than I have ever felt Is a misguided approach; part of me feels like a drug addict trying to get back to a previous high, but at the same time I feel like that period of my life was incredibly valuable and if I could get my consciousness back to that level it would only serve to enhance my self-actualization journey. Sorry for the ramble, I've never really expressed this with anyone and I'm curious to what people on this forum think of my dilemma. Thanks.

[Skanzi]

I'm not sure if I can agree with you on the statement that you have "lost your higher level of consciousness". Don't deny your evolution. It is very much so that we lose our stretches in which we felt strong, powerful, resilient, happy and such... Life goes in phases and just because you lost a period in which you felt really great, doesn't mean you haven't progressed on your spiritual path. You are correct when you say that you feel like a drug addict trying to get back a previous high; that's my feeling too about the situation. It's not to say that that period of your life WASN'T valuable, but you gotta understand that in order to progress in your path to Truth, you must let go of your past and all the ups and downs you had experienced in them. It doesn't mean that you can't use your past as reference and guidelines for your current and future life, but it is important to let go of the attachment of it.

Consider that as long as you're willing and attempting to awaken, so to say, you are evolving. You may get another "high" along the way, but often this comes seemingly out of the blue and often there isn't really a go-to method to either create it or to be able to hold onto it. And if there would be a  method to create it, you are still not free because you are still attached to this high, which you inevitably will lose again. That's the point: Every high will eventually be followed by a low. The only true freedom is to go beyond the highs and the lows and connect with something that does not attach to both. That which goes beyond is called the witness. What you will be left with is peace. Peace as an attitude, as a relationship with your experience.

As far as contemplation is concerned: Sure, go ahead. There is absolutely nothing wrong with contemplating and asking questions. But don't do it for the sake of trying to regain a certain feeling, but do it for the sake of truly understanding what is truly the case. Because you can contemplate on "what got you to feel that way", and you may find certain reasons, and your insight smay even prove to be rather valuable as far as understanding yourself is concerned. But you won't awaken if all you do is contemplate on something just so you can get a good feeling out of it. Contemplation can only truly be valuable if it is done out of a pure thirst to understand, just for the sake of understanding itself.

Edited August 24, 2019 by Skanzi

[Nahm]

18 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Hi, would it be unwise to use contemplation  as a way to progress through different spiral stage, like advancing through orange or advancing from orange to yellow. Additionally, I had a period of my life where I was very depressed and suffered from very low self esteem, and then I kind of hit a low point that prompted to try many self help techniques over a short period of time, like "fake it until you make it", cold showers, and intense exercise. This transition from depression to non-depression led to feel the best I had ever felt in my life for about 6 months post depression, whereby I got my grades back up and sort of recovered many superficial/material marks of success that I lost due to depression. The issue is it has been a few years since that transition and I feel like in many ways i'm back to a level of consciousness that I was at before the depression, but not quite where I was at in the period immediately following the depression. I've thought for a while about how I can practice techniques that could get me back to what felt like an elevated level of consciousness, and I've recently begun the practice of contemplation. So basically, I'm wondering of using contemplation as a way to understand exactly what I did during my depression that led me to feel much better than I have ever felt Is a misguided approach; part of me feels like a drug addict trying to get back to a previous high, but at the same time I feel like that period of my life was incredibly valuable and if I could get my consciousness back to that level it would only serve to enhance my self-actualization journey. Sorry for the ramble, I've never really expressed this with anyone and I'm curious to what people on this forum think of my dilemma. Thanks.

Yes keep contemplating. 

Negative psychology is created in avoidance of sensations, defensively, protectively. The word negative is used, literally, defining that, it does not feel good, is not wanted.

The sensations are what was determined to be what “is not wanted”.

This can be countered by repetition of positive psychology. Relatively speaking, this is the thing to do. However, positive psychology is efforting, and the efforting is not sustainable, and is sooner or later intuitively recognized to be self limiting, and ultimately unsatisfying.

Thus there is the return to sensation, to the guidance that it always was. In this journey, one faces the fact that they avoided the sensations to begin with. Having done so, many misunderstandings of self and world were created and repeated. 

To realize sensation was always Truth, was always guiding, is to realize, essentially, all the thinking was wrong. 

The journey of negative thinking, to positive thinking, sooner or later becomes the adventure into one’s self, the journey into no thinking, no mind. The art of letting go, the divinity of surrender. 

The “drug addict trying to get back to a previous high” brings about the idea of faith. The attempts to return to the heightened states are ultimately tiring and fleeting. In Truth there is no state which could feel better than you, free of attachment to states. 

That period of your life was, imo, incredibly valuable. You could say it is a sort of right of passage, a ticket into this place. The very means of realization that you, as is, and life, as is, is the greatest high. What is negative & positive is dualistic, twoness. You however, are The One. There are many impulses to avoid surrender. You are the sneakiest human being which has ever walked this earth. Do not attempt to outsmart yourself, you will only prolong the suffering and delay the purification. See what sensation is, see what fear is. You will be very glad. 

Be careful not to utilize contemplation os more thinking. 

Basic meditation, letting thoughts go, detaching, might be more intune with where you’re at in getting intune.

The wonderful feelings that arise in doing so will far outweigh the previous “highs” you mentioned. 

That vibration is great for contemplation. To “extract” wisdom from source, it is ideal, necessary even, to be in vibrational proximity of source. 

[d0ornokey]

When I was having trouble with healing my therapist once told me 

Dont worry, 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 2 steps forward, 2 steps back, 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. That is the way of the master. 

Edited August 24, 2019 by d0ornokey

[Raptorsin7]

@Skanzi @Nahm @d0ornokeyThank you all so much for your thoughtful replies, this is my first post on the forum and the fact that this is the level of detail that I received on the first re few replies is pretty astonishing. A quick follow up, since the "high" point of my life I've been meditating diligently for ~ 2 years, and for the past few months I've begun with self inquiry meditations, so in many ways I agree with the sentiments I am more evolved now than I was in the past, especially considering the fact that never in my life before this had I really taken spirituality or enlightenment seriously. I have no desire to go back to a point in my life whereby I didn't understand the potential of a practice of meditation/enlightenment, but at the same time its difficult more to me to accept that in the meantime I am not enlightened and there exists a version my self that is more confident, has higher esteem, etc that I don't have access too. My plan is to continue with the contemplation about this "higher" state, and I will also contemplate on why I feel I need/want this state in the first place.

Also, given that I don't really have anyone to discuss these things with in my life I feel like i'm going to be asking a lot of questions on this forum, but at the same time I don't really know what the limits are for clarification/insight. I feel like I could ask for 1000 clarification points on this thread alone but that seems very selfish and isn't fair to other people here. Any insight on how to balance the desire to seek thorough advice, without sucking up too many resources would be appreciated.

Thanks a lot guys.

 

[Nahm]

On 8/24/2019 at 4:15 PM, Raptorsin7 said:

I feel like I could ask for 1000 clarification points on this thread alone but that seems very selfish and isn't fair to other people here. Any insight on how to balance the desire to seek thorough advice, without sucking up too many resources would be appreciated.

Thanks a lot guys.

 

Though the theme of most answers will be ‘do the work’, at the same time, so to speak - the one who asks the most questions wins. 

Also, there’s no “sucking up resources”. Though this paradigm is rampant in the world, it’s not grounded in truth. For every one who has a question, there is one who likes to answer. Any two people should be aware, appreciative, that without both, there’s no experience at all. 

[d0ornokey]

On 8/26/2019 at 0:55 PM, Nahm said:

Though the theme of most answers will be ‘do the work’, at the same time, so to speak - the one who asks the most questions wins

Can you elaborate on this? 

[Leo Gura]

If you are prone to depression then contemplation could be problematic in the sense that you will get lost inside your own mind. You have to careful here to balance between theory & practice. For a depressed person going to the gym might be more effective to change one's mood than contemplating on the couch about one's mood.

But it the long run you should build yourself up to the point where you can contemplate things without it driving you deeper into depression. As you become more developed and conscious it will be easier for you to let go of being stuck in your own mind. Kriya yoga & meditation helps a lot with this.

If all you do is sit and think (without any yoga or meditation practice) you will end up getting lost in your own mind. And this will create various kinds of dysfunction.

So watch out! The mind can be a very dangerous thing. Then again, being mindless can be even more dangerous.

[Nahm]

17 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

Can you elaborate on this? 

Doing the practices is what fundamentally matters, so the overall theme typically is, and should be imo, ‘do the work’. Then there is asking questions. There are so many traps at all stages. Awakening / enlightenment experiences are so wonderful, that a trap is “I’m enlightened”, “I’m awakened”, in the sense “I’m done”. The one who recognizes these traps, in awareness of still having questions, and asks them, rather then writing off, and covering up, in this sense, wins. In terms of expansion and understanding, connections continue fusing, understanding deepens into meta understanding, etc. Then of course, there’s the trap of asking questions when one should be practicing. And again, that’s something someone could ask about. 

[Danioover9000]

   As long as you follow up the contemplation with whatever is occurring in your day it is fine. For example you contemplate what is an object, you bring to mind examples from direct experience then from past events all the while being present. In your case it's best to do this using a journey instead of purely using the mind as this can add more to your depression.

   Even better than contemplating in your situation is doing meditation/ Kriya yoga or activities that get you in touch with body awareness like yoga, chi Kong or martial arts. These practices help get you out of your head and into your body so that when you eventually exit out of depression you can then do some more contemplating.

   Hope you get better soon!

[zeroISinfinity]

@NahmVibrational proximity of the Source? 

Let and allow Love to Flow through You without resistance. Allowance and acceptance of What is. 

Love of attraction. 

Infinite goodness and love of the source. 

What is there to think/fear about? 

Sometimes I hate Source from removing me from Meditation to see this. ?

Edited August 29, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[joeyi99]

@Leo Gura What wrong with mindlessness?

[Raptorsin7]

Thanks a lot for the responses.