Is studying C.S. and Mathematics contradicts spirituality and consciousness?

[LucyKid]

Yo, I love mathematics and computer science. I love the concepts, I love what's possible, but I am not entirely sure about it. I do love writing code and creating application and I have some video games I want to create, but does it contradict my will to raise my consciousness and potentially be enlightened through hardself inquiry? (An hour a day every day, + 30 minutes of meditation, + mushrooms with changa sometimes)

I love what I study, sometimes I am totally absorbed with wonder and curiosity, especially about mathematics, but that feels like an orange stage thing to me, while I want to transcend to yellow and turquise (I feel that atm I am very green, with a lot of transitioned orange attributes such as self confidence, loving pleasure).

Kind of confused of all the information I had absorbed from leo lately. 

 

Edit: So basically, the question is, does it contradict? May it be my life purpose? I love it, but I also love psychology, I love therapy (helping people out), etc, I love so many things. I am still young, 19 years old, and just finished the first year of my college, is it something I need to worry at the moment? Feels like mistakes should be avoided as soon as possible. It doesn't feel like I am making a mistake though. 

Edited August 23, 2019 by LucyKid

[Girzo]

No, studying computer science doesn't oppose being conscious. Why would it?

You can use your technical skills towards any goal. You could create an app that helps the environment, a game that explains complex ideas like strange loops to people, a piece of software that helps scientists better organize all the data from the research, etc. Whatever it is you are interested in, you can find applications of math skills in that field.

BTW, doing spiritual practice for 1.5h a day and psychedelics from time to time is not hardcore, that's a bare minimum if you want to have a shot at this game 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Girzo

[LucyKid]

1 hour ago, Girzo said:

No, studying computer science doesn't oppose being conscious. Why would it?

You can use your technical skills towards any goal. You could create an app that helps the environment, a game that explains complex ideas like strange loops to people, a piece of software that helps scientists better organize all the data from the research, etc. Whatever it is you are interested in, you can find applications of math skills in that field.

BTW, doing spiritual practice for 1.5h a day and psychedelics from time to time is not hardcore, that's a bare minimum if you want to have a shot at this game 

That's exactly what I was thinking about, how could I create a stage green,yellow, turqoise game. My idea for a first game is rather orange, it's about a 2d map where you pick up certain substances and get different "Physical boosts" through different chemicals, with different music themes according to the drugs that were consumed lol, just a small project.

Thank you for solidifying my understanding lol, and also giving me some cool themes I could work on. 
Well, 1.5h a day is what I can afford. Saying "I have no time" is not an excuse, and in fact, I am meditating and doing self inquiry, but trying to involve it with my student life, Pretty hard. 

I wonder how math might be beneficial in my goals. LI love math, it's interesting, I'd like to see it's implications in the future

[Girzo]

To be clear, I think that practicing over 1 hour consistently is already great. But it's even to nicer to do some periods of 4 hours a day practice when time allows. Or taking a 10 day retreat.

[electroBeam]

@LucyKid its not the field or discipline that is high or low conscious, its the project with which you're using the skill in that is high or low conscious.

For example:

Doing a CS project to count the amount of trees burnt by the amazon for social awareness is high consciousness. Doing a CS project involving blockchain and getting money is low consciousness. 

Doing a law project to sue people cutting down trees in the amazonian rainforest is high consciousness, doing a law project for helping ban abortion is low consciousness. 

[LucyKid]

7 hours ago, Girzo said:

To be clear, I think that practicing over 1 hour consistently is already great. But it's even to nicer to do some periods of 4 hours a day practice when time allows. Or taking a 10 day retreat.

I had thought taking a retreat when I've got time. Is a thing you do something by yourself or with a shaman or a guide?
Because I'm from israel and I'm not sure where I can go to do this kind of work. 

Soon I'll finish my semester and I'll have plenty of time. 4 hours of meditation a day? sounds hardcore lol. My back aches from pain after 30 minutes, even though I can tolerate it I guess. 

 

[LucyKid]

1 hour ago, electroBeam said:

@LucyKid its not the field or discipline that is high or low conscious, its the project with which you're using the skill in that is high or low conscious.

For example:

Doing a CS project to count the amount of trees burnt by the amazon for social awareness is high consciousness. Doing a CS project involving blockchain and getting money is low consciousness. 

Doing a law project to sue people cutting down trees in the amazonian rainforest is high consciousness, doing a law project for helping ban abortion is low consciousness. 

That makes sense. I wonder how such a program can be done. Thanks for the ideas, I'll keep them in mind and thanks for the insights and decreasing my worries
I do actually want to create a program that makes people love nature more. That would be a green program, sounds cool. Perhaps an Indie Video Game with a really deep story and meaning. 

[bejapuskas]

@LucyKid  Maths is God studying itself using itself as a tool

[tenta]

No, but it does contradict other teachings

[ajasatya]

@LucyKid God is not a particular thing. It's everything. It's the whole creation. You can't contradict Truth because it's unfalsifiable.

Follow your passion. You're not supposed to ditch what you love unless you love hurting people. If you're a non-violent person, you're free to do anything.

[Martin123]

@LucyKid If I may chip in,

I found a post of yours about your abusive father, which by the way I am deeply sorry about, I know what it's like to grow up with a narcissistic abusive parent and it truly is no treat, and the courage required to heal from that is indeed great. It's a form of PTSD.

What I hear you saying is that you may be feeling like Maths and CS are holding you back. I can clarify your dilemma for you. You've gone through incredibly toxic masculine conditioning, judging from the situation you described in the post about your dad. When someone goes through something like this, it's like the feminine part of your nervous system (the creative, artistic, emotional and intuitive one) gets completely dominated by the unsafety and protection from the constant threat that was your family. Then you take interest in these really "masculine" and by that I mean highly analytical and problem-solving oriented activities. There is nothing wrong with them, but they are actually a form of coping-mechanism that keeps you safe from the PTSD within your nervous system.
Your feeling and intuition that it's somehow combating your spiritual interests, which in your case would most likely need to be a very feminine exploration, is actually correct. It's not even that you have to quit CS and Maths, it's that once you open up to the hurt inside, you will start losing interest, and it might become virtually impossible to continue for a period of time. So maybe I am just here to prepare you, that if that happens, that's okay. That's by design.

[bejapuskas]

@Martin123  Actually to be a smart mathematician, you need to be highly creative and counter-intuitive. You can do all the counting on computer these days  

[Martin123]

@bejapuskas Hey, good point, you're completely right, good left-right brain balance is helpful in all professions, but if the left brain is being used as a way of suppressing the right brain, then it's common that the ways in which the suppression is taking place need to take a little vacation from being there at all so the whole nervous system can reset into a more harmonious and balanced state.

The OP is clearly on his way to embracing unity, love, consciousness, emotional freedom and harmony. You can't use your right brain to get to your left brain, you have to put your right brain on pause and allow the feminine emotional principle weep and rage against a lifetime of suppression by the masculine. It's the same thing why people who are emotionally purging complain when people (classic scenario is men in this case) start trying to fix their problem instead of just listening and holding space.