Tinder update - Mother Nature is an asshole to women

[Odysseus]

@possibilities@possibilities 

You're ignorance is kind of annoying. You just make the claim that by using tinder, better looking people get more likes. Out of that you assume how attraction works. That's like I show you how the pizza I'll eat for lunch looks like and you show me the exact growth location of the tomatoes I used for the sauce. The correlation between these two is fucked up. Just like the correlation between tinder and attraction is fucked up. Espacially when we talk about nature. Therefore you claims are just your sauce including your biasis etc. But you're speaking about science, nature and objectivity. But probably I'm to dumb to understand the depth of the tinder project. Guys, take a moment to appreciate the depth of the tinder project, the theory of relativity of the incel community and friends 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Odysseus

[possibilities]

@Keyhole "but that doesn't equate to finding the right match" Yes, as I've already stipulated in previous comments.

Otherwise good valid points, there is a biological tradeoff associated with attractiveness here, perhaps socially with respect to either ostracism versus acceptance we can see something like an inverted u-shaped curve towards women relative to the average of the population being analysed, for example if there's 20 10's grouped together they're much more likely to be friends than 1 ten is going to be amongst 19 5's, especially if there's a male interest in the environment with limited supply.

Group dynamics completely change based on:

(1) sexual preferences
(2) ratio between attractiveness versus less attractiveness in a group or environment
(3) availability of sexual preferences (and unique features within that context from attractiveness right down to hair colour preference, age and intelligence)
(4) level of competition of those sexual preferences

In order to analyse these subjects well, we need to:

(1) analyse the patterns

(2) de-contextualise and re-contextualise through a hypothetical scenario 
- as opposed to re-analysing the group plainly in the context of the environment. 

(3) discover general underlying rules as a result of simulating the hypothetical scenario and comparing it with the real scenario

(4) apply those rules as a formula as a means of testing the understanding achieved

Most merely stay at step one, and so they find themselves in a continual biased loop in the context of the scenes they're presented with. This is why unless they train their capacity for abstraction, they won't ever find themselves beyond the present moment with respect to really understanding a situation and being able to cross-contextualise it.

This isn't something I've read in some book either, this is something I've abstracted in the moment right now in the last 10 minutes. It just shows you the value of learning how to abstract data, something that I recommend to others  .

Edited August 27, 2019 by possibilities

[Ibn Sina]

12 hours ago, possibilities said:

Please read my comments before trying to explain what my perspective must be, thanks. I’ve clearly stated it, you just might need to introspect on the comments more. 

Which woman would you choose? Perhaps once you’ve introspected enough over this question you’ll understand the underlying masculine/feminine (weakness vs strength and to that end followed by symmetry) dynamic for why you’re straight (if you are) in the first place.

You need to think properly about this stuff, beauty isn’t relative. Partly yes, but there’s a reason why I’m not attracted to cows or frogs. 

Youll judge me because it feels good to judge, but it only hurts your capacity to see reality. I actually perform experiments, you’re just speaking from whatever is in your head.

@Ibn Abbas many woman’s prospects are affected by their looks, from dating to employment to medical tests.

 

Of course I am not saying that beauty is relative. I didn't say that.
Of course I would choose the attractive women, the one on the below pic. ( So why are you asking those questions?)

But what I am disagreeing with you is your last sentence- "many woman’s prospects are affected by their looks, from dating to employment to medical tests"

And also your statement that - Nature is biased towards women because they have to be beautiful.

Nature is not biased towards the entire gender of men or the entire gender of women.

Yes, nature is biased but it is only biased to the 10% lucky individuals who are attractive (both men and women) and 10% unlucky individuals who are unattractive ( both men and women).

The difference between your opinion and mine is that you say nature is biased against women. This is blatantly false. Nature is biased towards individuals. 

Instead it can be said that it is we humans who are biased towards women, it is we who judge women harshly for their looks. So it is not nature but us who are biased towards women and make beauty a top priority for them.

Also you say that the prospect of women is affected by their looks. It's like saying the prospect of men is affected by his intelligence, his looks, his singing voice. Of course it is effected, not just for women. If you are a handsome man, then easily you can be a holly wood actor and be a millionaire. Of course things like looks, intelligence, money, power affect the life of people. So I can't see what you are saying.
But if you are saying that it is far worse to be an average looking women than to be an average looking man (since you are saying that for women looks affects them more) , then again I say it's false. An average looking women gets an average looking man, she doesn't get a low quality worse man, compared to what a man of the same attractiveness level would get. 

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Ibn Sina

[Key Elements]

I'm just going to say this straight up. I don't know how else to say it. It's so easy and convenient to just go up to your smartphone or computer and make a dating profile somewhere. And then, if you get a girl (or guy), it doesn't work. Something really bad happens, like a fight, or whatever. Both of you break up. You might say to yourself, "I've wasted my time and energy on this person." And then, you go ahead and repeat what you're doing--thinking that it will work this time. It goes in circles, and for some, it goes in circles for a lifetime. For example, they're old and married but their spouse cheats on them, or something happens that ends the relationship.

Instead of just getting up and following the crowd and going on Tinder or whatever site, why not sit down in a quiet place, clear your mind, and contemplate on what's really going on, and what do you really want out of life and in a relationship? Why rush into something and waste time on it? Why follow the crowd?

Ok, when I did this fun experiment of contemplating, this is what I came up with. I live in an area where there is a 50% divorce rate. So, any couple who gets married, had a 50% chance of divorce in their lifetime. Now, I looked up some other country and saw that the divorce rate is 18/1000. So, out of 1000 married couples, 18 of them get a divorce. That means, if I really wanted a great relationship, I don't just go there and pick anyone off the streets. I get to know ppl first, like those who are already married. I would ask myself, "why such a low divorce rate?" What's really going on here? Work on yourself first. Have a purpose. How is it that you're going to support your spouse and family if you start one? Have you ever thought in this way? Have you ever thought you will be old one day? And, plastic surgery won't help. It's your choice. You don't have to go by what I said. If you want someone in another country (which I do recommend going this route), it takes work.

[Gili Trawangan]

@Key Elements I'm quite curious now, which country has that incredibly low divorce rate? My money is on an Asian country, maybe Japan.

[Key Elements]

4 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Key Elements I'm quite curious now, which country has that incredibly low divorce rate? My money is on an Asian country, maybe Japan.

Hey, I don't have to spoil it for you and others. You have to do your homework, research, and improve yourselves. 

[pluto]

One must be aware of the mass judgment forced upon by dating apps. You are forced to judge(swipe right/left) like/dislike ect.. each and everyone you cross. If you are not attuned to spirit and aware of these things, you can be consumed in your own delusion thus slowly but gradually become someone you are not. This is called technological programming, especially if you are not healthy in diet/lifestyle(chemical balance), technology can manipulate you easily.

[tenta]

It's easier for women to get partners and be treated well especially shown by tinder experiments? Your self bias: "oh poor them they're not appreciated for the things they can control, clearly women are disadvantaged here"

Women are 20% of the suicides? Your self bias: "women are just emotionally stronger"

Girls out perform men in elementary and high school? Your self bias: "oh wow they're working so hard, but the wage gap is just sexism"

Looks matter for both men and women, while you have zero evidence they matter more for women? "women should all get free cosmetic surgery"

[huyhanh1]

ohh topic

[possibilities]

Still departing from this forum but I thought I'd just help others here:

I recommend following my post on maturity, its poorly developed at present but I'll go in depth over the next few days:

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-know-that-you-have-become-an-adult/answer/Michael-L-Whild

It's important to be weary of things like confirmation bias, bandwagon effect and many other forms of bias when we're attempting to form conclusions of things.

Think of the absence of utilising intelligence, we're essentially just balls of emotions incapable of establishing any coherence about reality.

But then think of the absence of emotions, we'd essentially just be robots incentivised by nothing and if anything at bare minimum, excitement in our reward centre from intellectual stimulation. 

I touch on this here:

https://www.quora.com/Which-is-the-more-valid-form-of-knowledge-pure-logic-and-reason-or-sensory-experience/answer/Michael-L-Whild

In short, advancing ones intelligence, all forms emotional and otherwise beyond the status quo of what a humans usually used to is extremely important to ones own personal growth and the growth of civilisation itself. Growth is created via reflections on the past, so my own method is to look out at what I see, including myself, figure out the patterns of such to the best of my ability, then attempt to extract meanings that push me to the next level. I move extremely slowly, but its not about making giant leaps, its about making small steps one day at a time.

Ockham's razor as for sharing emotions, of which I do that's just confirmation bias especially in the context of when I'm purposefully attempting to extract intellectual meaning from a subject given that's the purpose of the endeavour, I don't really do that much of it here simply because I don't really enjoy my experience much, so other than frustrations that I've shared I like helping people where I can but I feel even that's just wasted time as well because its not like I've noticed some people really trying to reflect on anything I've said. Subconsciously I guess I don't really perceive it as a safe environment to feel at ease emotionally expressing myself as well because I notice how dogmatic and unquestioning some people are. People don't ask as many questions about their experience that I think is necessary to truly have a healthy discussion, moreover I've noticed people frequently draw erroneous conclusions from weakly thought out ideas. 

Overall I've concluded this forum to be an unhealthy environment for stimulating the growth of neurogenesis in the brain and general neuroindividuality, its no offence to Leo of course I noticed this immediately upon posting here months ago and voiced myself accordingly, its just the nature of how things are:

https://www.the-scientist.com/daily-news/the-neurobiology-of-individuality-39340

I hope this at least somewhat answers any questions on the subject.

Peace out and good luck!  

[Odysseus]

@possibilities Once again you tell others the nature of how things are. I think if you want a healthy discussion you should stop talking down to others.

I wish you good luck for your journey too 

[possibilities]

^ Exactly one of the reasons why its not worth time in my opinion, many people here can't be straight to the point and honest. Instead they feel the need to be passive aggressive and deceptive. You look at me, I'm always direct and right to the point.

It creates a toxic environment.

Its not about me being 'better' its about having self respect, you don't want to be around people that are deceptive like that, you want to be around people that value truth, honesty and sincerity and put up boundaries like I do (though I'm learning to adjust the way I go about it) when people violate that because it goes no where constructive.

[mandyjw]

@possibilities I think you need to hang out with mother nature and get to know her better. She's both drop dead gorgeous and hideously ugly at the same time. Breathgiving. Breathtaking.

 

[Odysseus]

@possibilities

1 hour ago, possibilities said:

You look at me, I'm always direct and right to the point.

Is it direct to recommend others who criticise your ideas to read your blog entry on maturity? And is it honestly so, that you are doing this because you want to help others or is it just an implication of their lack of maturity and your superiority? 

[possibilities]

That's a little better, my only advice is to try and not create a personality out of me because the moment you do that you're either going to reject what I say and see me in some negative light or you're going to see me some misplaced positive light (sometimes somewhere in between but not with how I am generally).

The alternative is try to see experience as an open playing field, that way you'll be able to look at things more objectively. You won't try and judge someones actions in the way Odysseus has above where he's inferred my suggestion to read my Quora entries as some kind of an insult coming from:

Personality matrix A -------> believing themselves to be superior -----> To personality matrix B

Now personality matrix B, if it perceives itself as such and person A as such as well and therefore an attack on B, all of a sudden proper learning ceases and good communication stalls.

I have no desire to try and curb my way of helping others really, at least not in this setting, to me this is a self actualisation setting so I feel zero need to pull any punches its my expectation that such a forum invite others to look upon experience from that lens as opposed to being a static personality merely here to express opinions as opposed to delving deep and asking interesting questions. The difficulties I've mostly had with people on this forum is more their lack of critical thinking, pretending they know a lot about subjects when they really don't and then being deceptive about the process of curious investigation that followed up there.

Other than this, with respect to passive aggression @Keyhole if I have any advice there, how I've noticed it surface in myself in the past (hasn't for many years - and typically towards parents) is because I felt uncomfortable sharing my real preferences with others. That might be something to introspect about in relation to why you yourself have done it or do it.

Objectively, overall consistently there's an incompatibility on this forum that I don't have the time to really sort of cater to, again, its nothing personal of course its just goals are different. My goal is to dive deep into experience, it takes up so much more energy in my brain to always consistently think about how others will perceive the information I share, I'd rather use that energy in the relationships around me. For me I want to foster an online presence where it goes without saying that people can casually share their own resources, people don't take offense and so on and so fourth where everyone's just sincerely asking questions and advancing discussion.

Peace out, and for those that want to continue to be stuck in judgemental as opposed to learning mode by all means I'm done now, I have no need to defend myself anymore.

Edited August 30, 2019 by possibilities

[Key Elements]

"Everyone is trying to find the right person, but no one is trying to be the right person."

"True love isn't found. It's built."

Do something different this time, instead of creating a profile and talking. Self-actualization isn't done by talking...