Tinder update - Mother Nature is an asshole to women

[possibilities]

I just see my brain going “nope, nope, nope”, “oh I’ll feel bad if I don’t respond”, “is this chick serious? I just click like for all the profiles because I can’t be bothered looking at all of them I just want to see who I match with and now you’re messaging me because you think I like you. I mean, there’s literally nothing appealing going on here”. 

These are just internal muttering’s, and I don’t at all mean to be mean I’m just being bluntly honest to myself as that’s reality, that’s the way my brain has been genetically programmed, to select women in certain ways.

I feel bad for a lot of these women, Mother Nature has programmed the male brain to be so superficial towards them.

The lesson in this story: I pay much more attention to ugly women in my regular environment, secondly, I can draw better patterns in relation to how others will perceive other people in general because my brain has just subconsciously been learning how people make various visual assessments.

They think they might be able to convince others to pay more attention to them through their personality and so on but it’s all bullshit, at least 90% of people will treat them as less and they’ll be evolutionarily ditched so to speak where they’re forced to procreate with lesser. There are exceptions to the rule of course just talking generally speaking. To me all women should be allowed to have free state of the art cosmetic surgery so they can increase their chances of finding love because it tends to be more important for them. The stigma for plastic surgery should be removed, evolutionary selection should be seen for the devil that it is and people should be encouraged to be their physical best as opposed to being told LIES by the media about how it’s “okay to be ugly and fat just ‘be you’, show your true personality and everything will be great!”. Either that or we reprogram our evolutionary responses, anyhow I imagine we’ll eventually be doing both. 

Evolution is ‘dumb’ for lack of a better word, one day things will be better there though.

Women are superficial of course too but I’m just sticking up for women in this situation!

 

 

Edited August 23, 2019 by possibilities

[Leo Gura]

You are projecting your own ego all over the place here.

Just notice that. You are thinking with your dick.

[Aeris]

wow, too much thinking, try to use the apps with feeling but I would self inquiry and get more enlightment about communication/relation and girl understanding.

did you try to "pov" on the idea of being a girl ?

 

 

[ajasatya]

@possibilities Plastic surgery only helps in extreme cases. For the vast majority of people with low self-esteem problems, there will ALWAYS be the next thing to tweak, there will ALWAYS be a source of unsatisfactory.

Beware. The insights that arise from low consciousness activities, such as tinder, pornography or alcohol usage, are usually very poor.

[Emerald]

@possibilities This is actually more of a problem of under-developed masculinity and lack of integration. 

A man who is under-developed and immature in his masculinity will only be looks focused because sexuality only occurs on the level of the loins for them and does not integrate with sexuality on the level of heart or mind. And it's only connecting on the ground floor of sexuality.

Once you open your heart and mind, you will find women who aren't perfect looking attractive and you'll be much more focused toward intimacy and connection. And it's a much more pleasurable and intimate experience, and is honestly truly what you crave whether you realize it or not.

But this takes a lot of work for a (young/immature) man usually because the pull of the sexual instinct will maintain a holding point in the loins until he gathers enough energy to transmute that energy toward his heart. And this works against gravity. And if a man has an issue with addiction to masturbation, that energy won't accrue and will discipate.

This difficulty with heart opening is especially true with apps like Tinder because it simply doesn't function the way the normal human mating ritual is designed. So, it fundamentally doesn't allow for heart openings and getting to know women. It becomes basically like the fast food of sex and relationships, where you just throw a bunch of spaghetti at the way and see what sticks. This is not natural and goes against our natural instinct toward pair-bonding. And sex/relationship becomes only about checking boxes as opposed to developing intimacy with another human being.

A woman on the other hand, whose sexuality who runs opposite to a man's, begins in the mind, will have no trouble bringing her attraction to a man down through her heart and to here loins (if she's not blocked) because it goes with the flow of gravity. But it's trickier for her to find a guy who gets into her mind. 

Thus, Tinder is especially ill-fit for women, because absolutely ZERO aspects of the chemistry that she needs to fall in love with a man can come through that medium. Women need to experience a man fully and intuitively for him to get into her mind. And that's tricky because women usually only hold that space for one man at a time (or perhaps a few are contenders). So, it ends up, with Tinder, just sorting through a bunch of guys and not being able to pick up on his energetic signature.

Also, there is no need for women to get plastic surgery to attract a guy. No matter what a woman looks like, there will always be men that are interested if she seems open to relationships and/or sex. That's one of the perks and drawbacks of being a woman. There is never a shortage of men trying to get with you. 

And this is specifically why women tend to become very intuitive with regard to the maturity level of men. It's just very obvious when a guy is a high quality guy who is able to open his heart. And it's also very obvious to pick up on a guy who hasn't really stepped into mature manhood, and can't really be in tune with his heart and emotions. You get the sense that he isn't interested in meeting you where you are, and there would be no way for him to even fake it. 

Edit: Also, if any man wants to transmute his sexual energy from the loins up to the heart, he must first develop a strong sense of self, willpower, boundaries, and self esteem. The channel between the sacral chakra (sexuality) and the heart chakra (love and connection) has the solar plexus chakra in between which is all about personal development and self-hood. So, a little bit of self-actualization work is a necessary foundation to developing the capacity for love and connection. 

 

 

Edited August 26, 2019 by Emerald

[Fishy]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

@possibilities This is actually more of a problem of under-developed masculinity and lack of integration. 

A man who is under-developed and immature in his masculinity will only be looks focused because sexuality only occurs on the level of the loins for them and does not integrate with sexuality on the level of heart or mind. And it's only connecting on the ground floor of sexuality.

Once you open your heart and mind, you will find women who aren't perfect looking attractive and you'll be much more focused toward intimacy and connection. And it's a much more pleasurable and intimate experience, and is honestly truly what you crave whether you realize it or not.

But this takes a lot of work for a (young/immature) man usually because the pull of the sexual instinct will maintain a holding point in the loins until he gathers enough energy to transmute that energy toward his heart. And this works against gravity. And if a man has an issue with addiction to masturbation, that energy won't accrue and will discipate.

This difficulty with heart opening is especially true with apps like Tinder because it simply doesn't function the way the normal human mating ritual is designed. So, it fundamentally doesn't allow for heart openings and getting to know women. It becomes basically like the fast food of sex and relationships, where you just throw a bunch of spaghetti at the way and see what sticks. This is not natural and goes against our natural instinct toward pair-bonding. And sex/relationship becomes only about checking boxes as opposed to developing intimacy with another human being.

A woman on the other hand, whose sexuality who runs opposite to a man's, begins in the mind, will have no trouble bringing her attraction to a man down through her heart and to here loins (if she's not blocked) because it goes with the flow of gravity. But it's trickier for her to find a guy who gets into her mind. 

Thus, Tinder is especially ill-fit for women, because absolutely ZERO aspects of the chemistry that she needs to fall in love with a man can come through that medium. Women need to experience a man fully and intuitively for him to get into her mind. And that's tricky because women usually only hold that space for one man at a time (or perhaps a few are contenders). So, it ends up, with Tinder, just sorting through a bunch of guys and not being able to pick up on his energetic signature.

Also, there is no need for women to get plastic surgery to attract a guy. No matter what a woman looks like, there will always be men that are interested if she seems open to relationships and/or sex. That's one of the perks and drawbacks of being a woman. There is never a shortage of men trying to get with you. 

And this is specifically why women tend to become very intuitive with regard to the maturity level of men. It's just very obvious when a guy is a high quality guy who is able to open his heart. And it's also very obvious to pick up on a guy who hasn't really stepped into mature manhood, and can't really be in tune with his heart and emotions. You get the sense that he isn't interested in meeting you where you are, and there would be no way for him to even fake it. 

Edit: Also, if any man wants to transmute his sexual energy from the loins up to the heart, he must first develop a strong sense of self, willpower, boundaries, and self esteem. The channel between the sacral chakra (sexuality) and the heart chakra (love and connection) has the solar plexus chakra in between which is all about personal development and self-hood. So, a little bit of self-actualization work is a necessary foundation to developing the capacity for love and connection. 

 

 

Very good post! Thank you. 

[possibilities]

It seems that there's probably a misunderstanding regarding the underlying nature of nature itself, hidden within Tinder's patterns is an underlying feature within reality that you'd be smart to become familiar with.

There is an ordering system embedded within nature, Tinder although a simple app is a reflection of this ordering feature in the context of attraction. We are nature, so this ordering feature is embedded within us. Our selections on apps like this reflect genetic pairing at work, my hypothesis, although experience limited, what my research is finding to date is that people tend to get matched with those that fall on a similar level of attractiveness. Meaning an extremely attractive person will never, literally never get paired with a very unattractive person. This isn't superficial that's just media expressing itself through your biases, its just the nature of things and its something you have to come to terms with. This ordering feature occurs in comparisons of intelligence, competence in various skills, trustworthiness, abilities and all other types of things. In a sense, they're all competencies, we are mother nature and in its creation of life its created everything that inordinately develops into a ranking system and you get ranked based on your compatibility with reality, socially this is especially the case (Mother Nature creates the genes in you and then the fellow human offspring of mother nature’s creations are programmed to rank you based on the ordering system that Mother Nature wrote into their brains), externally this ranking is a byproduct of how you naturally stack up independent of social inquiry against the forces of life; if a rock falls on you and you die there is an inherent abstract ranking going on there, the same if you go out to the sea and survive a great white shark attack, the conditions upon which you survived describe from a snapshot perspective your ranking. Thus your ranking is a matter of comparative quality, how you compare with the rest of reality defines your level of quality as a being. There's no need to develop an ego about ones qualities however, because at the end of the day we're all nature just expressing itself.

@Emerald you haven't understood the depths of my post but I hope others have taken something away from what you've stated. There's a nuanced nature going on here that I don't think your comments have captured. With respect to women, it would be to their benefit if they were all extremely good looking that's all I'm saying, I'm not going off on a rant or entertaining discussion regarding the potential downfalls of plastic surgery. They should be obvious.

If anything I encourage others to experiment more with their perceptions of things, life is not what you've been made to believe it is. Experiments reveal truth not just whatever gets produced by our consciousness at the time.

I get it, there's sad truths to deal with when coming to terms with the implications of these things, but those sad terms once you've learned to handle them, if that is what you need to do perhaps you don't, you'll realise that its not a big deal and that you're happier that you understand how things are more likely to be beyond your own biases about relationships.

We've gotta encourage ourselves to look at things how they are, how they've shown to be overtime and how they could be (via experimentation).

And @Leo Gura, no. Its about experimentation, you're projecting that about me. My goal is understanding, I can't do that by just sitting on a couch thinking about it, I have to test what is actually there not what I think is there.

Edited August 26, 2019 by possibilities

[possibilities]

For the record I created two profiles of two male model like guys (not officially models):

1. super buff (pretty much looks like a bear without the fur plus more toned)

2. lean and creative (has guitar, film camera)

Super buff guy is killing it at the moment, women are going completely nuts. Just goes to show.

Profile (super buff) hasn't even been up for more than 10 minutes and it has 21 likes.

Once again, experiments reveal truth not what goes on in our heads. We have to observe what reality is, come to terms with and accept what we're seeing then adapt from there as opposed to going on with some nonsense in our brains about what the opposite sex does and doesn't like - no, experiments reveal that, not thoughts.

I'll create a profile with a relatively average guy, then get uglier from there.

It only takes a few moments as well so its not like it takes much out of you, and you get reality checks in the process (the sole purpose of the activity, that is, to learn about what reality is not what we think reality is).

Edited August 26, 2019 by possibilities

[possibilities]

I'll see what happens when I compare an ugly guy who's job title is "medical doctor" (or maybe business investor) and he's got his own private jet and mansion with these two other guys who I didn't even give job titles/related to. With Tinder I think the materialistic things matter less, on a mail order bride site though I'm sure the rich MD would stand more of a chance, but who knows maybe I'm wrong because again, experiments over assumptions.

Edited August 26, 2019 by possibilities

[Odysseus]

@possibilities Tinder is not nature. Tinder is just a dating app in our time of over-stimulation, of objectification, of consumerism. This 'beauty' is a relative thing, there is no law of nature that you are attracted to big butts or small noses. There is a cultural consensus about beauty in every system, in every time. That's not nature. You're just displaying whats in your head, your relative. Your experiment tells something about attraction on tinder , not attraction in general or the nature of attraction. Your experiment reavels mostly how you perceive Beauty and how you're creating assumptions out of your perception. 

Edited August 26, 2019 by Odysseus

[Ibn Sina]

' Nature has been cruel towards women because we men tend to be superficial towards women , plastic surgery is the only way they could find love'

I don't think nature is cruel towards 'women', first of all the word 'women' is a big word it covers the 50% population, sure 10% of them may be super attractive and they have a great dating life, likewise the bottom 10% may be super ugly and they may have huge failure in their dating life, and the rest may be average. But this is also the case of men. 10% men take away all the girls, the bottom 10% become a virgin, in the middle are all the average.

This is just life. And this is true for both men and women, not just women. There are successful / good looking men, successful / good looking women, unsuccessful / ugly men, unsuccessful/ugly women. Nature is not biased. 

Edited August 26, 2019 by Ibn Sina

[Forestluv]

18 hours ago, Emerald said:

A man who is under-developed and immature in his masculinity will only be looks focused because sexuality only occurs on the level of the loins for them and does not integrate with sexuality on the level of heart or mind. And it's only connecting on the ground floor of sexuality.

Once you open your heart and mind, you will find women who aren't perfect looking attractive and you'll be much more focused toward intimacy and connection. And it's a much more pleasurable and intimate experience, and is honestly truly what you crave whether you realize it or not.

Yep. 

[possibilities]

Please read my comments before trying to explain what my perspective must be, thanks. I’ve clearly stated it, you just might need to introspect on the comments more. 

Which woman would you choose? Perhaps once you’ve introspected enough over this question you’ll understand the underlying masculine/feminine (weakness vs strength and to that end followed by symmetry) dynamic for why you’re straight (if you are) in the first place.

You need to think properly about this stuff, beauty isn’t relative. Partly yes, but there’s a reason why I’m not attracted to cows or frogs. 

Youll judge me because it feels good to judge, but it only hurts your capacity to see reality. I actually perform experiments, you’re just speaking from whatever is in your head.

@Ibn Abbas many woman’s prospects are affected by their looks, from dating to employment to medical tests.

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by possibilities

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, possibilities said:

@Emerald you haven't understood the depths of my post but I hope others have taken something away from what you've stated. There's a nuanced nature going on here that I don't think your comments have captured. With respect to women, it would be to their benefit if they were all extremely good looking that's all I'm saying, I'm not going off on a rant or entertaining discussion regarding the potential downfalls of plastic surgery. They should be obvious.

If anything I encourage others to experiment more with their perceptions of things, life is not what you've been made to believe it is. Experiments reveal truth not just whatever gets produced by our consciousness at the time.

I get it, there's sad truths to deal with when coming to terms with the implications of these things, but those sad terms once you've learned to handle them, if that is what you need to do perhaps you don't, you'll realise that its not a big deal and that you're happier that you understand how things are more likely to be beyond your own biases about relationships.

We've gotta encourage ourselves to look at things how they are, how they've shown to be overtime and how they could be (via experimentation).

I understood 100% of what you said in your post. And nothing of what you said was anything new to me.

I've been sorting this issue since I was a small child living in a world obsessed with women's looks. Women live the direct self-consciousness about looks daily as a result of this constant reminder. Therefore, I've been introspecting and contemplating on this issue for a very long time, and have been dating and been in relationships for about 17 years. So, I find it somewhat laughable that you're talking to me about coming to grips with something that is constantly in the background of my life that you likely only were doing some mental masturbation (or actual masturbation :D) about. 

But one of the things that you learn as an average woman, who doesn't look like a model, is that there are men who exist at varying levels of sexual and emotional maturity. So, there may be some who only want 10s... most of whom are not 10s themselves, and will overlook all the opportunities to be in a real relationship in hopes to be with an ideal.

But there are also tons of men who are mature enough to be in a relationship with that can appreciate more modest forms of beauty and are mostly heart focused with their relationships. So, they desire intimacy with a woman more than the excitement of bedding a hottie. In fact, this is the only kind of man you can have a worthwhile relationship with in the first place. Other men, won't be able to meet you where you are emotionally which steals away all the loving and erotic feelings. 

So, your perspective is coming from a very 1-dimensional map of the dating world that only focuses toward the baser instincts of sexuality... specifically the male baser instincts in this case. It's also filtered through the lens of using the Tinder app, which is quite a far cry from the natural human mating ritual. It doesn't engage the entire being in the dating process in the way warm organic courtship does. So, it's very reductive. And this 1 dimensional focus, in itself, is a distortion because there is a lot more than just base instinct within sexuality and relationships.

And you can even look around at the world and see that reality contradicts your ideas. People of all levels of attractiveness find mates. And people typically tend to pair-bond with someone around their looks-match. Studies have even shown it to be true.

So, you're only focusing at the level of the loins and not at the level of heart or mind. 

Now, if reality only worked at the level of the beast in us, then it could be said that mother nature is quite cruel to unattractive people. And especially women, whose base attraction has largely to do with visual fertility signifiers. And certainly looks help to attract a mate. But this is quite obvious to everyone... women especially. So, your assertion is kind of a "duh" from the female perspective. We know what men like sexually, as that information is literally everywhere. So, it's as obvious as saying the grass is green.

But despite this, the reality is that it evens out. And I know this from experience. I'm an average looking woman, and I've probably been approached over 1000 times. Not to mention all the willing ones who didn't approach. The odds are quite good for finding a mate. And the choosing is largely in the woman's hands.

And this is so because men are generally not really picky. If a woman wants a man, she can find one in short order. And that's true, even if she's a 2. The only reason why women will tend to have issue finding a guy is if she's too guarded and men feel intimidated approaching her. But it will seldom if ever just be looks alone that stands in the way. A woman could be very unattractive, but very flirtatious, and there will be plenty of men who flock around her.

Women, on the other hand are usually at least somewhat choosy. This difference between men and women can be chalked up to basic biology and practicality... Men can have 1000 kids per year if he really tried with potentially no practical commitment needed. Women can have one child a year, and there is a direct impact on her body and circumstances and an 18 year commitment on the other end of the pregnancy. 

So, women are naturally more picky when it comes to choosing a mate for this reason. And the intuition is used to do that choosing more than the eyes are. 

So, what you're saying about it being easier for a woman to find a mate if she's more attractive is very obvious. But also, your idea that only attractive women have men who are genuinely interested in them is untrue. It's not actually necessary at all. You're just basing this idea on your experience of either being a man who hasn't opened his heart enough to appreciate a relationship with a woman OR you're basing all of your ideas on your experience of scrolling through Tinder... which isn't anything like real dating/courtship.

 

 

 

 

[possibilities]

@Emerald There's still misunderstanding.

Please avoid saying you understand when you don't, its kind of rude:

• I'm talking specifically on the subject of attractiveness, I never even brought up cultural issues.
  - someone who is better looking compared to someone who is the same on every other indicator objectively has a better chance
• I'm also interested in discovering what underlying patterns exist in the context of this overarching pattern as implicated by my comment pertaining to rank

To have a proper discussion on this we have to put aside our beliefs about the world and objectively look at what is actually there and the likelihood of particular probabilities, this has nothing to do with being a "reflection of me". I'm doing experiments, the opposite of just focusing on me. If you have experiments to share, please share them and we can compare results then advance our findings from there but in the meantime, if you're unable to facilitate objective discussion I think it would be respectful to move on, thank you.

Edited August 27, 2019 by possibilities

[DrewNows]

@possibilities you’re underestimating mindset and world view/belief systems. Everything you see and put meaning toward is a reflection of your beliefs and world view. 20 years on an isolated cow with an island and frog, let’s see if you’re not gonna fall in love with a goat  

Shallow hallow my friend, realize your relativistic focus, just because you follow the herd doesn’t mean others see that herd in the same light 

[Yog]

This is why in the olden days people didn't see their partners until the wedding .Things were rather practical.



This thread reminds me of .. China.

 

[Emerald]

25 minutes ago, possibilities said:

@Emerald There's still misunderstanding.

Please avoid saying you understand when you don't, its kind of rude:

• I'm talking specifically on the subject of attractiveness, I never even brought up cultural issues.
  - someone who is better looking compared to someone who is the same on every other indicator objectively has a better chance
• I'm also interested in discovering what underlying patterns exist in the context of this overarching pattern as implicated by my comment pertaining to rank

To have a proper discussion on this we have to put aside our beliefs about the world and objectively look at what is actually there and the likelihood of particular probabilities, this has nothing to do with being a "reflection of me". I'm doing an experiments, the opposite of just focusing on me. If you have experiments to share, please share them and we can compare results then advance our findings from there but in the meantime, if you're unable to facilitate objective discussion I think it would be respectful to move on, thank you.

I've done a ton of field tests and experiments on this already. Trust me.  That's my point. I'm telling you what I've found. It just disagrees with your hypothesis, so you think that I don't understand what you're saying.

Also, what you're saying about attractiveness outweighing every other indicator relationship-wise is not true for everyone... probably just from your perspective and others who share a similar perspective.

But a mature man who has been around the block a time or two and is interested in a real relationship, will pick a 6 who's compatible over an 9 who's incompatible, in a relationship. Now, he may pick the 9 for a one-night stand or brief fling because it's a novel experience. But women are generally not very into that anyway. So, it's not so unfortunate from their perspective.

Also, if you have any questions regarding the underlying patterns that exist in the context of this over-arching pattern, then feel free to ask. I have 30 years of experience being female. And we have a front-row seat to these phenomena that men don't and can't experience.

And I totally agree that we should put aside beliefs to see what's actually there. That's what I've been telling you the entire time. My experiences are in-congruent with your beliefs... so I'm trying to help you see that your beliefs are not accurate because they are only viewing reality through one very distorted lens. But my experiences, I will not set aside. They are experiences not beliefs. That's the difference in our perspectives.

But here are the results of some of my experiments...

If you're an average or above woman, most men will want to have sex with you. If you're an unattractive woman, you'll still have no issue finding a man who wants to have sex with you. And about 20% or more of men who want to have sex with you will be willing to be in a relationship with you. Most men are just overjoyed to get attention and acceptance from a woman, and they crave it.

This is an approximation of what I've witnessed and experienced. 

Now, there is privilege in terms of women who are considered attractive by the consensus. So, I'm not saying that pretty privilege doesn't exist. It's just that you're implying that looks is the only factor of any import for women in all situations, and most sectors of society aren't that objectifying or harsh to the overarching degree that you assume. And this includes the dating sector. 

 

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by Emerald

[possibilities]

@DrewNows There's still misunderstanding on your part, this has nothing to do with me. All I am simply doing is running an experiment and trying to understand the results of that experiment. As I've mentioned to Emerald, if you have your own experiments to share please do.

Can you provide me an example of where someone extremely good looking has been with someone extremely ugly? Just one single example? Just one, not two, not even 10, just one.

How many examples can you find of the opposite?

@Emerald Yes I agree that this happens and is possible.

I'm strictly speaking from the position of understanding the abstract underlying patterns from the experimental results, so I'm deliberately looking crudely at the results of attractiveness as opposed to looking at how a person altogether would be marked combined with other characteristics, so there's some confusion on your part here by assuming that I was saying that attractiveness was all that mattered or anything to that end. The ranking system I noted before speaks of a general pattern that can be extrapolated to a holistic ranking number that someone would have and thus would be their perceived rank (judged by their partner) divided by their real rank (if you were less attractive you'd hope your partner rated you higher, if you were more attractive you'd hope that you got what you deserved or higher). Attractiveness among many other characteristics from personality to preferences to ego development would be other things which would be subconsciously weighed in the relationship.

Intelligence is just as superficial as attractiveness.

You will likely never find an incredibly intelligent person with an incredibly dumb person (although you will find large discrepancies, I'm just talking about extreme ends).

The same with ego development, you will generally never find someone who is extremely developed here with someone who is extremely poorly developed.

The same with all other valued characteristics.

This is math at work.

"So, I'm not saying that pretty privilege doesn't exist. It's just that you're implying that looks is the only factor"

So obviously this is flat out false, quote me if I'm wrong otherwise avoid assuming that this is the case.

Edited August 27, 2019 by possibilities

[possibilities]

@Yog yeah pretty amazing transformations, genetic engineering will inevitably become an unstoppable force regardless as to how much some demographics cry.

Id hospital.

This woman's entire world would have changed now, even more so if she works on other areas of personal development of course.

 

Edited August 27, 2019 by possibilities