How to get out of reaction mode?

[rorghee]

So when ego is 'triggered' and say you have fear come up, I can react and concentrate out of negative motivation which only fuels the fear more. When in this situation where there is no or little positive motivation, it feels like your just fucked, whatever you do just makes it worse because the only thing in your control is to concentrate but if you're negatively motivated to concentrate its no use. You could try let go of it but easier said than done. 

Most other emotions are fine to accept, but fear is the worst because if you accept it you fail at what youre trying to overcome and if you react in resistance it gets worse, but when fear takes over for me personally i can't connect with much genuine positive motivation and i lose control.

What can you even do in these moments?

 

Edited August 21, 2019 by rorghee

[Nahm]

Create. 

[rorghee]

@Nahm Care to elaborate lol

[Nahm]

@rorghee what do you want? 

[rorghee]

@Nahm you said create I don't know what you mean exactly

I want to know how one overcomes fear when it consumes you because for me it seems like the only thing in my control is to concentrate but I keep finding myself only concentrating in a resistant/avoidant way

[Nahm]

@rorghee What would you be doing if you didn’t have the fear?

[rorghee]

@NahmYou know, I dont even know, just doing what I have to do without thinking to hard about what goes wrong, i feel like Im disconnected from my own personal intention when fear is present and can get to me even when I'm not in a fearful state for days sometimes, I feel like my own agenda is second priority in my default state and only sometimes I when Im very attentive can I not be like this

Edited August 21, 2019 by rorghee

[Nahm]

@rorghee I am understanding of what you don’t want. It’s just not interesting. I am interested in what you do want. Are you interested in sharing more of what you do want? 

[rorghee]

@NahmOkey let me try, 

I honestly dont really know because I've been disconnected with what I want for years and most of my healthy values are negatively motivated .

The main one I can bring to mind is approval,  and living a life around that makes other toxic things, and I'm trying to evolve out of it because I can see what its doing but the thing is i still habitually want them, I'm trying to change because I want to feel free and live a better lifestyle 

Edited August 21, 2019 by rorghee

[Nahm]

@rorghee Sorry but I’m not clear on what you’re saying. Can you state what you want in as few words as possible? 

[rorghee]

@Nahm Bro youre messing with me,

i want to feel good about myself ?

 

 

 

[Nahm]

@rorghee What’s more important?

[pluto]

Read my signature, imbue it in your mind as often as possible, until it becomes one with thy subconscious. Eventually you no longer react, the breath always leads to responding rather than reacting.

[WelcometoReality]

8 hours ago, rorghee said:

Most other emotions are fine to accept, but fear is the worst because if you accept it you fail at what youre trying to overcome and if you react in resistance it gets worse, but when fear takes over for me personally i can't connect with much genuine positive motivation and i lose control.

Can you accept that the fear is there and do things you fearful of anyway?

Most people feel fear at some points in there life but do you give in to the fear or meet it head on?

Meeting it is bravery. That's how you change your life.

[rorghee]

@Nahm Thats the thing with priorities, due to habits and fear I cant seem to control what I prioritise in such moments. I like what you did though I need to assess my values, and I have been trying. But i run on logic that if I feel better then I can overcome the challenge easier because when theres calm theres clarity 

[rorghee]

@WelcometoReality Sometimes I can it's just hard in the moment sometimes if I'm not alert enough to see whats going on

[WelcometoReality]

@rorghee Yeah certain times are harder than others and remember that it's ok to be caught off guard. Allowing yourself to be caught can release some of the resistance to it.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, rorghee said:

@Nahm Thats the thing with priorities, due to habits and fear I cant seem to control what I prioritise in such moments. I like what you did though I need to assess my values, and I have been trying. But i run on logic that if I feel better then I can overcome the challenge easier because when theres calm theres clarity 

If you are not enjoying your priorities, address your priorities - by creating many more of them. Get a large dry erase board, and dream up the life you actually want. When you think you’re “done”, take a breather, and then actually put some love into it, ?and dream Way Bigger. Your dream should be flat out impossible ultimately, beyond what you consider possible. Start where you are, but also carry it allllll the way out. The biggest dream you can come up. Then watch the details fill in, and choose thoughts which are aligned with your dream, that feel good to you, just like the stuff your wrote on the board. 

Then, what was “mundane”, what was a matter of choosing between “what you have to do” “priorities”... is now beginning to take shape, within a much bigger, and much more sensational, puzzle - and you’ve got a bird’s eye view on this puzzle, and it gets exciting when your day to day “grind” is revealed to be the very thing which is leading you to more and more of what you want.  Everything earned, gained, received - is but more seed of, and for, your dream. It does get downright exhilarating. You’ll no longer be focusing on the breathe, but enjoying it being taken away, moment after moment, a perpetual impossible miracle of all that you want unfolding in the most joyful, unexpected, unbelievable, unfathomable, and divinely synchronistic ways. You new problem with “priorities” will actually become experiencing all that you desire to, within the limited amount of time we are given to live this best of both worlds. 

 

 

If you have acknowledged habits, then they are no longer unconscious, and therefore no longer habits. You are doing precisely what you want to be doing. No biggie. The expression of your wanting, your life dream, when seen on the board - is a wind in the sails. You’ll naturally change many things in alignment with feeling. There is never a justification for beating up on one’s self. If you find yourself doing so, write “I am beating up on my self” on your board, and notice it does not actually make any sense, because you are not two. Have a good laugh. Maybe a good cry too. 

Knowing reality, knowing that which you are wanting, IS that which you are seeing and hearing right now - knowing that you do not “get there”, but rather all that you see & hear, that in front of you right now - becomes what you are wanting...and you need only choose thoughts aligned with how you feel.....the knowing of that, the feeling of that - is far, far better than any thing “That”, could become. 

 

There’s no Santa. ? I do not enjoy being the one to have to break this news to you, and I am very sorry if this is difficult for you to hear. But, there just isn’t. It was grown ups the whole time man.  Likewise, there is no fear. You can pretend for as long as you like though, no one will stop you. If & when you tire of it, just begin inspecting things, from the better feeling place of seeing what you really want, and seeing it manifest in so many beautiful ways. Then, do some inspection, look up that chimney, contemplate how he could get to so many houses in one night, really inspect...have you directly experienced reindeer that fly? Without proper inspection, for all you know, you could be Santa - without even knowing it. 

And, calm is a sensation, a feeling. Logic is not. One is oneness, the other is two-ness (duality - just thinking). 

I say a better use for thinking, is creating. Careful listening to anything I say though, people think I’m nuts. You gotta see for yourself. How fun is reaction? How fun is creation? Where does how you feel place on your “priorities list”?

 

TLDR: Lifesucks?#dreambigger/you’retheuniverse

 

 

 

 

 

[molosku]

22 hours ago, rorghee said:

So when ego is 'triggered' and say you have fear come up, I can react and concentrate out of negative motivation which only fuels the fear more. When in this situation where there is no or little positive motivation, it feels like your just fucked, whatever you do just makes it worse because the only thing in your control is to concentrate but if you're negatively motivated to concentrate its no use. You could try let go of it but easier said than done. 

Most other emotions are fine to accept, but fear is the worst because if you accept it you fail at what youre trying to overcome and if you react in resistance it gets worse, but when fear takes over for me personally i can't connect with much genuine positive motivation and i lose control.

What can you even do in these moments?

 

First, you must observe. It is really the only thing you can do at first. Observe, and you will cultivate awareness. You will start to notice your behavior patterns more easily, and then you can struggle against it. 

I recommend works of P. D. Ouspensky. Look up leos video: the staggering depth of your unawareness. 

[rorghee]

@Nahm really useful advice thank you fro writing that, 

Dreaming big is something i need to think about, I have not much of an idea on what I want outside of things that will make me feel good/will please my ego, I never was a kid with dreams from young and i'm at an age where I'm starting adult life and I still don't know so it's like I have no reason to leave my house sometimes, as you dont have to these days with the technology and what not. I think I will really apply myself to start prioritising my integrity over feeling good and change habits from that