Brainstorming Which Job to choose to Be around Women/the other sex

[flowboy]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm a software engineer by day and an independent (hobbyist) app developer by night... which means a pretty busy schedule that doesn't involve being around hot girls. Or any. It's really a miracle that I'm not a virgin.

The thing is, trying to cram some hours of going out to meet women, while perpetually underslept and stuck in my head thinking about work, is really swimming upstream.

I'm very jealous of people that have always worked in nightlife and are therefore always around lots of girls, so they have huge dating advantages. I feel pretty angry that my trade (seemingly) doesn't involve meeting women.

Do you guys have any ideas? Is there a type of programmer I could be that his job requires him to meet lots of people?

Is there a well-paid gig that maybe related that I could try?

 

I'm looking for ideas.

Edited August 22, 2019 by flowboy
more meaningful title, may be relevant to others besides myself

[flowboy]

Man, if I could change the topic title, I'd make it something other people would identify with and more clearly captures the problem statement. This is not just about 'me', this is just opening up a brain storm for anyone who is interested in having a socialized work situation.

But there's no option to change the title..? Sorry guys, it was late at night and I was only thinking about myself

Edited August 22, 2019 by flowboy

[Bill W]

What about working on the obsession about girls? I mean if its driving you to consider a career change just to meet that need then it might be worth looking at? Is it sex addiction? I haven't read your journal to be fair. 

I don't see many on this forum basing their career around their primitive needs dude. 

[flowboy]

40 minutes ago, Bill W said:

I don't see many on this forum basing their career around their primitive needs dude. 

Great, well I don't really like to base my decisions on what a crowd is doing, but rather think for myself.

And there's nothing wrong with getting laid. You wouldn't be here without it.

Edited August 22, 2019 by flowboy

[universe]

Just be a programmer, inside of a bigger company/project with lots of girls. I know a programmer who does this and he meets lots of girls (well lets say enough) when he is away for projects.

1. Its not: A (work with women) -> B (get good with women)
2. Its more like: A (be good with women) -> B (meet them just everywhere)

Never let anything external decide you fate. You are everything.

[flowboy]

@universe  Interesting perspective! Thank you!

So he travels to customers and that's where the meeting new people happens? I could look into that...

I think you're right about the order.

I need to practice though. I'm not that bad with women, but I am habitually stuck in my head a lot. Especially when doing 'heady' work like programming.

Amazing that your friend doesn't have this problem. Maybe that's what's in my head, hahahahah.

[Odysseus]

8 hours ago, flowboy said:

Great, well I don't really like to base my decisions on what a crowd is doing, but rather think for myself.

And there's nothing wrong with getting laid. You wouldn't be here without it.

I have to agree with Bill in some way. I wouldn't call getting laid primitive but in life you've to make a few decisions which shape your life drastically. Instead of what self-help and society are telling us you can't have it all. And that is a good thing, because in the end so much things are meaningless for oneself on a relative level. 

But if that need for many girls is authentic to you, go for it. I guess teaching about programming, working on social apps/projects, creating a link between the club scene and your profession may be possibilities.

Edited August 23, 2019 by Odysseus

[JonasVE12]

So, you want to change your career so you are around more women you can interact with and possibly get attraction with.

the thing is, do you even know how to get attraction? Because it does look like you don’t have options. Is this because lack of opportunity, or lack of skill? 

It is probably both. But if you work on your attraction skills, you will be able to meet women anywhere and get them interested in you. Don’t think that if you change your job, and are around more women, you will have succes.

This struggle is probably on your mind a lot. Everyone wants to have fun dating people, right? You need a gameplan. 

Go look at women psychology, and look at what kind of behaviour triggers attraction in women and practice in real life situations. Go talk to women on the street. Don’t be too serious. Just Joke around. If you go up to a girl and say “daddy is here” and look at her with a playful smile is beter than nervously go up to her and say “hey, my name is bob. I’m a programmer”.

Research Research Research

Practice Practice Practice

[Odysseus]

@JonasVE12 I guess he has both of them down, attraction and understanding of women psychology (I read his journal). IMO he just can't get enough. He's a perfectionist.

[flowboy]

2 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

the thing is, do you even know how to get attraction? Because it does look like you don’t have options.

Thank you for your projections but they are incorrect. I would appreciate answering my actual question.

[flowboy]

2 hours ago, Odysseus said:

IMO he just can't get enough. He's a perfectionist.

Both of these statements are true. Thank you for reading

Well I had one week this year where I slept with 5 women. In that time, I would say I could get enough. But I had time off work then, so that's why that was feasible.

 

Maybe I'm making it sound extra ridiculous because I enjoy how strange this must sound to many people.

But the fact is, my friends haven't been able to convince me that my high sex drive is a bad thing, and neither will you guys probably. So I'm looking to optimize my life to accomodate that, but not completely ruin it.

Edited August 23, 2019 by flowboy

[Spiral]

Gynecologist? 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Spiral

[flowboy]

@Spiral  Haaaahahahaha???

[JonasVE12]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

Thank you for your projections but they are incorrect. I would appreciate answering my actual question.

It’s a question based on the impression I get from your question. If you want to change your career so you can have more opportunities with women, then It’s plausible to conclude that you don’t have much options at this time. You say it yourself that you are too busy with work. What are your priorities? Women or work? If you can set it up so you have both, Nice. But is this realistic? Are there posibilities for you to get a job somewhere as a programmer that has lots of women around? Research this. But as this is a field that women are often not interested in, it would be difficult I think. Also, what you gonna do? Chat up every woman at your work and if you run out of women, you gonna change again?

it would be much more realistic to create free time and do activities that you enjoy that include women. 

you could also do cold approach pick-up. This way you’ll never run out of possibilities. 

Edited August 23, 2019 by JonasVE12

[flowboy]

@JonasVE12 Again you spit your game ideology at me without really listening/reading what I said. This is a sticking point people also often have with women

I'm all for cold approach my friend. You're preaching to the choir. Thing is I can't do it that much right now because I spend all my free time on a project that could take years and is important to me.

1 hour ago, JonasVE12 said:

If you can set it up so you have both, Nice. But is this realistic?

Hence this topic, inviting people to brainstorm ideas

 

1 hour ago, JonasVE12 said:

Also, what you gonna do? Chat up every woman at your work and if you run out of women, you gonna change again?

See, I am not looking for female coworkers to hit on, because I'm not a dumbass. Frankly I'm a bit offended that that is what you gather from what I wrote.

Nightlife people get a lot of exposure and interaction time with hot girls. And while on the job. And not their coworkers. Which is why I named that example.

[Odysseus]

3 hours ago, flowboy said:

Both of these statements are true. Thank you for reading

Well I had one week this year where I slept with 5 women. In that time, I would say I could get enough. But I had time off work then, so that's why that was feasible.

 

Maybe I'm making it sound extra ridiculous because I enjoy how strange this must sound to many people.

But the fact is, my friends haven't been able to convince me that my high sex drive is a bad thing, and neither will you guys probably. So I'm looking to optimize my life to accomodate that, but not completely ruin it.

I think this is legit and quite impressive (in a weird way) but it backfires because you'll have the feeling of constant FOMO if you're not alert for opportunities all the time - which is impossible imo. This will create a subtle dissatisfaction. But I guess you have to do this - what I respect. 

Back to brainstorming: I work at an art gallery. There are plenty of hot artsy girls. How this connects to being a programmer, idk  

[JonasVE12]

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

@JonasVE12 Again you spit your game ideology at me without really listening/reading what I said. This is a sticking point people also often have with women

I'm all for cold approach my friend. You're preaching to the choir. Thing is I can't do it that much right now because I spend all my free time on a project that could take years and is important to me.

Hence this topic, inviting people to brainstorm ideas

 

See, I am not looking for female coworkers to hit on, because I'm not a dumbass. Frankly I'm a bit offended that that is what you gather from what I wrote.

Nightlife people get a lot of exposure and interaction time with hot girls. And while on the job. And not their coworkers. Which is why I named that example.

You’re right. I’m spitting my game ideology at you blindely without reading your question attentively, It looked like you wanted to change your career because you are desperate, and think this will somehow help your situation. Often people try to change external things in order to fulfill some goal like getting a girlfriend, they change their life situation and think somehow this will magically make them attractive and gets them girls, but they find themself being in the same position. It's about conciously working on this skill and creating a vision that generates opportunities. I’m used to people in my environment sucking with girls, that really needed this and have made really good progress. I notice a lot of people not have the ability to create a great vision, but I should look more to the context, indeed. Anyways, good luck!

Edited August 23, 2019 by JonasVE12

[flowboy]

On 23-8-2019 at 5:09 PM, Odysseus said:

Back to brainstorming: I work at an art gallery. There are plenty of hot artsy girls. How this connects to being a programmer, idk  

See, this is what we need more of! Thinking in possibilities rather than negatives!

Sometimes to come up with a cool new idea, we need to ask the questions again that most people would consider case closed.

Thank you for contributing a next step.

Art gallery... Interesting... I could work with that maybe!

[SFRL]

There are a few obvious things to consider:

1A: Do you like the actual work you are doing at your current job. 

1B: Do you make good money at your current job/would you take a pay cut changing careers? 

2: Consider what would be the negatives if you mix work with your dating life. 

 

[flowboy]

On 8/24/2019 at 6:51 PM, SFRL said:

1A: Do you like the actual work you are doing at your current job. 

I do, although I also do plenty of programming in my free time, and I've outgrown the environment where I work now so I'm open to a change.

On 8/24/2019 at 6:51 PM, SFRL said:

1B: Do you make good money at your current job/would you take a pay cut changing careers? 

I'm quite underpaid, actually. Less than what I make now would not work.

On 8/24/2019 at 6:51 PM, SFRL said:

2: Consider what would be the negatives if you mix work with your dating life. 

I suppose it would be hard to concentrate and do my work well. Female distraction would be everywhere.

I've been playing with the idea of a job/business that actually requires me to cold-approach hot girls. That would be cool, so I could work through my fears and get experience while earning a living.