I was thinking about death, questioned a possibility and then I threw up

[assx95]

Being dead feels exactly like being alive.

What if i am dead, and i am doing the same things i did, when i was alive?  I wouldn't have known when death happened, and i would have continued on, like its' another moment. For a moment, i thought i was a spirit trapped in a spirit world. 

There was a sense of calm, everything seemed unreal as in a dream, i felt like i knew nothing, and then the terror kicked in, that if i am dead, what am i actually doing? And i threw up. I couldn't stomach the idea that I might be dead, and the people in my life could be the figments of my imagination like in a dream, and that i left the real world behind. There was this feeling of eerieness and horror. Like what now? I am trapped. This is hell. This is horrible. Even though i could have moments where i am at peace with everything, and it's a thing of beauty. Kind of like an LSD trip, and i am fully sober. 

TL;DR: A re-contextualization happened, that i am in a spirit world, and for it be that way, i must be dead in the material one. 

Edited August 21, 2019 by assx95

[Gili Trawangan]

Dead and alive are just ideas. Consider the possibility that you are neither and both at once, or better yet beyond both concepts