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Jan Odvarko

Meditation And Procrastination / Loss Of Drive

4 posts in this topic

First it's good to clarify that it was because of anxiety and depression that I started to practice meditation. After some time both depression and anxiety subsided, or rather the suffering that would accompany them.

What remains up until today however is the lack of motivation. Most of the time I'm quite aligned with the present moment, so nothing is telling me to do something to change it.

What used to drive my actions was mostly fear, anxiety, and ego-centered pursuits, all of which was kind of nudging me to try reach some imagined ideal state. But now I have no ambitions, nothing to chase for and no suffering to keep me moving in some direction in order to try to get rid of it. Many a day I just lay in my bed or slowly walk and observe the world, unexcited and uninvolved. It's like a depression without suffering. Which is not very practical for life though.

Anyone experienced something similar? What would you recommend? Is this some kind of intermediate step which will eventually go away?

Thank you.


Read it all, tried it all, can't remember any of it.

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@Jan Odvarko  It sounds to me you have adopted the roll of `the observer`. This will be a temporary state. Naturally there will rise the tendency to act, to move, to work. This time make sure it`s out of positive values.

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7 hours ago, Jan Odvarko said:

Anyone experienced something similar? What would you recommend? Is this some kind of intermediate step which will eventually go away?

Yes, it's just progress. Just keep on digging. You'll naturally come to the point at which the sense of being "put in your current situation" turns into you are manifested "as this situation" and are in inevitable relationship with your environment. From this the sense of separation slowly leaves and it develops a kind of relaxation into every moment you are in and a sense of flow that arises.

But it takes some digging to unveil this. So keep at it. At some point you go through experiences that take away the possibility of not pursing this anyway. :D It's like you climbed a hill for some time and behind it you see a city of gold and you are coming from the slums. You never go back there. 

Edited by Arik

They want reality, so I give 'em a fatal dosage.

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@Jan Odvarko Yes this lack of motivation will eventually subside. Be careful not to force things though, this state will disappear of itself, any action to make it vanish will be egoic based. I sense a subtle suffering of not suffering in your text. Rather embrace your current state of uninvolvement and unexcitement until there is no problems left.

 

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