Psilocybin trip report

[Cocolove]

(This story is about a friend of a friend, just using first person so it makes sense)

cough

This is my first trip since around 8 months ago. Tripping is what got me to actually be able to start and maintain a practice of meditation then(around 8 months ago), and after that I decided to focus on that for a while. 

I set the intentions of getting insight into Life purpose and my sadhana, and also answering the what am I question.

I took 3 grams and used this recipe 

I felt way less nauseous than usual, and the come up was very fast.

I spent some time thinking about life purpose, and money. I felt like I had a really deep understanding of how the economy works, in the sense of people exchange value for money, meaning I have to create value, it really clicked. 

Then I started doing self inquiry and for like two hours I was launched into this egoless state of mind. There were no thoughts about myself during it. I didn't know what the world was or what was going on, I just layed there taking it all in. I'm not sure if it was pleasant though, I really can't remember. Once I came back I realized I had been gone, and I was just thinking and saying what the hell, oh my god. 

After I came down I had a huge ego backlash. I sat around for a few hours just being mindful as waves of bad feelings went through my body. Then I went and watched random videos on youtube for 2 hours. Then I was like, nah bro, let's go back and have a mindful ego backlash, and I did that for a few hours then went to bed. 

I expected to wake up this morning still having an ego backlash, as this has happened before, but for some weird reason I feel normal this morning. I did yoga with little resistance, I don't feel drawn to unconscious stuff. I don't feel super motivated either though. I feel really drained of vigor, like I just ran a marathon yesterday and I need to chill out. 

I might do this again before summer is over since I won't have an opportunity during the school year. 

I should also mention that I've had nightmares about a traumatic event the past two or three nights, I think it was brought up by shamanic breathing on friday, and I bet tripping had a similar effect. I think I feel a little better about it. I usually have nightmares about it every few weeks, which is much better than the multiple times a week it used to be. 

 

Edited August 19, 2019 by Cocolove

[bensenbiz]

thanks for sharing. I love the fact that u got back in to this state of „ego backslash“ and confronted what ever came up. Because our pretty first reaction is to distract ourself from these states  but this is the ultimate way to get stucked - somehow its something that we always did in our life - so whatever came up on a trip we should accept it  - seems like u are pretty far on your journey - best wishes. 

[Cocolove]

52 minutes ago, bensenbiz said:

 - seems like u are pretty far on your journey - best wishes. 

^ I'm a total noob.

Yea, I think Leo's ego backlash video is one of the most important things to keep in mind.