Negative thoughts seem important: can't let go

[DawnOfReality]

Hello,

lately I noticed that most of my negative mental patterns (I think A LOT and can't really seem to stop at times) are related to these fundamental belief that negative thoughts or behaviours are important for me in some fundamental way which I can't really understand for the most parts. 

For example: 

Being a student, managing mental health is important in my life, and a must-do. This should mean, in my understanding, being relaxed, keep calm when exams dates approach and especially being collected during the tests to ensure that all goes well. 
BUT
 my mind keeps telling me and convincing me that stress (which drove me to insanity one month ago, to the point that I collpased and even cried in desperation and hopelessness) is good and I must not completely let go of thoughts that tell me that exams might go badly, or that time is ticking and I must hurry, that stress is good for some reasons (this last one probably due to the fact that I've always been told that some stress or fear can increase peformance.. although my stress levels are at a point which make me perform rather poorly, but despite that I cannot let go!). All that even though I know that being calm and tranquil make me think clearer and recall information better, performing better overall. 

I think I found the cause of all that (which extends also to other aspects of my life): I believe that if you don't experience bad things as well, you are missing something in life, you are giving up some possible experiences that make your life fuller. Evidently I don't want to let go of drama: I understood this but I don't know how to get rid of this crippling belief. 

Could you help me? 

Thank you 

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, DawnOfReality said:

Hello,

lately I noticed that most of my negative mental patterns

They’re thoughts - one at a time linear stream of thoughts arising. They are not ‘yours’. Claiming them as something that belongs to you, makes it hard to see what you are expressing in this post you want to see. 

(I think A LOT

Notice, technically, you don’t think. There’s no action involved, you do ‘do anything’ to produce thoughts. The issue at hand is you are claiming that “you think”. This is not the case. 

and can't really seem to stop at times)

The thing to stop, really, is claiming that you are doing thinking, and that the thoughts are “yours”. 

are related to these fundamental belief that negative thoughts or behaviours are important for me in some fundamental way which I can't really understand for the most parts. 

It’s because they’re not yours, not you, and not important. Getting feeling better is ultimately what matters - not revolving thoughts with adding even more thoughts. 

For example: 

Being a student,

You are awareness, aware of; thoughts passing, sensations passing, perceptions passing. You are not “a student”. Careful with identifying. A thought “I am a student” is not true. It’s just a thought, comes & goes. 

managing mental health is important in my life, and a must-do. This should mean, in my understanding, being relaxed, keep calm when exams dates approach and especially being collected during the tests to ensure that all goes well. 
BUT
 my mind keeps telling me and convincing me that stress (which drove me to insanity one month ago, to the point that I collpased and even cried in desperation and hopelessness) is good and I must not completely let go of thoughts that tell me that exams might go badly, or that time is ticking and I must hurry, that stress is good for some reasons (this last one probably due to the fact that I've always been told that some stress or fear can increase peformance.. although my stress levels are at a point which make me perform rather poorly, but despite that I cannot let go!). All that even though I know that being calm and tranquil make me think clearer and recall information better, performing better overall. 

YouTube Abraham Hicks & “contrast”. Spend some time listening. Sounds like you are in between old thought patterns resulting in stress, and new perspectives will lead to both being much happier and getting a lot more ‘done’. (Getting out of one’s own way, essentially)

I think I found the cause of all that (which extends also to other aspects of my life): I believe that if you don't experience bad things as well, you are missing something in life, you are giving up some possible experiences that make your life fuller. Evidently I don't want to let go of drama: I understood this but I don't know how to get rid of this crippling belief. 

Essentially, you haven’t realized there are not good & bad experiences. Each of us, via identifying, employ the duality of good & bad. It’s in perspective, via attachment to an identity - “good & bad” are not actually in what we are perceiving. 

Could you help me? 

 

Thank you 

 

[Truth Addict]

Work in baby-steps. One by one. Slow and steady wins the race.

Avoid multi-tasking. Avoid unnecessary distractions. Avoid negative people.

Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

[Commodent]

You need to take a leap of faith and trust that you don't actually need these neuroses. Think of something enjoyable instead. Notice that it's really hard, but do it anyway. And then, after a couple of weeks / months of doing this, you will know if it worked. Again, you must take a leap of faith, as your neuroses will give you thousands of reasons to not do this.

[DawnOfReality]

Thank you all for your replies.

The response of @Nahm is certainly very deep and something I must humbly say that I still did not get to the point of understanding it fully.

11 hours ago, Commodent said:

You need to take a leap of faith and trust that you don't actually need these neuroses. Think of something enjoyable instead. Notice that it's really hard, but do it anyway. And then, after a couple of weeks / months of doing this, you will know if it worked. Again, you must take a leap of faith, as your neuroses will give you thousands of reasons to not do this.

I thought about this leap of faith, and even rationally, when thinking of all the good reasons to stay relaxed and calm instead of stressing out... It doesn't click. As you say, even without telling me why, this neuroses is preventing me from taking the leap. 

Maybe I should do some visualizations or affirmations to make my mind see that being free of negative thoughts will be beneficial in all possible ways? 

[Commodent]

@DawnOfReality You could try repeating an affirmation every time you notice yourself stressing. Like "I make better decisions when I'm relaxed and at ease with what is". I literally cured my insomnia by repeating "whatever you resist persists" over and over every time I could feel the resistance and stress coming. That might just be because it put my mind on something else, however. Which brings me to my second point:

I would advice you against focusing on stress, negative thinking, neuroses etc. In general you would like to cultivate the things you would like more of, and NOT focus on whatever you would like to minimize. Because just by focusing on it, even with the intetion of removing it, you are making it more present within your state of mind. This is neuroplasticity 101. You need to litterally forget your problems. You might wonder, if I don't think about them then how am I going to solve them? Now this is where the leap of faith comes in. Can I think of something enjoyable right NOW?

When you feel stressed, just let yourself be stressed. You might crash and burn a few times, but that will only increase your awareness of what is going on and what is triggering it. And as you might have heard before, awareness alone is curative. Notice what is going on, and let the subconscious do the work. Notice that this requires a great deal of trust.

[DawnOfReality]

Thank you, this answer helped and will help me a great deal. I'll try and come back if I'll feel I need some more advice 

[Litaken]

We only see the world relative, but it's more than that. you see yourself a droid relative to someone with an easier life. but you are the god relative to an ant. Find the things you are a god related/relative to, either way  I hope you find it's everything Don't underestimate yourself! Negativities always have bad thinking habits behind them. See you might not have a good relation to reality, and you are in your head instead. If so, first accept now, and then love it,  in that order. Don't think, observe! Focus on what you can do now, instead of what you couldn't do somewhen. Your closest relation to reality is: NOW. I bet there is yet another thing you don't know you can feel in your body, try to stretch the longest rope in your body and scan it for any feelings your didn't notice before.

There is a very good sentence to rid negative thoughts: Okay, but do I need to think of it NOW? You can free your mind of thoughts if you understand this  The more you practice the more you will be able to listen to reality instead of talking into it

Edited August 23, 2019 by Litaken

[Raptorsin7]

Hey, I recommend trying to cultivate more positive habits like and meditation, rather than trying to focus on actively removing the negative thoughts. I think whatever habit patterns you are engaged in right now, whether you're aware of this or not, are contributing to your negative thoughts. If you can change your habits/physical circumstances then you may be more successful in removing the negative thoughts. 

 This video really helped me overcome similar negative thinking patterns, and I think if you can really internalize and act on this advice it will make a huge difference. Keep looking for solutions, eventually you will move past this. Good luck man.