2 years trying to be on no fap but too addicted to porn

[ChrisZoZo]

2 years trying to be on no fap but too addicted to porn. Any help? 

[Nahm]

You know, if you weren’t distracting yourself, you’d be focused on what you want. 

But when you begin to want, you feel uncomfortable sensations, fear, self doubt.

So, you go to the distraction.

But, if you inspected the sensations, wrote about them, begin to understand sensations - clarity arises, great feelings, relief, release. 

Don’t procrastinate. Inspect. 

Trying to ‘not do something’ is exactly the same as doing it. 

Try ‘not thinking’ of a blue pick up truck next to a red barn.

See?

Tat’s precisely what you are now thinking of.

You must, you must, you must - choose to think about what you want. You must allow the release of sensations, so that your entire body and mind may fill with sensation, inspiration, and so life becomes effortless, inspired. 

You are not what you think of yourself - EVER. 

Get a dry erase board and a couple boxes of tissue.

Let’s get living. 

Let’s get experiencing, and understanding, forgiveness, acceptance. 

Self. 

When you let all this attachment to the past go - and you catch even a teeny tiny micro glimpse of you who you really are - you’ll probably shit. Are you hearing what I’m saying man? You’re wonderful. Let go!

[Rilles]

What are you not adressing with your porn addiction distraction?

[ChrisZoZo]

@Nahm @Rilles  thank you guys. so let me get this right you want me to feel in to my cravings and emotions when craving arise not to ignore them? Wright them down, try to understand them. 

I do live life because I can walk everyday to amazing parks and turn my mind off and just be in aw at the beautiful planet we live on. I love every part off me 100% I forgive myself for going on it and accept it happeneds.  

Ok i will try this but i think is far from the point. I would say it more like this a voice rationalises why i should go to porn when craving arises then something clicks and what ever i do i am just acing out what i would do to not go on the porn but its all pointless because i will go to it. I have tried to really understand the emotions, I really have but it dose not seem to work.     

Also i have done leo's awareness alone is curative like 60 times and it dose not work.

So any things else to add? I think there  is something i am doing wrong, something i am being willfully ignorant off but i not sure what it is although i will try what you guys have said.

[Rigel]

What do you want out of life?

Is this behaviour conducive to it?

If not then why do you do it?

What are you running away from?

A little hint: inquire into what is most threatening to you. Fear is not your enemy it is your guide.

[Deepconcepts]

What are you really trying to accomplish here? I think nofap PMO is a great way to enhance your sex life, but it sounds like you don't have one. Not trying to put you down, but take care of yourself and stop being so serious with yourself.

I've gone a real long time doing this and honestly, nofap+singlelife in hope's to get a girlfriend.... is pure deflection. It's you who is responsible to be social, out-going and find a good partner. There is no specific universal strategy, and I honestly think you're wasting your time here, you can better spend it other ways. I've made worse decisions with who I've gone out with while on Nofap+PMO. You don't want to develop an unhealthy porn habit or fetish, get involved with women who are bad news, married, diseased, addicts etc.

It all comes down to moderation, If you remember what ego backlash is, this is a real possibility and it can negatively impact you in several ways. 

Exercise that gut muscle, be bold, get uncomfortable and not take life too seriously. That one sentence is what i think people try convincing themselves with nofap. It's a waste of time, re-read that, pull off that nofap bandaid and take immediate action. 

Edited August 20, 2019 by Deepconcepts