The Realization

[Extreme Z7]

This was actually my actualization journal entry for today but I thought that this particular entry was one I wanted to share to people outside of my journal. It is about a realization I had about human happiness from a recent meditation session. Feel free to read and let me know what you think. I'll be glad to read your thoughts.  

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<05-06-16>
The Realization

I've mentioned in this journal before about how I stumbled upon Actualized.org and how my life made an almost 180 degree turn that day. It was when I suddenly had an existential panic out of nowhere. Looking back, it was probably the first time I faced "The Void". The existential emptiness we all have and some fear within our being. That day, I accidentally came in contact with it because of constant isolation from a video game addiction and to date is the scariest experience I've ever encountered. Out of desperation, I searched the internet for answers to rid of the terrible emotions I felt. Read a few articles, tried doing a 5-minute meditation session because one article told me to give it a try, nothing worked. Then I decided to head to YouTube and actually search "What is Happiness?". Then one of Leo's videos came up and I never took a step backward from my search for happiness since then.

Like most other people who maintain a daily meditation habit, you start to get mind-blowing realizations if you've been doing it for a really long time. This particular realization relates to why most people don't feel happy if not miserable for most of the day and for most of their life. This was a realization based on what I noticed about my psychology when I was staying in awareness while meditating.

The realization I had relates to psychology, not as mind-blowing as a realization about existence but their still pretty incredible. Basically, the reason why its hard for people to be happy is because desires that manifest themselves in one's imagination corrupt the present moment. What kind of desire am I talking about? The kind where you are imagining happy feelings being caused by something in the future. These imaginations arise out of nowhere and against one's will. And here's the real kicker, the main reason why this makes one unhappy is because the mind subconsciously labels the present moment as unsatisfying thereby making us more motivated to pursue said desire. The imagination part itself is not inherently bad, it's the almost unconscious labeling of the present moment as something that needs to be different.

Here's a small example:
Let's say your doing some work or engaging in a hobby and your feeling pretty immersed in it. Then you suddenly notice a feeling of hunger. Let's say you have a good enough awareness to notice that mental movie plays with you experiencing eating some delicious ice cream and you imagine yourself to be happy at that moment. Notice that you may or may not be actually happy in reality, yet you likely are in the mental movie. Now if you have a really high level of awareness, you may notice that in reality, you're actually slightly less happy after the imagination arose than before it did. This is because you have subconsciously labeled the imagination as a "happy moment" and subconsciously label the present as "just not the same as the moment playing in my head". Because if you were to label the present as a "happy moment", what would be the point of pursuing the dream in the first place right?

Obviously, that's just a small example involving food but you can replace the variables in it with whatever you can relate with. Still, I believe for almost of us, this really does happen when it comes to food. The reason why I find this realization very significant is a personal reason. I believe this the first "real" step I've found on my search for the staircase to happiness. This is the first time I've ever experienced and actual growth in my happiness level. Just with this one psychological realization, I've noticed an small increase in my base level of happiness or "good feelings" or whatever you want to call it. Not only that! But I feel less selfish and less ego-driven which I personally think is more significant. Because by definition, being less affected to desire is against one's self-agenda.

I came across some homeless kids on the street on my way to school after the meditation session. I decided to give them most of the change I had in my pocket. Not something I usually do. (Although to be fair, they were the ones who came to me for money, XD) But still, I started to feel subtle changes in my feelings towards life as I did that. I think I'm slowly transitioning from Stage Orange to Stage Green (look up Claire Graves Model if you don't know what I'm talking about). Leo talked about the transition comes from a realization that materialism or attraction to the external will never bring you happiness. I feel like I'm just now seeing the truth in that.

Now, don't mistakenly think that I've reached true happiness or even that I've reached a high level of happiness. I'm still feel pretty unsatisfied and unhappy with my life overall. It's just that I feel like I have a much clearer idea of the decisions I need to make life in order to reach more a fulfilling life. This is the first time I've felt like I "know" what I have to do to be happy. Before this, I felt like I was lost, very lost.

Thank you for reading and have a nice day    - EZ7

 

 

[askdfjnak]

If you relegate happiness to the future, you will only know pursuit.

[Extreme Z7]

@Mutupo That's why most people only know of the pursuit of happiness but not happiness itself.

[cetus]

@Extreme Z7 Consciousness dancing with existence is the most beautiful experience imaginable. It is beyond happiness.

[Fishy]

Nice, I really enjoyed your text. 

[Extreme Z7]

@Fishy Thank you