Moved to Nevada to Start Over

[UNZARI]

ever since i could remember i’ve been very depressed/suicidal periodically . i love them to death but my parents are very materialistic and emotionally immature. my dad blames every problem in his life on me and my mom, he would verbally and physically abuse me. my mom would just kinda ignore me when i try to talk about it. they labeled me with a mental illness and did the whole pill thing, even though i was greatful i felt like it was full of shit.

my senior year of high school i had enough. i felt suicidal, alone, numb, disconnected. i hate the quiet lonely suburbs where i don’t have a real functioning family. so long story short i drove myself out of california and moved into an unfinished house in the middle of nowhere in nevada with my girlfriend and her family. i now work on a ranch where as before i was too depressed to work. i sleep in a tent each night and take care of 6 dogs. I LOVE MY LIFE. life is meant to be challenging, it humbles you. i have no air conditioning, no running water, i get food from food stamps but i am greatful now for everything. i am much more robust and thicker. my girlfriends family is very laidback and loving we all get along. it feels like a real family.

[Apparition of Jack]

Good to hear you managed to get out of a toxic situation with your family man. I dunno how open you are to the idea, but now that you're away from their controlling influence, maybe you could start doing some compassion practices directed towards them? It might seem pointless or whatever but you might find that cultivating forgiveness and compassion for people who hurt you, even if you do already love them, will help you grow more and learn from their mistakes (as well as your own in the future.) Maybe this idea won't resonate with you but my gut told me to suggest it.

Other than that, don't give up dude, take each day as it comes, be grateful for all the little things you have, always ask for help when you need it, look after your girlfriend, eat healthy, you know all the usual advice stuff You've got a good heart despite all you've been through, and you've got your whole life ahead of you to grow and bring peace to this world. Namaste.

[Eden]

<3 wow. thats almost what happeneded to me too. I moved out early as well. My Russian opinionated entitled family and my neurotic stressed out victim Israeli family. Had ENOUGH of it. But you know, it took us two whole years to gain our trust, respect, compassion, love and forgiveness back. Don't think about the time though. True families stick around because they truly love each other. <3 Good luck.

[PretentiousHuman]

You can do it, Man. I have a toxic parents too sometimes. But i forgive them every time they destroy my peace. I live with them still but have the plan of getting to USA someday to work and have a family there. Be present in the moment always and you will be in the right place no matter what. More powers to you always. ??