God, infinitly silly jester- biggest awekening yet on 4-HO-MIPT

[adztam]

    I'm silent on this forum and I'm only observing discussions for something about 4 years and this is my first post. I write because I have to share with you all this trip-raport and my insights, because of how this awakening was significant to me.  Recently I got my biggest awekening yet on 50mg of 4-HO-MIPT, which is legal in most countries in Europe. I've got my awekening experiences before on changa (smokable version of DMT), psilocibine, 2CB, holotrophic breathing and even marijuanna ( I'm highly psychoactive person and I use it for meditation purpose, maybe I will write about it later). Even thou my previous awekenings where profound, there where mostly about my place in the world and me as the the ultimate infinite being. This time it was all about the main property of God which I found is not love - it's clownery. 
    

GOAL, SET & SETTING, SUBSTANCE PROPERTIES

    My main goal of taking 4-HO-MIPT, which I used to take before, but mostly for social reason (its really fun and joyful substance on low doses 10-20 mg), was to check spiritual potential of this drug, which seems to me like a good tool for inner work, beacuse it's cheap and easily accessible in my country. I also wanted to experiance ultimate love and "INFINITE LOVE"  was my most focused thought when i was taking the substance. I take it orally, alone in closed room with closed and covered windows without music. It kicks in very fast - I got peak after 30 min, which lasts about 2-3 hours. The body load is terrible, it's the main downside of this drug - not comparable with any other psychodelic I used to take. The trip takes about 6-8 hours, and feeling is the same as on the psylocibine, but you don't fell that much connection with the nature or some high spirits like I used to feel on mushrooms. Since my last shamanic breathing retreat, which last week I start experience the presence of so-called mechanic elves on almost every spiritual activity, for some reasons it feel like some being and whole reality itself starts observing me on my spiritual work. Even when im writing this I have exact same feeling of some presence near me - hellow guys (I will write my current thoughst about this entities later).

TRIP 

    After it kick's in I could barerly move and had to close my eyes, because the visual where so intencive. I cannot even concentrate on my goal of this trip - experiencing the ultimate love. I start noticing tension in my spine and shoulders - it's hard to categorize this feeling, which I had when I'm excited and have burst of power to do something or when I should do something but cause of my neurotic procrastination I don't do - then the feeling is the same like on highly stress situation and sometimes I have even suicidal thoughst because of feeling of hopelessness. The feeling where terrible and I really wanted end this trip no matter of costs. At some point I started not feeling differance between my feelings, thougst and what I saw with eyes closed and open. Only things I saw when I got the clarity of vision where those badass big faces with eyes everywhere like on Alex Grey paintings. I heard multiple voices everywhere, laughs and what terrified me the most - the sound I remember from taking DMT, something like jumbojet starting in your head. The visuals from psylocibine organic something like living flesh structure type, which I had at the beginning of trip, transform to DMT type, which is for me like aztec/mayan multidimension art looking like million geometric mechanic snakes entwining my room. Then I feelt like this feeling in my back snapped, which was so fucking ecstatic I start rolling on my bed and from other person perspective it could looked like I was in great pain but it was such a great pleasure for me. After that I propably had something like few minutes blackout after, which I remebered seeing structure like blooming mechanic flower, and hearing the unspeakable story of god creating it self. And... dude, kill me pls  
   

CLIMAX & INSIGHT

    I heard the main reason of God creating reality -  it was like one of those silly jokes, which takes soooo loooooong to tell and point of it is so fucking stupid, you want to kill person who tell you this, for wasting your time. But in this case it's telling yourself as God joke soo long for billions of years, you forget the "funny" part of it, which is everything is not what it is and suddenly you catch the joke you was telling yourself. It's something like kids having fun of you by telling you that dog eat your last cookie, but you don't understand it and after few days you get they where making fun you, just for sake of laughing at you for beliving them. It's like you telling yourself longest and most unfunny joke ever, which is at the same time soo funny becouse of it's silliness. I was laughing continuously till the end of trip (4-6 hours). I still have moments of random laughter attack. I forget the essance of this joke, which is unspekable, which makes it even more funny, because you just can't say it and even if you try it's so hard to understand this joke. God is silly jester, which is telling himself the same joke, infinitly for eternity. And facture of universe is love, which is like the story in this joke. And that's a total shift in my perspective of spirituality. Reality is joke, enlighten one are the ones who get the joke, you no more fear death cause you want it, beacuse you again got pranked by yourself, and you feel soo silly and stupid after this (I remeber I was laughting so hard and yelling at me "Oh you the Oldest Prick! Kill me, I don't want too hear it again you infinitly dum dum! I won't be fooled again!... oh wait I will xD". And God is jester pranking it self infinitly ! What about this filling of presence of other entities - now for me it's like the God it self divide himself in non material beings, to guide and watch himself getting pranked and having laught of himself. In more materialistic type of thinking it could be mental/language/thought virus, which help's your brain understand why in higher conscious state, you see all as full of life and clownery (but these are only my loose thoughst). And that's all for me is even more radical perspective, then thinking that all is love - holocauste and war was for joke, jesus died on cross soo you can understand the joke, all spiritual work is about understanding and getting the joke. And you are the joke - you infinitly silly prankster

That's it. I'm comming back to work on my foolery, to ultimately get the joke. I hope to get to know other crazy properties of God soon

[Leo Gura]

Some psychedelics make one very humorous. I get that on mushrooms mostly.

[AlldayLoop]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Some psychedelics make one very humorous. I get that on mushrooms mostly.

Video proof or it never happened  

[Leo Gura]

Then again, mushrooms can be deadly serious.

[cetus]

2 hours ago, adztam said:

I heard the main reason of God creating reality -  it was like one of those silly jokes, which takes soooo loooooong to tell and point of it is so fucking stupid, you want to kill person who tell you this, for wasting your time.

@adztam Did you hear the one about the guy who was walking along the outer wall of a mental asylum? From behind the wall he could hear the patiants chanting 11 - 11 - 11 .....  As he continued along the wall he got closer to where the chanting was coming from and wondered why in the world are they were chanting 11 -11 -11 -11.........

Finially he came upon a hole in the wall and he couldn't resist but to look through to see what the chanting was about.

As he peeked through to see what was happening he was suddenly poked in the eye with a stick. As he walked away in pain from his injured eye he heard them chanting  12 - 12 - 12 - 12............. 

[adztam]

@cetus56

Hahaha  Yeah, it was pretty something like that  

@Leo Gura
Oh yes! I notice it also on mushrooms and on lower doses of 4-HO-MIPT. But this time I felt and could appreciate, how much effort God put into this joke and how much infinitly smart you need to be, to fool yourself when you are infinitly intelligent.



 

[Gili Trawangan]

My awakening on LSD definitely had this joke-like realization, I laughed myself silly for quite a while

[AlldayLoop]

2 hours ago, adztam said:

I've got my awekening experiences before on changa (smokable version of DMT), psilocibine, 2CB, holotrophic breathing and even marijuanna ( I'm highly psychoactive person and I use it for meditation purpose, maybe I will write about it later).

Yeah, I’d love to hear your story with the marijuana. I’ve had some insights on it so it’d be interesting to hear what you discovered as well. 

[Girzo]

I have been laughing during 4-HO-MiPT breakthrough, too.

[Nahm]

@adztam Yes!

[Joker_Theory]

I can see myself laughing at myself, if i am God when i think i am going die when someone with a mask scares the shit out of me when i am a sleep or when i am so anxious around people that i look like a idiot when i make a fool of myself infront of others. Not funny in the moment but i laugh at myself sometimes lolll.

What a joke.

Edited August 16, 2019 by Joker_Theory

[Mason Riggle]

"I discuss a point of view, the jokers point of view, from which not only our social institutions, but also all the formations of the natural world are seen as games.

Be careful of the word game. It does not mean as trivialities, because when we say it is just a game this often means it is just trivial. There can be important games, as when we play the piano or musical instrument we are not necessarily doing something frivolus, but we are playing, and there is something in the nature of all play that is not serious, but at the same time might be sincere and I try to give you the picture of the multiplicity of natural forms on the one hand, and of human social institutions and all the things we do and consider important and busy ourselves with as human beings. I try to give you the point of view from which these can be seen as games. As things being done as it was simply for themselves, and not for some ulterior motive, and therefore these games are in a way best played when they are played as games.

Although it is really alright that people take them seriously, except that they are a little bit deprived, they are missing something. And so, when the joker sees a person taking his life seriously and regarding himself as extremely important there is something funny about it and he is inclined to get the giggles.

He knows that the very intensity of seriousness with which the individuals concerned are taking these games will be a kind of foil for the subsequent bursting into laughter when he sees that it was not serious after all. You see that? You might say that there are these two classes of people.

There are the very far out people and the very far in people.
Now, ordinary we say that someone is very far out when they are odd balls, when they are exceedingly unconventional.
But, I want you to turn the picture around and look at the conventional person, look at the square, as a person that is very far out.
That is to say he is so involved in the seriousness of the game he is playing that he is lost.
He does not know where he started from and he think is there, ha, ha, ha, ha.
But he is completely lost.
Because he is actually under the cover of his assurance, of his status, of his position in the society. He is really a very anxious person.
Our society shows anxiety because it cannot permit the existence of people who do not belong.
And it cannot really permit the criticism of laughter.
It cannot permit the presence of the old fashion court jester.
Because these people are so far out.
They are so involved and from a certain standpoint, from the jokers standpoint.
He does not condemn such people, he rather congratulates them on their heroism for getting so lost and involved.
But to keep the far out people of going quite insane there have to be far in people and the far in people are those who keep contact with the original goings on behind the scene.
They are like the prompter in the theatre where there are the actors out on the stage relying on their memory etc. and they are supposed to be completely involved in the game.
But there is a concealed prompter with a script in front of him and he is the connection of the actor on the stage with the green room behind the stage."

-Alan Watts

[Aeris]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Some psychedelics make one very humorous. I get that on mushrooms mostly.

Me too I just become a total jestering troll. And dance music catch you like a trap for body.

Try not dance on edm while on psychedelics. Too hard for me

[peanutspathtotruth]

15 hours ago, adztam said:

I heard the main reason of God creating reality -  it was like one of those silly jokes, which takes soooo loooooong to tell and point of it is so fucking stupid, you want to kill person who tell you this, for wasting your time. But in this case it's telling yourself as God joke soo long for billions of years, you forget the "funny" part of it, which is everything is not what it is and suddenly you catch the joke you was telling yourself. 

Hahaha damn, that throws me back to the same exact insight on a recent LSD trip. I never laughed so hard, was literally rolling on the floor laughing about the trickery and the stupidness of it. Thank you for sharing, really got me laughing again  It's funny when you see spiritual teachers after such an insight, they are just God having understood the joke fully. It's hilarious! And beautiful

Never forget the fun of this whole journey