Sex with your ex, yes or no?

[mandyjw]

Connection with others is our nature, whether sex is involved or not. Because sex is the most powerful physical and emotional connection you can have, there is a lot of disconnecting we do in order to get what we want or need and protect ourselves emotionally for it. We try to disconnect the physical from the emotional to become bulletproof. The more disconnection you engage in, the more work you have to do to reverse it and become connected spiritually with yourself. So which direction do you want to move in? 

[Natasha]

12 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

Are you sure about these information Mrs.Natasha?  the biology is to some extend true but the masculine energy is totally off-base! 

That's because of one thing: women have been labeled significantly by the society if they would express they sexual emotions freely all the time even you can see this in the modern countries. so women have chosen subconsciously not to do it directly because they'd think that if they do it without any initial love, they'd be called "bitch" by the society and the people around them. a woman can't exceed her biological program for sure, but definitely she is able to remove the social conditioning programs. 

 

We just don't have the testosterone levels you guys have. And once the man and nest are in place, most women lose interest in sex altogether, because their focus and energy now goes to her wiring as a nurturer of her baby chicks. That's why a lot of married men either live in perpetual sexual desperation and remain loyal to their woman, or turn to affairs. 

Ask some married men around, they'll tell you.

[hamedsf]

40 minutes ago, Natasha said:

We just don't have the testosterone levels you guys have. And once the man and nest are in place, most women lose interest in sex altogether, because their focus and energy now goes to her wiring as a nurturer of her baby chicks. That's why a lot of married men either live in perpetual sexual desperation and remain loyal to their woman, or turn to affairs. 

Ask some married men around, they'll tell you.

Yes, you're right! 

after babies, the sexual fire between two partners become extinct. that has numerous factors in it. 

but a man should be able to skillfully handle this issue and not let the fire die down. 

although the issue boils down both to man and woman, but for the most part : man!

conversely, I've seen couples who have been in the same sexual energy together just like before they had babies! 

Edited August 19, 2019 by hamedsf

[Natasha]

3 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

Yes, you're right! 

after babies, the sexual fire between two partners become extinct. that has numerous factors in it. 

but a man should be able to skillfully handle this issue and not let the fire die down. 

although the issue boils down both to man and woman, but for the most part : man!

Yes, a man would have to continually (and I mean the rest of their life together) romance a woman to have her want to reciprocate sexually. For women sex is emotional thing first, physical second. Male and female are two very different kinds of wiring. John Gray's 'Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus' talks about all these differences in detail. Highly recommend for those who want to understand how the opposite sex works. 

[Key Elements]

@Natasha you're right. We are wired this way, but paradoxically, we're not--only our egos, but not if we transcend the ego. 

[Natasha]

2 minutes ago, Key Elements said:

@Natasha you're right. We are wired this way, but paradoxically, we're not--only our egos, but not if we transcend the ego. 

Yes, and answering the OP's question then would depend on if his ex GF has transcended her ego. He didn't mention whether she's awakened or not.

[pluto]

Big NO because sex creates energetic cords that will create attachment for most people that can take months to remove all over again. I did this mistake once with my ex. I was almost completely detached to her, my life was starting to become alive and free again then we ended up having sex again and after that i felt attached to her and energetically restrained again for few months until i could feel free again.

[possibilities]

It really depends on the level of development of the people, their personality profile and the purpose behind the endeavour. Maybe it’s to save mankind, in which case it might not matter how developed they are or how different their personalities may be, they should probably do it.

Edited August 21, 2019 by possibilities

[Marah]

The perspective of a girl who had sex with her ex:

We started our relationship wanting to create something meaningful, sharing affection, spending quality time developping intimacy. However, none of us had very strong feelings and we were both still affected by our previous long-term relationships.

Our worldviews were too distict, we were not growing as a couple and what kept us together was mostly an illusion, so we broke up. A few months later, being both single and horny and and still physically attracted to one another, we started seeing eachother as ”exes with benefits”. We had a talk before, aknowledging that this was just a way of consolating eachother after some deceptions and a way of coping with our loneliness and cravings.

For me it was ok at the beginning, I didn't feel prepared to commit with someone new and I also did not want to have one night stands with random guys- too meaningless and emotionally draining. Since this was consensual and we both knew nobody's feelings would get hurt, it worked out; we were already intimate and affectionate with eachother and none of us was in love/infatuated.

I later stopped this arrangement; it seemed pointless, like a masturbation in two...a bit degrading using somebody just for sex, a person that I did not admire and with whom I disagreed on many levels. Sure, we can talk, but sex and intimacy in my view are more profound and can be awe-generating  experiences when shared with someone with whom one has a real connection.

I am far from being in the situation of giving advice, but as a conclusion, it is important to realize why do you want this, is it something that would make a real difference in your life or you could live without it? Then, make sure you state your intentions clearly to the other person so that you won't create the illusion/the promise of becoming something more, otherwise one of you might get hurt. Are you still attached to your ex? This could lead to pain- maybe you think it is just sex, but unconsciously you wish for a relationship.

Morality and how men and women are supposed to be built are constrainig filters to this talk; and yes, it is something that depends on our beliefs(about love, sex, attachement, frienship, selfishness, hedonism, etc,), our experiences, emotions, dynamics between us.

Contemplation is a great tool in this situation

[Wlangr]

On 2019-08-16 at 0:23 AM, Natasha said:

That's not how women work. We release powerful bonding chemicals during sex, so she'll start getting attached all over again. So like I said, let her be. You'd be only creating more pain for her.

Somehow I knew this was true but didn't "see" it until now. Thank you for the shift in perspective. 

[Natasha]

50 minutes ago, Wlangr said:

Somehow I knew this was true but didn't "see" it until now. Thank you for the shift in perspective. 

You're welcome

[whoareyou]

@Natasha How would you explain polyamorous relationships then?

[Natasha]

16 minutes ago, whoareyou said:

@Natasha How would you explain polyamorous relationships then?

Natural for a guy, not natural for a girl on evolutionary level. That's why polygamy is popular among males (harems, sister-wives in Mormon communities, etc). I'm yet to hear about a woman keeping multiple husbands/lovers just for sex, unless she's after their money or status.

[Gili Trawangan]

7 hours ago, Natasha said:

Natural for a guy, not natural for a girl on evolutionary level. That's why polygamy is popular among males (harems, sister-wives in Mormon communities, etc). I'm yet to hear about a woman keeping multiple husbands/lovers just for sex, unless she's after their money or status.

I have to disagree, these women exist. Granted, you could say that they are somewhat unconscious, but they exist and I've met some of them.

[Natasha]

6 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

I have to disagree, these women exist. Granted, you could say that they are somewhat unconscious, but they exist and I've met some of them.

Yes, but you don't know what their motivation/insecurity is. Their hard wiring has been definitely warped at some point - lack of self-love, daddy issues, raped at young age, etc. That's what unconsciousness is - a person doesn't see/understand what drives their own issues, so they engage in behaviors/mentality that they otherwise wouldn't.

[bejapuskas]

@Natasha  What is your motivation for having only 1 partner?  I have my own ideas, but I like asking people and exploring more you know hahahaha

[Natasha]

9 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Natasha  What is your motivation for having only 1 partner?

Emotional stability. And physical closeness with 1 partner is best vs having to deal with multiple energies at the same time.

[bejapuskas]

@Natasha I see yeh

[Zega]

My personal rule: do NOT go back to your ex

 

I have always found someone better--even when I thought nobody else could top the last one.