I deeply despise my brother

[kindayellow]

I just can't seem to resolve it. I can't pretend to deal with him anymore, he frustrates me so much and infringes on my relaxing time when I get home after work. I'm sorry this isn't well structured I'm still emotional. I find it hard to try and find "the answer" as to why I hate him. He lives in his room, avoiding housework when he only works part time and everyone else works full time. He loudly makes heavy metal music which is incredibly intrusive throughout the house and I just can't relax so I end up just going outside now in the fresh air, but I'd like to be able to meditate in my room without being able to hear his music. What set me off today to just try release my frustration was I was bringing some shopping in, carrying two heavy bags. He was getting some food from the cupboard and was in the way of the kitchen counter, I quickly asked him to move, and he refused until I said please. Which is just ridiculous. So I left the bag on the floor and went upstairs saying stuff to him in frustration. It's just tiny things like that that just really frustrate him. Once we both eventually move out from our parents house, I absolutely would not go out of my way to retain any sort of relationship with him. I can't stand him, and I wish I had an answer, but I'm just having a very hard time trying to resolve anything.

[kindayellow]

@Keyhole We've tried different ways of getting him to help out around the house, he just doesn't seem to care or have any concept of teamwork. I wouldn't say he has ADD or ADHD, typically when I think of that I think of someone outgoing, which he is not. I don't like talking to him about things like asking him to help out or anything about my emotions because he's very defensive and it's just really confrontational. 

[loub]

A bunch of people full of their own deceptions, neurosis, hurt, anger insecurities unfaced trauma, etc. living together is complicated and so most families are dysfunctional, I know mine certainly is, lol.

You seem very understanding and have incorporated an attitude of trying not to judge and of trying to be the bigger man. Beware of upholding such ideals for your own behaviour. The judgement of him that you suppress you will take out on yourself. That's a very green kind of approach.

The yellow approach in this will be something like this: you don't owe your brother any more or less consideration and understanding than yourself.

My advice will be to move out as quickly as possible, focus on your own growth and the contribution you want to make in this world, instead of wasting your mental and creative energy on trying to save your family/brother.

Try and save the world rather than your family. It's , much easier

[universe]

Stop acting like a child and take some responsibility.

Its your ego, it doesnt like the way reality is. Which is absurd.