Meditation journal

[seeking_brilliance]

@mandyjw ok I know what to do: 

I'll stick with the fan meditation for our official morning meditation which I report here on.  At night I will do fifteen minutes concentration practice with an object.  Obviously these will evolve over time. (story of life ?)

I'll watch the video later, at work right now. 

Edited September 14, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[seeking_brilliance]

@mandyjw (ignore tag) 

Sept 16, 2019

Time: 15 minutes

Object of attention : box fan

Husband wanted to go for a walk in the park upon awakening, so meditated after.  Mind chatter was slower, and not all over the place. 75% of it was commentary on how the meditating is going and how I would describe it in here. But constant redirecting attention back to fan. My eyes did several focuses between relaxed and focused, I just let them do their thing but kept the muscles around them relaxed. No dreamlets today because I guess it was later and not still producing Theta waves. 

Edited September 17, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[seeking_brilliance]

I promise I am not trying to do this every other day, but things keep arising. Things will settle back down to normal, as this is only the second week after getting home. My husband has completely exploded into being outgoing so I'm trying to support that- hence why I was out til 2 am last night and had to open this morning. But anyway, I still pledge to meditate everyday, even if it doesn't happen everyday.  (my official meditation reports, I'm still doing my 15 minute concentrations at night) 

Edited September 17, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[seeking_brilliance]

September 17 2019

Time : 15 minutes 

Object of attention : box fan

Probably a bit too sleepy for a good session this morning, coming off of 6.5 - 7 hours of sleep. The dreamlets came in hard and split second quick, to the point of almost dozing off to them, so no interesting ones to report. Typically they are superimposed onto my meditation practice, and I never really feel like I'm dozing off to them..

My timer anxiety is all but gone.  Constant redirecting back to the fan, but definitely not much focused attention. 

[seeking_brilliance]

September 18 2019

Time :15 minutes 

Concentration object : box fan 

About as usual. 

[seeking_brilliance]

September 20 2019 

Time : 15 minutes 

Object of attention : box fan

Lost in thought the whole time.  The king kong lady was yelling something at me from his giant hand. It's too bad I don't have enough time before work to attempt this again because I'm not satisfied.  I might have to try and do a session after work as well, not including my concentration practice before bed. 

 

[seeking_brilliance]

September 21 2019

Time : 15 minutes 

Concentration object : box fan 

Little groggy, but was able to hold attention on fan for longer periods of time... Maybe 7-10 seconds at a time. Saw lots of images, one was an Australian Sheppard.  He was cute.  

[seeking_brilliance]

September 23rd 2019

Time :15 minutes 

Object of attention : rain on tin roof video on youtube

I think I like the rain sound because the randomized sound patterns seem to be easier to hold my attention.  Definitely wasnt perfect though lol. 

Had a practically full color dreamlet of me, my mom, and my husband walking down an old country road with fenced in fields on both sides. We seem to be trying to sober Micheal up a bit, and on the right there was a road which led to a row of cabins. My mom pointed them out and we walked closer and Micheal wanted to go see them.  

Otherwise I do think the rain sounds is holding my attention better. The journey continues ?

[seeking_brilliance]

September 25 2019

Time :15 minutes 

Object of attention :box fan 

Not much time to prepare for this one so went back to box fan.  Very groggy so lots of images and a few dreamlets.  Lots of returning attention back to fan.  Didn't really feel like much of meditation but don't have time to restart. 

 

[seeking_brilliance]

September 26 2019 

Time :15 minutes 

Object of attention : box fan

I've really got to start waking up earlier.... Anyway I do think I held my attention on fan for a good portion. Had a dreamlet about showing someone around London.  Thought about work a little bit.  

[seeking_brilliance]

September 28th 2019

Time : lol

Object of attention : rain on tin roof video on youtube

Well I got about 6 minutes in and was actually doing alright but then got a strong urge to text all my employees with what I termed a silent meeting.  I let them know it's because I'm not good at speaking. We are all friends so they'll understand. It addressed some things that have been bugging me and encouraged teamwork so I'm pretty proud of myself for breaking the ice on some things.  Well worth breaking my practice. I'll try real hard to redo the session when I get home from work. 

[seeking_brilliance]

September 30 2019

Time : 15 minutes 

Object of attention :box fan 

Scattered with dreamlets but I found its nice to sit in the space between these thought stories because it feels more focused and alert. 

Had a vision of pulling my phone out of check the time just as my timer began to actually go off. 

 

[seeking_brilliance]

October 2, 2019

Time :15 minutes 

Object of attention : box fan

Did my meditation before bed this time, as I will probably do for now on. It's just too hard for me to wake up early enough and not be so groggy that I fall into dreams. (Although that's actually pretty fun and will  probably continue as an unofficial meditation or whatever) 

Focus was stronger but was also tired due to the fact that it was after midnight... My usual bedtime is around 10 so obviously I won't meditate this late every time. 

Edited October 4, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[seeking_brilliance]

September 3rd 2019

Time : 15 minutes 

Object of attention : sounds of rain on youtube

Near bedtime again. Even though I was dozing of towards the end (that can be unlearned..) I do feel  like I had not focus to listen to the sounds. 

[DrewNows]

Has this been simple yet effect meditation with concentration/focus? It’s interesting I’ll share a video it made me think about 

this guy has some good wisdom 

[seeking_brilliance]

@DrewNows I still have very low expectations and am just happy about being able to sit still and not have timer anxiety. Thanks for the video I will watch it when I get a chance