Tomek

The Problem Of Reconciling My Business And My Social Life.

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Hey everyone! I'm  new one here.
I have a strange problem. I have a my own business in local small town in my country, which generate me substantial money. I had to create it here, becouse is the better place for it ;) But I lived 5 years in big town, where I have almost all friends, all social life. These two places are far away from each other, and i tried to manage my business from another place, but it was very difficult, and creates a lot of problems. Sometimes in my smaller city i'm bored.  Traveling between that places is tired.
So i have a problem of decision: what to do? I create something and i like to do it, but i feel sometimes almost lonely. It is long way to make passive income from my business.
Perhaps someone is here, who had similar problem and fixed it.

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7 minutes ago, Tomek said:

Hey everyone! I'm  new one here.
I have a strange problem. I have a my own business in local small town in my country, which generate me substantial money. I had to create it here, becouse is the better place for it ;) But I lived 5 years in big town, where I have almost all friends, all social life. These two places are far away from each other, and i tried to manage my business from another place, but it was very difficult, and creates a lot of problems. Sometimes in my smaller city i'm bored.  Traveling between that places is tired.
So i have a problem of decision: what to do? I create something and i like to do it, but i feel sometimes almost lonely. It is long way to make passive income from my business.
Perhaps someone is here, who had similar problem and fixed it.

How important is your business to you, and how important is your little town to you.  What is it about the big city that is pulling at you, the glamour, drama, more social life, loneliness is a state of mind, you only have two choices here, either go to the big city or drop these thoughts about the big city and take care of your business and enjoy your little town,  if you are bored find something where you are to occupy that time that you are bored, give time to helping others if nothing else.  What ever you do will be what is important to you at the time.  If you go to the big city, one day you might wish you had stayed in the small town and took care of your business, without the stresses of big city life.  What is really calling to you from that big city.  Is it worth losing what you have worked for, which place will give you more peace and time to enjoy life.

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People are very important to me. I always tried to around myself the people which are better than me, more create, more valuable than me. I think the people is a reason to be in bigger town.
In smaller town I have difficulties to find someone in my age, who is interesting (and I don't mean girls only). Some demographic dysfunction.
I'm proud to have a business. I thought that gives me independent. But somehow I depend on smaller town.
I'm searching for solution to eat a cookie and have a cookie. 

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@Tomek I'm going to try to help you in your situation but I've got so little it's going to be hard. But nevertheless, let's try.

This might be the Resistance. Maybe your work is something that really matters, it's truly great work. It really does make a change, both in yourself and in the world around you. If that's the case, maybe all your worries are just the Resistance, acknowledge them, move on, do great work.

Or you might have some beliefs about the town you're living in. Things like "I can only do business in this town", and "People in this town aren't to be socialized with", or "I can't do business in any other town because [Insert_excuse_here]".

Or this might simply be the fact that you're not self-reliant enough. I can see that you're about your business or your social life, but why not both ? It's not about those things, it's about you. You came to the outside world to fix a problem of yours, that won't work, your problem stems from your inside world, you need to fix that. Can you afford a coach ? You might need one. Or maybe you can find some book about Psychology, stuff that's deep, stuff like Taming Your Gremlin, by Rick Carson, or the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Or maybe you just need to meditate more, this also really helps with this stuff. Do you meditate ? For how long ? 1 hr/day is recommended, maybe you can start at 30 min/day.

It can be any other reason, my intuition brought me to this, you need to go deeper. you need to go deeper, at some point, the outside world can't help you any more, you need to take responsibility.

Edited by Tancrede Pouyat

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@Tancrede Pouyat  thanks for answer.
I didn't write, that problem is in my world. I discovered that is my mental problem. My own, inside me. I know that. I know too that I can (and perhaps i should) change my opinion about small town, and people living inside it.
I am hungry to get new ideas, even small, sometimes stupid. I used to hear a hundred opinions about something. I like be between people who give my their opinions. "The easiest problem is not your problem". But I take a responsibility about everything in my life. I  hope, that here -place where is a lot of ambitious people- i find someone, who had at least similar problem. I take your advices and are precious for me. The truth is, that i should see more, but I got stuck.

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@Tomek   To have and eat a cookie, one must be willing to make sacrifices that they might not want to make. For instance, you may need to give up capital, to find someone who can take care of your affairs. Additionally, you may find someone in the big city that may be willing and desire a smaller life.  Or, you may find a  business student who has finished their studies that might want to take a break before they enter the "real world" and managing their business could be an opportunity to manage your business.

There are many, many solutions..

Additionally, do you have a plan to create some sort of business in the big city? Or are you so focused on keeping your passive income that you haven't the energy to start creating something new? If you could discover a great opportunity you could find a way to make money doing something you enjoy on a grander scale so that you can drop your previous opportunity. This a " trading your cookie for a better cookie" approach. This may take challenge and sacrifice but if one focuses on the end result, they should be happy.

I would have been in a similar situation that you were in, but fortunately. My mother, who taught me everything I knew about business... was happy to take care of my business for me while I lived in the big city. I then created several different opportunities for myself in the big city so everything ran smoothly for me.  I had to make sacrifices at first, for instance I lived in a house with many people renting, but the rent was only about 200USD total. I may have skipped a meal or two a few timesxD ... but in the end, it was worth it because I got what I want.

I think the secret is having a long-sighted vision.


What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. 

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@Ajax thanks for some ideas. I appreciate your words. Yes, I should work on my long-sighted viosion. I'm still in moment of my life, that i want to have everything, but sometimes it's hard to distinguish priorities.

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Grow the small town into a big city :ph34r: its a win win.

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