Commitment To Self-mastery

[Monkeyfightah]

Hello, my name is Jakub

I am a 19y old dude, I live in germany and am an apprentice as a service technician for an ISP. I became interested into personal development about 3 years ago when I was watching Elliott Hulse's shit which is awesome. Later I found out about RSD and other mentors like Leo and I started to realise that I can achieve great fucking things, that I would offer huge value to the world one day and this feeling never left me since then but I never took action. For the last 2 years I haven't had a girlfriend and was alone alot. I used to feel lonely and I was either playing video-games, binge watching YouTube or Netflix, masturbate way too fucking much  sometimes get drunk & shit. I used to be very fat also. I think I was about 90kg or so when I was 14 then I lost some weight and then I got some back up, thanks to having a foot injury as well which made me just be at home all day for months until I got to 110kg in August 2015. As I saw the number on the scale I decided it's finally time to take action and lose some weight. I became motivated to lose weight and to start doing pick-up. I lost about 5kg in the first week and then I did nothing again. One month later I found a one month programm in the gym and I made it to 2 weeks I think. I  got back down. My self-esteem at this point was very low, I couldn't go out to meet people, I was nervous and anxious af when talking to customers in work and colleges. Somewhere in october I think I started doing intermittent fasting which I don't plan to stop anytime soon  IF has helped me loose weight and get my mind clearer. I was still gaming a lot and pretty much doing nothing purposeful. In the last year I started to learn to be alone. I don't feel lonely anymore, I'm pretty happy being alone but tbh I feel inside me that being extroverted is the way I was ment to be and I always wanted to be in some ways, I grew up with a lot of friends and it was awesome. So, now it's 5. May of 2016 and 2 months ago I started again, but slowly, to develop strong habits. I started doing some easy workouts at home 4 days a week. A week or 2 later I started waking up at 4AM and working out at 6AM or so, today is the 4th week of going to the gym 4 days a week at 4:20 (that 420 was on purpose  ). I build myself a strong habit and I am proud about that. I also lost some weight, I am now at 88kg and still going down. I try to meditate every day but I always forget it or something, not developed a strong habit there yet  I also started taking a Fishoil Supplement a few weeks ago and it really helps me to fight my anxiety and mild depression which are both at minimal levels by now. I was also addicted to porn and masturbation a few months ago which I managed to at least reduce sligthly, now I'm doing NoFap for almost a week now and made myself a commitment to hold it for the whole may and I feel great about that. A few days ago I met up with a friend to do pick-up and I made 10 cold approaches. I noticed also that after these 2 years of being lonely and mildly depressed and trying and failing to ACTUALIZE myself , I don't have such a desire to get laid or to make huge loads of money or whatever, kinda like a lack of selfishness. Ofcourse I am at least somewhat selfish and want money and to fuck, but I much more care about evolving myself, having deep connections with people, and I wanna offer something to the world. I wanna offer my person to all the people I can meet. In order to do that I have to get rid of social conditioning and beliefs I had, start seeing other perspectives and evolve my conciousness. I know that in the first years I'll the doing personal development it will be for me and that at some point I will give myself to this journey putting myself out there for the world.

If you have any questions then just ask me

I'll try to post every week or every few weeks to ACTUALIZE this topic.

I know I am just at the beginning of my journey and that I really did not much yet but this is just the start and I made a commitment to a lifelong study and pursuit of self-mastery.

Thank you very much for reading if you made it this far and I hope you'll come back soon!

 

Jakub

[laki]

And how is it going?