Dealing with crippling confusion, perfectionism and self doubt

[Dan94]

So as the title suggests I'm struggling with some very limiting views in regards to my career, learning and skill building in general. I really, really hope some of you can offer me some perspective and piece of advice.

I have been meditating and doing consciousness work now for approximately 3 years and the more I've done the more obvious my unconscious tendency to ignore or completely leave out material I can't understand or make sense of has become. That discovery has been huge because I see how much it affects all areas in my life and have done ever since I can remember. I get hit with tons of anxiety and uneasiness as Leo describes in his videos and "letting go and accepting" is way way easier said than done.  

To give you an idea of my thinking pattern:

New information --> Confusion (I don't know what x means) --> I should be able to do this now  --> Self doubt (Can I even learn this/ Do I have the necessary tools/information available?) --> Anxiety, stress --> Procrastination --> Depression

This is massive to me, I hope some of you can be of help! Thank you.

With kindness,

Daniel

[Commodent]

You seem to use the presence of confusion as evidence of some inherent flaw. It's a very common way for shame to manifest itself, and it's rooted in deep-seated trauma.

I can recommend "Healing the Shame that Binds You" by John Bradshaw.

It's a self-perpetuating cycle, and the best way to get rid of those is generally to make it a non-issue. As in, don't care about the problem. It might, however, be necessary to heal the shame first in order to do that.

[Dan94]

@Commodent Thanks!

[JustThinkingAloud]

How advanced the new information is? Our knowledge builds up from basics to more advanced. If you don’t fully understand the basics, the advanced knowledge can be quite confusing. Maybe step back and review you basic knowledge to see whether you’ve missed on some information or understanding and then build up from that.

[Surfingthewave]

@Dan94 Is there a stage before the New Information stage? How do you feel just before the first stage (curious, anxious, excited, worried etc). What is the stage in between New Information and Confusion? As you've done loads of consciousness work you know what I mean. Change the name of the stage from Confusion to Curiosity. See what happens. Add more stages, it's more nuanced than those stages youve highlighted. Have fun with it. See it as a learning loop rather than a linear task. To master something you've got to repeat repeat repeat. 

Sounds like you're caught up in the stages themselves rather than the joy of learning. Turn this on it's head. Teach what you learn- best way to take in new information! 

Read George Leonard's Mastery. Amazing book. 

Edited August 17, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[montecristo]

gratitude is the best performance enhancer I've found.

 

give me situation and I will be able to find a reason gratitude enhances your ability to achieve the outcome you want.

[huyhanh1]

khá là hà lan