experiencing a "dark side of meditation"

[laurel]

The more time that I spend meditating, the more annoyed I get!!

I no longer enjoy eating with others. I want to sit alone in silence when I eat. Loud noises bother me. I feel like everyone talks too much. All I feel like doing is laying around and looking at the sky and doing yoga and walking. I used to be an avid runner and exercise addict, but recently all I feel like doing is walking and lounging around. 

I listened to Leo's "the dark side of meditation." So I guess this explains it... so why am I even talking asking about it? Well, maybe I am seeking support, guidance, reassurance? My family thinks I'm weird. 

Please comment with any advice to help me adjust

[laurel]

Oh, and when people talk to me I don't even want to listen. I want to get up and walk away, and sometimes I do. Now I am considered "rude." I am trying to not let it affect me and just go with the flow of my mind, but it is hard. 

[cetus]

 Be a chamelion blending in with your enviroment but not effected by it,

[SunnyNewDay]

I can relate. I've been going through a dark side experience after doing psychedelics last month and it's still going on now. I just can't ignore the feelings anymore or I don't know... something triggered me 10 days ago and I've been this way on and off since. Really sensitive to how I feel and it's mostly negative. During the process of letting go all sorts of stuff can come up. It helps having people you can feel open talking about stuff like this. 

[SoonHei]

@laurel "Ships don't sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down."

[pluto]

https://fractalenlightenment.com/34946/spirituality/three-ways-to-become-one-with-your-higher-self

[laurel]

 

@SoonHei Thanks for the quote and I followed your Instagram!  

 @pluto That website has been very helpful!

@cetus56 That's a good point and great quote!  

@SunnyNewDay Good to know I'm not alone

 

I am doing MUCH better and I appreciate you all for responding ❤️ 

[Inliytened1]

On 8/7/2019 at 7:15 PM, laurel said:

The more time that I spend meditating, the more annoyed I get!!

I no longer enjoy eating with others. I want to sit alone in silence when I eat. Loud noises bother me. I feel like everyone talks too much. All I feel like doing is laying around and looking at the sky and doing yoga and walking. I used to be an avid runner and exercise addict, but recently all I feel like doing is walking and lounging around. 

I listened to Leo's "the dark side of meditation." So I guess this explains it... so why am I even talking asking about it? Well, maybe I am seeking support, guidance, reassurance? My family thinks I'm weird. 

Please comment with any advice to help me adjust

This is not the Dark Night of the Soul.  The Dark Night of the Soul is becoming fully conscious that you are NOTHING.  Everything else is just playing around. 

[Leo Gura]

It's when things start to get frustrating that real growth begins.

[MikeB]

It is simply this. Your thoughts and feelings are not you. Simple, but not easy. The real problem is you believe your thoughts and they are causing feelings in your nervous system. And yes, like Leo said, you need to experience the pain and suffering to prove this to yourself. Prove your thoughts and feelings wrong.

 

The EGO, I am not.

[SoonHei]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's when things start to get frustrating that real growth begins.

indeed!

 

@laurel good to hear

god bless you!

[AudibleLocket]

On 07/08/2019 at 9:38 PM, cetus56 said:

 Be a chamelion blending in with your enviroment but not effected by it,

@cetus56 What a great phrase man, thaks for sharing.

[SunnyNewDay]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's when things start to get frustrating that real growth begins.

I've been experiencing delusions and feel sometimes like I'm losing my mind and my appetite for food has gone away, lots of fear and it's really hard to love myself right now. This is after doing psychadelics at the end of June and I've been going through this since. Is this what awakening is? This wasn't something I was experiencing before, I felt stable and grounded before. I can hear a slight silence in my head and my body sensations are just more intense and I don't understand any of it. I think I'm going through a dark night of the soul. Will this eventually calm down and have my mind normal again? I'm going to try to do a self love visualization to get me feeling hope again.

Edited August 14, 2019 by SunnyNewDay

[loub]

@laurel  I think it is interesting how you don't seem to be bothered at all in this way by people around here. What is it about your family and friends that triggers you in such a way as opposed to people on here?

Anyway I think you are on a great path and that that is just a phase. Relax into it and let things unfold naturally. In the meantime try not to be too much of an asshole

[brugluiz]

"No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." - Carl Jung

[laurel]

@brugluiz great quote!!

[Matt8800]

On 8/7/2019 at 5:15 PM, laurel said:

The more time that I spend meditating, the more annoyed I get!!

I no longer enjoy eating with others. I want to sit alone in silence when I eat. Loud noises bother me. I feel like everyone talks too much. All I feel like doing is laying around and looking at the sky and doing yoga and walking. I used to be an avid runner and exercise addict, but recently all I feel like doing is walking and lounging around. 

I listened to Leo's "the dark side of meditation." So I guess this explains it... so why am I even talking asking about it? Well, maybe I am seeking support, guidance, reassurance? My family thinks I'm weird. 

Please comment with any advice to help me adjust

@laurel I would suggest reading the Yoga Sutras with commentary by Swami Satchinanda. You are becoming more aware of your aversions and attachments, which need to be accepted/let go. When that happens fully, it will open up to equanimity.

Buddhism has a concept of "right action", which will eventually be realized regardless of feelings and influences of the ego. This will counter the lack of motivation from losing the desires of the ego that result from ego dissolution. Motivation comes from a new place.

[enderx7]

I would highly recommend learning about and incorporating  bhakti yoga (devotion) into your path, this is almost necessary if you have a introspective intellectual nature ( frequently people that just so happen to be drawn to be serious about meditation) or you can easily become cold and detached and the path can devolve into a escape or simply a way to detach from pain. With bhakti the process will be not only 1000x more enjoyable for yourself but for the people who are around you. It develops into a beautiful and personal relationship with the divine. Whenever I let those elements drift in my practice I quickly become overwhelmed with frustration become distant and detached and before you know it everything backslides and I'm no longer excited for life and suffering from nonsense

edit:also maybe try some metta meditation (loving kindness)

Edited September 27, 2019 by enderx7