Freedom from No Freedom Paradox

[Mason Riggle]

Our (the ego's) desire to control our lives can be seen in nearly everything we do.  We try to change ourselves. We try to change our environment. We try to build structures, and organize our days, and maintain our homes and bodies.  We try to make good choices and do what we can to influence the choices of others.  

And often times, we fail at this task of 'controlling'. And so we suffer.  We agonize over things we did in the past, that we imagine we might have done differently.  We torture ourselves with thoughts about the future, and thoughts of, 'what if it doesn't go as I planned?', with nothing we can do to stop it.  And we might realize that much of what we think we can control (if anything), we can not.  This, then, is very scary for the ego, and so we spend a lot of time avoiding this idea that we don't have as much control (if any) as we tend to think we do, and we even go as far as denying this. We pretend there's a 'me' who is free to makes choices. We reinforce the ego.. I am doing this.. I am the captain of my ship.. I am the rower of my boat.. I am the author of my thoughts.  And things still happen that you can not control.. life happens.. a loved one gets sick, or you get sick, or you struggle with addiction, or anxiety and depression, or you have an emotional response or reaction you didn't expect, and you think, 'why is this happening this way?', and so you suffer, because these things are out of your control.  And sometimes we get stuck in this trap where, the more we realize things are not in 'our' control, the more we try to control them, and of course, we fail, and we suffer. 

Paradoxically, and counter-intuitively, there is a silver lining here.  There is another move that can be made.  Instead of denying the lack of control we have in our lives.. it might occur to us to embrace it.. and fully accept our lack of control and our lack of freedom in all that we think and do.  This is difficult to do.. our ego does not want to admit that it is something that is happening, rather than something that it itself is doing.  This is very scary for the ego, which in reality, is this illusion of control.  It is the death of the ego.  But if (this is a big if) and when this happens, something 'strange' can happen.  

Freedom.  One realizes there's no point in agonizing over what one did in the past, because there is nothing else they could have done.. one realizes there is no use in worrying about what one might do in the future, because there is nothing else that you could do, other than exactly what you will.  And then ultimately, one realizes there is nothing that one could be doing in this moment, other than precisely what is occurring in this moment, and so one surrenders to this, and becomes free.  Ta da! 

And in the spirit of Actualized.org.. I would like to add that I am only putting this out there as something to be pondered. I am not trying to sell anyone on this idea, or convince you of it.  I suggest that you find out for yourself if this 'letting go of control' does have this counter-intuitive, paradoxical affect which I claim.. 

 

[Mu_]

Well said, and refreshing in its delivery, hopefully it will sneak in the backdoor of oneself.