Depth of Romantic Poems : From bluntness to subtlety.

[assx95]

 

This post is a bit long but interesting. I want to show y'all three poems written for the girl i love over a span of 2 years. Notice the change in subtlety, and evolution of my psyche. 

1.  Untitled. 

This story, i think, gets repeated a hundred times, through a thousand lives,of a man who loses his self in a woman so fine. 
To calm my nerves, i smoke some fine. I see this woman as free as rain, and she sets my heart ablaze.

Somehow she agrees to see me, my heart palpitating, can barely be. 

Clouded in judgement, i walk through space and time to meet a girl who was never to be, mine. 

I sit at the table, waiting for her, my eyes wide open, i see her.

There she comes, an angel in disguise, of a world so sublime. Then she smiles with her teeth, with glory within, and here i am, a fidgety beast, fiddling with the spoons and all there is. I nod as she speaks of the troubles she goes through, i speak of mine, which is but untrue. 

She then unfolds a pack of cards, to give me a trip ace times that. So, to think of the girl who was but a dream, i acted like a pussy, without getting one

-Dedicated to the girl with an unusual name and who is dope af. 

2. Her. 

I keep forgetting that she is a universe onto herself. 

Infinite is her beauty and glory. 
 

I keep forgetting when she is with me , that she has to :go home.

Then she hugged me tight for what was an eternity and that spoke things a thousand words couldn't do. 
 

I keep forgetting what she was : the angel of death. 

 I was dead then. But she didn't look back. 

 

I keep forgetting to tell her : That i had exhausted all my life in those very moments. 

And as obvious it was to us both, she was looking fine that day. 

She killed me swiftly and then we laughed about it, and then she asked me : what i'd like to have?

 

3, The sound of muse(ic)

I want to speak to the girl in the mirror. 

Her smile i hear. Her hair spits music and that's what i see. 

 

Her voice is the vision of never ending tunnels, of  earthy breeze, of the scent of her being. 

That which binds me in moments and trips. 

I speak from a world which is unseen

You are my muse, or that's what it seems. 

 

It's tough to know what you mean to me,

For all i care is for you to be. 

 

I want to tell you something, and it's deep. 

You are a dream.

It's night. And i am fast asleep. 

 

-Woven with magic, for Hamshi. 

 

[loub]

Nice Progress. It seems to me you started saying much more with less and less words, which is among the things I most admire about poetry, it gives it a special dignity when compared to all other forms of art.

Ideally, you'll want to capture infinity within just a couple of words

 

For inspiration Purposes here is the finest love poem I have yet come across, read it many times:

She Walks in Beauty

By Lord Byron (George Gordon)

 

 

She walks in beauty, like the night

Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

And all that’s best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellowed to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

 

One shade the more, one ray the less,

Had half impaired the nameless grace

Which waves in every raven tress,

Or softly lightens o’er her face;

Where thoughts serenely sweet express,

How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

 

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,

So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

But tell of days in goodness spent,

A mind at peace with all below,

A heart whose love is innocent!

 

 

Oh, the nights I have spent gazing at myself through the lense of those words. Still makes my heart sigh a little.

Edited August 9, 2019 by loub

[assx95]

@loub Wonderful poem