Sleep Disorder, Study Paralysis and Laziness

[Milos Uzelac]

This I became aware few days ago is a habit which I carried almost my whole life. Now I have a personal and family dillema of needing to pass 2 exams to stay state financed in faculty and to retain my family pension from my deseaced mother in order not to to start working to cover the loss and maybe not being able to continue the studies for a time and doing hard labour (since I only have highschool) and my mother pension covered the costs for the first time in my life with no prior experince. This would hurt my father and granparents a lot since they gave me everything, fed me and of me not having to make my own descions for the most of my life and spoiled me. I have to study for an exam in anthropology where there are fascinating topics about how ideas are formed in the human mind and how cultures classify reality there is also an exam question about death rituals and how diffrent cultures view death, of ancentors being reborn inside you if they lived a conscious and noble life (which I havent covered yet). The is that I haven't learned to study efficently large textbooks take important notes and learn and I passed exams using scripts, which because of my speed I started using on some questions again and I reinteperate a lot and explain perfectionisticly to myself too much and drain time that way.  I have to build that habit and avoid mistakes in overcovering questions certain questions and learning to atleast explain slightly everything since I just want to pass since I have less than a month or a month  in the second term to pass them. I havent started studying for the second one yet. 

The main issue is the hard sleep drive which took hold of me everytime I start to study a question I reached and losing focus on it, wandering on it and then i just automaticly start falling a sleep (I became aware that this the lazinees pattern habit which I carried and havent fixed for 2 years and my slowness in descision making and waiting for a miracle or others which I carried from my childhood) and i need to learn it, retalk it and retain it for the exam. When I try to meditate in this state and to uncover the root cause the sleep and cloudiness just pull me down and I start to fall asleep again. I try to stay awake as much as possble these few days 2-3 hours and to meditate in morning time for an hour in trying to become aware of the root and the correct approach to solve it again but I still lose focus and paralyze myself on a question and then when I read the text again to learn it and retain it or talk to myself to retain it a wander off lose focus a I start to fall asleep again during the day and during the night I just waste time on the same method. Im wasting a day on being stuck on question or covering questions painfully slow because of ineadquate reading or note taking and not seeing yet a way out of the loop.

The main question I have is how not to fall asleep when trying to cover the question and when I meditate on it how to get past the hard sleep drive in the morining or afternoon in that state, and not just being cloudy in my mind and become aware. Just repeating the few sleep hours and just sitting and reading and reinterperating till the answer magically appears and meditating an hour at night or will I have to wait for the moment of action which I must take to come and let painfully let go of something which I am not aware and and follow it in order for my current state to improve and to have a steady tempo to learn questions in order to pass this exam. I apologize for writing this chaoticly I couldnt formulate  it precisly since I am I had the anxiety of wasting time 40 minutes in writing it by doing so when I have to study for the question on which i am covering to slowly now. I thank anyone in advance and for the patience who can read this who can give me an insight on how to overcome this loop.

[supremeyingyang]

Even if English is not your native tongue you should try to format your text. Take the damn time to write precisely.

I don't know you, but from the text I would guess that you are not focused at all. You want to meditate, you have problems within your family AND want to be perfect. No wonder to me that you have no energy.

My recommendations: 1. Pomodoro-Technique, 2. Exercising between long blocks of study, 3. eat enough, 4. (If you do) less alcohol, drug nicotine and coffeine

Edited August 5, 2019 by supremeyingyang

[JustThinkingAloud]

How much sleep do you actually get? Your brain can’t function well when it’s tired and doesn’t have a rest. I can understand that you can get bored and your mind wonders off when the topic isn’t interesting enough but falling asleep can come from some other health issues.