Why is Self Conscious a Demeaning Adjective?

[mmKay]

Decided to post this here as It is a mix of various topics . This half baked insight popped into my mind today as I was working and didn't have much time to contemplate. Please bear with me as I elaborate.

In the context of Self-Actualization, being literally self-conscious is a great thing, and something that we strive for. We relate unconsciousness, the opposite of self-conscious,  with selfishness, ignorance and overall a bad thing, something that we do not want.

Somewhere along the way of evolution of language the word Self Conscious became asociated with being shy, hyper sensitive with oneself, uncomfortable, socially awkward and poor with the opposite sex.

"Alpha males", or Naturals, are not self-conscious. They are not shy. Therefore they are Confident and are good with girls since they are attracted to confidence. You could argue that having low consciousness makes you confident. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect ( cognitive bias where being more ignorant equals confidence .

On the other hand, I belive self consciousness goes full circle in social skills, in some cases. 

Let's say that you are shy: Self conscious and hyper-aware of your behaviour in social scenarios. You start off awkward and getting in your own way the whole time as you inhibit expressing thoughts and behaviour as you may judge it inapropiate or simply overthink things. Then you learn that anxiety fades once you stop being stuck in your own head because of filtering and micromanaging others people perceptions of you, and express in the moment impulses as in saying spontaneous thoughts or having spontaneous and impulsive behaviour rather than inhibitive. By doing this you reach Flow state  and are not shy in the scenario anymore.

For me it works like this, I'm self-conscious as in aware of my thoughts and actions but in flow state since I don't inhibit my thoughts or behaviour, I just observe it and don't judge. 

I belive the problem is not being self conscious, its the judgement and the inhibition , something that the " naturals " don't have since their little consciousness doesn't allow them to judge themselves, per say.

Sorry for sloppy writting as I'm late to work.

Thoughts ? (:

[Forestluv]

@mmKay This is a really interesting view and I have never thought about it this way. I think it’s a great example of using the term self-conscious in a personal or “trans-personal” context.

With some who is shy and insecure, there will be a form of awareness, a hyper awareness of certain things (such as how people are looking at them or reacted to them, whether their clothing sticks out, if they behaved awkwardly etc.) Yet this is all within the personality. This is immersed within the personal story. This would be a person having self consciousness within the personality. There is another “higher” level of self consciousness which is transcendent of the personality. It’s a consciousness that does not identify with the person and the personal story. It is transcendent of this personality construct. There is an awareness “outside” of the personality. Sorta like watching a movie character. There is awareness of the movie character in the story, yet the awareness does not identify as being the character in the story. It is a different perspective.

[lmfao]

@mmKay Upon the arrival of self conciousness, our intelligence increased and we became aware of concepts such as the future and time. But for many of us, our own intelligence has turned against us. For what use is planning for the future and remembering the past if it leaves us unable to fully in the present? An animal doesn't worry about such things, it can live fully in the now. 

Edited August 3, 2019 by lmfao

[RickyBalboa]

@Serotoninluv This awareness you speak of that is transcendent of the personality construct is not meant to be experienced in the context of a conversation with other individuals is it? How would something like that work if one posited that they could interface with another individual in that state? The moment you are asked a question such as "Where did you go to school?", you would have to search through your memory bank and identify with being the experiencer of that story. Ultimately popping you back into personality as a subjective viewer. 

This is my struggle in social situations. The less I identify with myself, the less equipped I become to handle a conversation.

But then again I always have difficulty understanding what people mean by being present.  Presence seems to be relative to your goal rather than a solid place independent of any one individuals perspective. I mean, aren't all perspectives at any given point in time technically present?

[Leo Gura]

You just have to be careful with how terms can have different meanings.

"Self-consciousness" is a mainstream cultural term, not a technical term from spirituality. Mainstream culture does not understand what the self or what consciousness is. So understanding that, when ordinary folks say "self-conscious" they are not talking about spirituality or awakening or Truth. They simply mean: a neurotic sense of social anxiety and self-judgment.

Don't be fooled by the surface similarity of terms. Just because two words look the same or sound the same does not mean they have the same meaning.

Of course the problem is not self-consciousness per se, the problem is an obsessive anxiety over one's self-image in social situations. In a sense, the awakened person is not self-conscious when he acts. He's not thinking of his self-image, he acts spontaneously. The self-conscious person self-obsesses and is stuck in monkey mind.

[Forestluv]

2 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

@Serotoninluv The moment you are asked a question such as "Where did you go to school?", you would have to search through your memory bank and identify with being the experiencer of that story.

Is this identification to the story necessary? There is a lot of information in my head. Someone could ask me “where did you go to school?” and “where did your sister ho to school?”. The information to answer both questions is available, one needn’t identify with either story. 

Another way to look at is - humans interact through stories. We play characters through story telling. It’s part of human life. Yet we don’t need to be identified with my story. These days, I’m not that interested in telling “my story”. Sometimes sharing experiences is fun, other times it practical. Yet I see people go on and on about their personal stories. It can be fun in some contexts, yet can get tiresome and boring. I generally prefer discussions at an impersonal level and to just be engaged with what is actually happening now.  

[DrewNows]

3 hours ago, RickyBalboa said:

@Serotoninluv This awareness you speak of that is transcendent of the personality construct is not meant to be experienced in the context of a conversation with other individuals is it? How would something like that work if one posited that they could interface with another individual in that state? The moment you are asked a question such as "Where did you go to school?", you would have to search through your memory bank and identify with being the experiencer of that story. Ultimately popping you back into personality as a subjective viewer. 

This is my struggle in social situations. The less I identify with myself, the less equipped I become to handle a conversation.

But then again I always have difficulty understanding what people mean by being present.  Presence seems to be relative to your goal rather than a solid place independent of any one individuals perspective. I mean, aren't all perspectives at any given point in time technically present?

This video is kind of on point here