4g Magic Mushroom Trip Report - Home | #14

[cle103]

I will skip the intro today. This one was wild. So hold on to your hats. 

From the beginning this trip was different. After about 20 minutes my whole body started vibrating intensely. That took me by surprise. And shortly afterwards the first breakthrough hit: 

 

1. Mirrors

For the last days I was really intrigued by mirrors. What they are how they work… and it turns out they are a huge part of how reality is constructed. 

See, consciousness is the underlying ground of everything. It is raw, formless potential. However there is a grand illusion at play (which we call life). It is really like a hall of mirrors. Reflection within reflection and ever on.

And what I then became aware of was the undoing of this illusion. It was like all the mirrors where lifted up and I merged back into Oneness. I then proceeded to open my eyes only to find reality breaking down completely before me, as me. 

There was no sense of up or down. No orientation at all. I merged back into raw potential and became aware of how this room is just a mirage. A reflection reflecting itself. And underlying all of it is the ultimate magician God itself. It felt like the curtain was lifted and I saw him doing his magic trick... with me being the magician, the audience and the trick itself. 

This alone was a mindfuck yet only the beginning… 
 

 

2. Death and rebirth 

Note: Last wednesday I did an intense holotropic breathing session. Afterwards I got the clear sense of presence of some demonic force in my room. It proceeded to give me visions of my darkest fears in my dreams (half awake) and then it vanished. I think this trip was the sequel to that.  It was not pleasant at all. I died and was rebirthed over and over again. At the end there was the question “Do you want to be a living God?” but it was already answered...

 

3. Home

Ever since last trip I got the sense that something shifted in me. I did about 3 years of “seeking” enlightenment however I became aware of that I am already done. I’ve reached the point of no return months ago. There is no point in trying to yank the steering wheel around… the car has reached the top of the mountain and is now rolling downhill into nirvana. 

The trip then retold me the story of the enlightened shoe by Adyashanti. If you have never heard it you might enjoy it. In short: You cannot go anywhere to find enlightenment. Practice is necessary until it is not. Seeking is necessary until it is not. 

I will keep practicing, however I strongly feel the “bang your head against the wall” part of "seeking" is over.

And I also got the sense of that I am pretty lucky in this regard. I really got to give a shoutout to my past lifetimes or something. I did little in this one to “earn” it. I'm only 21 and did 3 years of meditation, Kriya Yoga and Psychedelics. 

I feel at home. However we will see how this will fair in daily life. Since last trip it has become much more effortless and joyous... we will see. 

It surely is a new beginning since there is no end. 

 

4. Not being human 

After about 1 hour of straight breakthroughs and peaking I opened my eyes and was awestruck what was going on... It was like I became aware of that multiple realities are here overlaid over one each other in this moment… and me tracing my finger was like glitching the matrix. This is hard to put into words, but I clearly did not feel human. It was some sort of new entity learning through my body.

And it still went on… 

 

5. God and the Soul 

I have to paint this as a picture but I got the image that God is like this field of energy and then there is like a wave reaching out of it. And on the tip of this wave is a dot of light and it is looking at God (as God). This is what “we” are. 

We are looking at God as God. And it is learning through us and teaching us at the same time. 

 

6. Evolution 

Some time ago I saw the video of a seed becoming a plant on Leos Blog. Why is it doing that? Why does it has to expand and grow? 

Well, all of this got answered. 

First of all God as RAW intelligence. If you think of the smartest human on earth… that’s not even a fracture of Gods intelligence. It designed this body. It does not make mistakes. 

Think about it: If you were in charge of running your organs it would be mayhem. And then think about building a new one… no no no. God has designed it perfectly for you so you can do more exploration… AND it is still learning.

This is Evolution. It’s going on right here right now. For example think about AI. This is not artificial. It is part of evolution. God is experiencing and learning in this instance THROUGH us. This is insanity. 

And why on earth does it do that? 

First of all because it’s infinitely intelligent and it just can… and second of all because of Love. Learning to love. God is just infinite goodness and it is orchestrating this illusion so we can think we are seperated and relearn how to love. 

 

7. Why are the things the way they are and not otherwise? 

Why has my notebook lines and isn’t just blank? Because I find it easier to write this way. Why is that important? Because I want to note as many insights as I can. Why that… 

It goes on and on. And it all traces back to God’s infinite intelligence. Things are the way the are because they could not be otherwise AND for God to experience itself more fully AND because this is needed for this love simulator in exactly this way. 

 

---- 

 

At the beginning of this trip I thought I figured some stuff out already. And it told me “Yes you have”... it then showed me 3 or 4 tiny stones of a mosaik which were colored (meaning “understood”)... it then showed me a hundred more stones and I was like “Oh man, you serious bro?”... it then zoomed out and out and out until I could not see anything anymore. The mosaik was so huge, it was not grasp-able. That is what we are doing here. 

Here are some more insights: 

 

8. The innovators dilemma

Did you ever notice how great companies are built? Think about the big auto companies back in the days. 

Usually there are some people tinkering. Innovating. Figuring stuff out. And if they figure something out it gets copied ruthlessly. Then the businessmen come in. They turn the raw idea into money and processes. Then we end up with a corrupt polluting monstrosity which is getting so fat that it's dying down again. This is evolution at work. Each time around it gets smarter and smarter. 

 

9. The hand you are delt 

A big part of life is figuring out which cards you are delt and then playing them to the max. Me for example: I am not an academic even though I was good in school. I am not that techy. I am not that interested in dense studies. And I am also not the “hardest working dude in the room”. However I am artistic (and  probably pretty lucky regarding past lifes). And now its on to playing exactly this hand to its max. Not trying to turn weaknesses into strength but figuring out this Zone of Genius and going all in. 

 

Thank you for reading. 

Much Love. 

 

[Leo Gura]

Awesome! Those are some deep insights. Proud of ya

You are finally starting to understand the depth of it.

[peanutspathtotruth]

Very well written and beautiful insights. Thank you so much for sharing, you really nailed it, got me inspired pretty much <3

[karkaore]

Godspeed ❤️

[Charlotte]

♥️

[cle103]

@Leo Gura @peanutspathtotruth @karkaore @Charlotte Thank yall ??

[Ar_Senses]

One of those trip reports after which I think “Damn, I wish we’ll be friends with this dude!”

I’m joining to the words of @peanutspathtotruth — you’re really good at writing + the style and the flow of the text feels almost like the poetry.

I think that can be your trump card)

 

What was the set and setting of your trip? You at your summer holidays now? In which country you’re living?

[cle103]

@Ar_Senses thank you! 

I live in Germany (and I work there). If you are in the area I’d love to connect. 

Set and setting was as usual:

My room. Saturday morning. It was my monthly trip (I do it monthly since April however I always wait until I get the strong intuition to go in again). 

I also wrote down my intentions beforehand. 

[cle103]

@Keyhole thank you! 

[Draven]

This is awesome. Super inspiring for someone of the same age. Shrooms in nature have allowed me to see beauty and intelligence of creation so hearing about these profound insights is great to hear.

[cle103]

@Draven Glad I could inspire you. Age is just a number, what's much more important is sincerity and maturity. 

[Enizeo]

@cle103 Awesome stuff! Inspired the shit our of me

What kind of practices did you do in order to have these insights/breakthroughs? How did you prepare while sober (just Kryia and contemplation or any specific techniques?). More importantly: what did you do while tripping? I'm getting more serious about the psychedelic path, but me trips don't seem to lead anywhere just yet, so any insight is welcome. 

Thank you! 

[cle103]

@Enizeo thank you! 

I do Kriya Yoga and mindfulness meditation daily. I also breathe almost daily (mostly just 3 rounds of Wim Hof but sometimes a full 50 minute holotropic session). 

Whilst tripping I lie down and relax. Then a window opens up where I can restate my intentions. Then I just let the peak build itself up. Once I‘ve broken through the biggest reveal happens. There is nothing that I do in this moment... only surrender. 

After the breakthrough the peak lasts 1-2 hours where I am in a fully nondual state. There I ask questions and contemplate (mostly with my eyes open). Then there is a come down where I feel more and more exhausted. I mostly just sit around and pick up the remains of my identity and stitch them back together lol. 

Also: These trips have only been this deep since my first breakthrough to infinity. There is really no comparison. 

[Nahm]

@cle103 Wonderful, congrats, and the divine humility pervades in spades! A true insight delight. Thanks for sharing! 

[zeroISinfinity]

@cle103 Wait until you discover that Infinitely loving and infinitely intelligent trickster is no other then You. 

How much you can mindfuck and fuck yourself up is unbeleivable. ??

[cle103]

@Nahm Thank you ??

@zeroISinfinity It always takes one by surprise. You know it happens when you try to articulate something and every word  stops half way until there is only silence and awestruck-ness left lol. 

[Draven]

@cle103 You're right  Cheers from New Zealand.