How to deal with sexual desires?

[SriBhagwanYogi]

Even if i meditate do self inquiry i cant Control my desires, they control me like i am animal lol 

[Preetom]

29 minutes ago, SriBhagwanYogi said:

Even if i meditate do self inquiry i cant Control my desires, they control me like i am animal lol 

Reading scriptures and also observing in my own life, I came to see this 4 steps hierarchy in dealing with desires in order to progress further spiritually.

Note: in this context, by desire I mean the dissonance we feel when there is a contradiction between what is and what we desire in the moment. This dissonance inevitably lead to further discomfort, guilt, shame, hopelessness, more craving etc down the line whether we suppress or follow that desire.

So here is the hierarchy.

1) This is the best condition. These are the small number of people who are naturally inquisitive and introverted due to their extremely good karma. It is their genes so to speak to have minimum desires

2) The next one down is the use of reason and intelligence to conquer desire. Yoga Vasishtha goes on and on about this. These are some of the people who has some varying desires but upon hearing from the sages and scriptures about the trap and pitfall of desire, they can slowly untangle theirs using their reason, seeing clearly the mechanism and trap of desire without indulging in them too much.

3) The next step down is indulgence in desires and getting corresponding emotional feedback. Here, desires are way too strong for reason and logic to root out. The seeker-victim-aspirant actually needs to indulge in desires many times, slowly get emotional feedback and being honest and finally being experientially convinced about the trap and limit of desires.

4) This is the worst kind of horse in the hierarchy. Here, desires are so out of hand that it knows no bound. The only way out of this is to indulge in desires for decades and lifetimes, suffer unimaginably just to get the necessary counter samskaras to finally wake up from the trap of desires.

[Harikrishnan]

Go for Yoga classes or do Yoga for an hour+

[RobertZ]

I try to distinguish my desires. I try to pull apart and identify the depth of my passions. My starting points are 

• physical existence, health, 

• learning and 

• the ongoing existence of the human race (like charity to the human family).

So then,  I try to observe how I feel. Am I really starved for affection?  I am very fortunate to have so much good in my life.

I recently heard an alarming account of a traveller who rescued a very young girl from a hell-hole of sexual abuse in a place in India. The traveller opposed the desires of these lecherous men through a kind of...providence. The traveller brought this girl to an old Tibetan couple whose daughter had died--and the Tibetan couple adopted her as their long lost daughter.  
Nevertheless, I am not a fan of scapegoating pleasure. I don't think desire is the enemy. The desire for the ongoing existence of human life undergirds human kindness, from my perspective. By honestly looking at my own desires, I hope to make the world a better place.

Finally, social supports might be helpful if desires prove circumstantially problematic. It is amazing how talking to another person can draw desires through a sort of reality-tunnel.

[Yog]

Its a good way do differentiate between conscious/unconscious desire. And see where it leads.
Desire will cease only when you are dead. So you will extinguish it only than.

[Aeris]

7 hours ago, Preetom said:

Reading scriptures and also observing in my own life, I came to see this 4 steps hierarchy in dealing with desires in order to progress further spiritually.

Note: in this context, by desire I mean the dissonance we feel when there is a contradiction between what is and what we desire in the moment. This dissonance inevitably lead to further discomfort, guilt, shame, hopelessness, more craving etc down the line whether we suppress or follow that desire.

So here is the hierarchy.

1) This is the best condition. These are the small number of people who are naturally inquisitive and introverted due to their extremely good karma. It is their genes so to speak to have minimum desires

2) The next one down is the use of reason and intelligence to conquer desire. Yoga Vasishtha goes on and on about this. These are some of the people who has some varying desires but upon hearing from the sages and scriptures about the trap and pitfall of desire, they can slowly untangle theirs using their reason, seeing clearly the mechanism and trap of desire without indulging in them too much.

3) The next step down is indulgence in desires and getting corresponding emotional feedback. Here, desires are way too strong for reason and logic to root out. The seeker-victim-aspirant actually needs to indulge in desires many times, slowly get emotional feedback and being honest and finally being experientially convinced about the trap and limit of desires.

4) This is the worst kind of horse in the hierarchy. Here, desires are so out of hand that it knows no bound. The only way out of this is to indulge in desires for decades and lifetimes, suffer unimaginably just to get the necessary counter samskaras to finally wake up from the trap of desires.

You can know expérience all that by simulation without physical suffering.

I think everyone prétend vidéo games are low consciousness. But now with depth and understanding of reality.

We Can abuse everything in mind now. 

I think good vidéo games are more powerful than méditation. But maybe that's about interprétation and it Always dépend of your own préférences. There is no duality to have though 

I do not play anymore that much no need currently for a game. But I would consider having others lifes expériences ( past lifes ). Even if they are all the expérience of my body watching mental World.

When you played like me 90% of your free time until 21. Physical or non physical. The value we give to things. If mental is all there is go get a game.

Vidéos games ( especially rpg ) are truly like a psychedelics expériences with good mind observation.

Knowing how is created a game is a réflection of how god made reality. Just with even more depth.

I think that's very hardcore in understanding aswell to try to create your own game ( there is even tools that doesn't need Big skill in coding now )

( I try that with a community when I was younger ) creating Map. Level design and how character interact with the player. It makes you rethink how this 'physical reality' is working

 

[Aakash]

Yeah finding truth kept me in a kind of don't care about it state, need to find truth at all costs. Now that i've found it and i'm going to regress backwards in the spiral by 6 stages. I'm all down for giving into the desire! ahah so HELLLL NO

[Aaron p]

...well, just find the one who desires. Don't try to be holy, or live holy...only a distraction 

[Solonius]

10 hours ago, Harikrishnan said:

Go for Yoga classes or do Yoga for an hour+

A bunch of women in skin tight pants bending around? Do not go to a class. Your trying to reduce sexual desires.

12 hours ago, SriBhagwanYogi said:

Even if i meditate do self inquiry i cant Control my desires, they control me like i am animal lol 

Are you doing nofap? At the very least you need to cut out pornography to have any hope at all.

[Nahm]

@SriBhagwanYogi What is the sensation?

[Preetom]

29 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@SriBhagwanYogi What is the sensation?

2nd degree burn on Johnson ?

 

[SriBhagwanYogi]

@Nahm In my case its more like unconscious deep desire no matter how much realationships i have my ego wannts more and more. I use self inquiry, see that i am aware of needy sensations but they dont pass. 

[Nahm]

@SriBhagwanYogi Can we agree that it can’t be unconscious, as you’re talking about it? This enables us to address the actuality, what you actually are conscious of. Make sense? (It might seem like non-sense, but the clarity of that is where we’re headed.)

What is the actual sensation? Point to it in your body, and describe it in a few words, please. 

[SriBhagwanYogi]

@Nahm well if i dont label it, or judge it actual feeling is some kind of a happening, passing vibration

[Nahm]

@SriBhagwanYogi If that’s workin for ya, then cool. ??

[Bill W]

I masturbate to porn if single. Have sex if I am not single. 

Edited July 29, 2019 by Bill W
Forgot to add about porn.

[robdl]

21 hours ago, SriBhagwanYogi said:

Even if i meditate do self inquiry i cant Control my desires, they control me like i am animal lol 

There is sexual desire.  Then a condemnation-resistance toward it which reflects the desire not to sexually desire.  So now you've just  shifted the problem from the desire for sex toward the desire for purity/chastity --- but it's  all desire, just in different cloaks, reacting to/within itself.

Edited July 29, 2019 by robdl

[robdl]

Desiring not to desire is still desire (ego) self-sustaining.

[robdl]

Focusing on and fretting over one particular desire (i.e. sex) can be a distraction from observing the total movement of desire in oneself.  Thought is always seeking pleasure or resisting pain, and desiring sex is just one of many forms of it.

Edited July 29, 2019 by robdl

[Maya_0]

You watch the desire to it's death. So you watch it when it arises, and then continue to watch it until it passes.

Everytime you don't act on the desire, it weakens the habit forces in the mind. So the desire loses its grip more and more with time.

However, if you do act on it, the habit forces become stronger in the mind and the desire becomes more deeply rooted.