No Goals/Direction/Ambition..?

[Uncover]

Hi,

I'm a 24 years old guy. I feel that my life is pretty average and I'm not doing what I'm really capable of doing and wasting my abilities thus failing to give my share to the world. I finished Economics licence and masters degrees. I got hired at an average/below average job as an junior accountant. I'm doing a mindless job of booking invoices for almost two years now. My other colleagues got much better jobs with double my salary. Here it was my fault for not having the ambition to try to apply for a better job. I was always mediocre and the worst part is that I was OK with that. Actually, the worst part is that I'm still OK with that now.

I'm a very skinny guy. My girlfriend told me that I should eat better. That I'll look much better. I don't have the ambition even for that. I'm always complaining that cooked food costs money and I can't cook, and the rent is not cheap (1/3 of my salary). (Having a girlfriend isn't cheap either  ). I only spend the food tickets to buy stuff from supermarket. I eat very poorly. Just a little in the morning. Two sandwiches at noon, at work. We don't have a canteen. And a little in the evening, the "dry" stuff I buy from the supermarket. Maybe I should stop worrying about money and buy cooked food? I'm always with the idea of saving money so I can afford nice stuff later (like a car, really want one) but I'm never able to save either.

Now my routine costs of waking up, going to work, coming home, and spending the rest of my time in front of my computer. Pretty much gaming other kinds of entertainment. Of course, there are days when I go out with my girlfriend and other activities, but you got the point. I want to change this, but I'm rooted in my computer after work. I have no other goals/ direction.. What should I do? I want to do something better that waste my life like this. To make myself and my girlfriend proud to have me. 
 

Gratefully,

Uncover

[Joseph Maynor]

The 10 Elements of High Industriousness

(1) High Energy

(2) Task Punchlist (Tasks are Concrete & Specific Actionable Steps)

(3) Immunity to Fear and Limiting-Beliefs

(4) Momentum Coming from Regular Disciplined Practice

(5) No Addictions (Temperate)

(6) Mentality of Just Get Busy (Just Do It)

(7) No Distractions

(8) Game Plan Driven (Objective-focused)

(9) Low Comfort Mentality

(10) Maximum Positive Motivation

[Nahm]

@Uncover

What game(s) do you play on the computer? 

 

[Uncover]

@Nahm  Now I'm playing Paladins and Tomb Raider. There are two videos with a few games I tried if you want to play too. :))  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFHjz6i3JXEp8dYiFIDNAcw?view_as=subscriber Does it matter what games I play? 

[Nahm]

@Uncover I liked Stronghold Legends, it’s old af now, but I liked it. Ever play that one?

[universe]

I dont think you have no goals. You have goals but there is a voice in your head that says to all this goals "You cant do that, your are too dumb/mediocre/untalented etc. for that". Society created this voice in your head. Do you watch Leos videos? They could be helpful.

Also if you cant come up with any goal right now. Your new goal is to find a goal that will make your life more fulfilling and inspiring.

So work on your self, thank the voice that keeps on telling you, that you are not worthy, for his work and leave it behind.

On the outside I would recommend you do a cold turkey on computer time. Stop using the computer after work for 2 weeks. Of course also no tv or phone. Go for a walk, read a book or write a journal instead. Even just doing nothing would be helpful.

[Harikrishnan]

This video was posted in the forum by someone early.

[Uncover]

@Nahm No, I haven't played it.  I guess I'm starting a new game now. :)) Is this multiplayer? 

13 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Uncover I liked Stronghold Legends, it’s old af now, but I liked it. Ever play that one?

 

[Uncover]

@universe Two weeks without laptop?? Maybe I'll manage 4 days. No phone? I even use my phone at my lunch break while I'm eating. It's the first thing I check in the morning. And I fall asleep with it in my hand at 12 PM usually, daily. I need it also to text my girl and other people. But usually, the time spent on it is for entertainment. Can't do without cellphone. ?

[Knock]

Here is some sincere, direct masculine advice for you, @Uncover young man.

Here is what you are going to do:

1.       Write up a personal balance sheet. You’re an accountant right? Download your bank history csv for the past 6-12 months and sort into categories. Break them into 9 categories of expenses, using ‘other’ for your 10th category if needed. Piece of cake. Add a fancy pie chart if you want, make this as fun or bland as you want, but this is important.

This creates money awareness. Know where your money is going. Know how much you can save a month. Could you save $20 per week? $50? $100? Good, that’s now money to invest in you. Be selfish. That’s gym money, food money, book money. Whatever you need.

PAY YOURSELF FIRST. Invest in yourself. Not your girlfriend, not on your mates for that 4th round of drinks. Invest in your personal growth, it is the most important thing. Mates and girlfriends may come and go, but you will never leave you.

2.       Time to change your mindset. This is a 2-pronged attack. Action and information. Information for perspective change. Action for self-belief. What information? Quality sources!

Don’t know quality sources? Then ask around! The most important thing it to read and take-in what resonates with you, not what you think you ‘should’ be learning. If it’s boring, put it down! There is an infinite other things that can help you that will be interesting and helpful to you when you look for them.

If you can’t concentrate when reading books, or can’t afford them, no problem! Watch Youtube, browse inspiring blogs, listen to podcasts! Do whatever helps you get out of your rut and engaged in new perspectives. This should be fun and exciting, not a chore!

 

3. Now action, the easiest part. Requires no thinking, just do something that gets you out of the house. Go for a walk after work, play casual sport, do some 1-on-1 basketball with your girlfriend. Just start small, but make it consistent. If you want to get muscles, join a gym, but don’t overthink it!

If gym is your thing, I have a gym story. I was scarred shirtless about going to the gym, wondering if everyone will notice my twig arms and if I was doing the exercises correctly. Nobody gave 2 fruitbats when I walked in, nor did they give 2 fruitbats when I walked out. To get me started, my PT buddy gave me the following advice. “Just get to the gym”. No nutrition, not exercise routine. Just rock-up.

For the first 2 weeks, everyday, I went into the gym, walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes, then walked out. Did I gain any muscles in that time? Hell no! Did I gain any confidence in the gym in that time? 1000 times YES! And it was easy. Hell, even my 90yr Grandma could walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes. It wasn’t about the workout, it was about the confidence, it was about the mindset. You see, once you set your mindset up, once you get the ball rolling, the actions pick-up themselves.

By the 3rd week, I was EAGER to walk 15minutes. And hell, why not chuck in a quick 2 minute run in while I’m at it.

Yeah, my progress was slow. Yeah, I was “inefficient”. But you know what’s more inefficient. Sitting on the couch all day looking up how to do the best gym workouts, when not even signed up for the gym. So just get there! Small, but consistent. You got this!

 

Whew! Now I’m pumped for the gym, so I’ll leave this post here, hope it helps.

[possibilities]

So, so much here...

I wish you the best man.

Best thing I can recommend, oh so many things.

Exercise.

Weights. Fitness. Cold showers. It'll raise those testosterone levels and potentially make you more ambitious.

Again all the best.

You're still young, so don't be so hard on yourself. Imagine where you'll be when you're 30 if you're on the same track you are now, picture where you'd like to be and do your best to emotionally resonate with things there.

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Uncover said:

@Nahm No, I haven't played it.  I guess I'm starting a new game now. :)) Is this multiplayer? 

 

Well, ya, but not first person 4K at all lol. It’s kind of simulation game. Start with a little village, build an economy, spend the money on troops, take over the other castle etc. Used to love it. I loved getting the whole city running and producing perfectly.  I think it actually opened my eyes to passive income honestly. What do you like about tomb raider & paladin? 

[Uncover]

@Knock Great insights! Thank you! I'll start eating better and going to gym. The money aren't really a big broblem. I just wanted to save them so I can afford a car. But I guess that won't happen unless I get a better paid job. 

[ajasatya]

@Uncover Getting a car is one of the easiest ways to become financially screwed. I am 30 y/o, I have an amazing job that pays me well and I don't have a car. I'm not going to buy one until I have a child.

[JustThinkingAloud]

On 29/07/2019 at 4:40 AM, Uncover said:

I'm always with the idea of saving money so I can afford nice stuff later (like a car, really want one) but I'm never able to save either.

Here’s your goal so go for it! Just be careful not to make it only about the destination, you need to enjoy the journey too!

You have economics knowledge so use it to spend less (eg rent) or make more money. Start with small steps and as you get more confident make the steps bigger and bigger. You also need energy and food to be able to enjoy this life, it’s a necessity. How can you enjoy getting what you want without energy and good health. I’d start there, it will give you more energy to actually move towards your goals.

[EmendareIgni]

Take Life Purpose Course. I can assure you it's worth it

Or go on a solo retreat for few days. Give yourself time to really think about what you want to do in your life.

Taking psychodelics could also open your mind to new possibilities. Try LSD mabye. It can give you very juicy insights about your direction in life

[Identity]

Simpy think about this question:

What do I want to create in my life?

see your life as a canvas

think about what you want to paint on it

and than go do it

[hyruga]

If you have no goals and no directions in life, just set them.

Edited July 31, 2019 by hyruga

[Aeris]

On 30/07/2019 at 2:01 AM, ajasatya said:

@Uncover Getting a car is one of the easiest ways to become financially screwed. I am 30 y/o, I have an amazing job that pays me well and I don't have a car. I'm not going to buy one until I have a child.

Agreed. And the funny thing is the 'propaganda' car = freedom

Dépend mostly it means screwed. 

But some need it anyway. 

 

optimize your spending