question about blame, judgement, understanding, love

[SoonHei]

is the following a good way to look at scenarios in life?

 

anytime we are blaming someone or judging them, is it fair to say that we do not understand?

now, i don't mean blame/judgement in the context of what has happened.

for example, if it was someone's duty to lock the door and they forgot to, causing a theft, then of course, that person is to blame. they were negligent. but in the higher context of things... if we blame them or judge them, it means we fail to understand the mechanics of what's taking place.

 

in short, the insight is... anytime you are judging someone or blaming them - you are not understanding (or operating out of Love)

 

am I correct to say this?

people are who they are

a murder kills because that's who he is

the highest view that is.

 

was having a discussion about this... and the way i explained it was that non-judgement is the natural place to come to. it's not thought... like okay, i won't judge this person. that's not authentic...

almost like, when you see what you thought was a snake to be a piece of rope, you don't have to try or think to not be afraid. that's just what results due to you being able to see the reality/bigger picture/understanding.

 

so understanding = non-judgement

 

thanks for input.

[Gili Trawangan]

For me it is beginning to be very difficult to judge anyone. Ultimately that person is you. If you were given his ego and circumstances you would do the exact same things they do. So what's there to judge?

[SoonHei]

@Gili Trawangan true. but prior to that "other" really being you... there is the understanding that they are who they are and do what they do because of who they are and what they have experienced 

 

so in other words, that insight: so understanding = non-judgement is truth ya?

 

[Gili Trawangan]

@SoonHei Yeah I think you're right

[Truth Addict]

@SoonHei

More accurately, we could say that misunderstanding = judgement.

Because:

• We can't judge without a frame of reference, which is a partial understanding.
• And we don't judge with unconditional love/proper understanding.
• Between the two, all judgements happen.

Between not-knowing and knowing lies ignorance.

Edited July 25, 2019 by Truth Addict

[SoonHei]

@Gili Trawangan thnx

 

@Truth Addict i like the way you put it.

love how it all falls into place

 

Love Leads the Way xo

[Bill W]

I'm wondering if you'd get anything from these two clips. I love them both. The David Hawkins one, it's worth persevering with it, as he nails it a few times and says some powerful stuff that really resonates with me. The other one, with Adyashanti is very pragmatic, and his delivery is awesome.  What Adyashanti is saying reminds me of one of my favourite psychologists of all time (Albert Ellis). It might also be worth your while having a look at some of Albert Ellis' work on things like blame, judgements, and generally holding unhelpful beliefs about yourself, others, and circumstances.

 

 

 

[possibilities]

A pattern I notice with people is "how should I view this situation?" but to me they're asking the wrong question, to me the question should be, "how can I better observe this situation?".

The first question tries to inject meaning that isn't necessarily there, the second question tries to see what is actually there and in doing so, learning occurs automatically through inspiration as opposed to force (the first question is like an imposition, as well as even, an unnecessary self criticism of should or should not (i.e. "I'm doing good if I'm doing this / I'm doing bad if I'm doing that").

Acceptance.

Observation.

Uninterrupted (meaning uncluttered by expectation, rules, etc) learning.

These situations aren't like making coffee, meaning they're not procedural, "okay two teaspoons of coffee, one teaspoon of sugar, quarter of a small glass of milk... or... don't put too much sugar, remember to allow the coffee to cool down before drinking, etc...", they're simply moments in which we're trying to learn from experience, in so saying as much, the procedure is in the kind of observation we're doing and having rights/wrongs (i.e. don't have too many expectations, observe over judge, seek learning over repetition, etc) here as opposed to our judgements on our situation, judgements of which will subtract from the fluidity of observation which reveals a much richer experience that is far beyond the triviality of blame. In this sense observation is like a fine painter with a brush, delicate and precise, with the avoidance of broad strokes and simplistic drawings (i.e. stick figures - of which many kinds of judgements on situations resemble, as an analogy).

So these situations from my experience don't have simple answers and simple stories, which is good, they have shades of beauty stretching as long as we have time to carefully observe the situation.

[Commodent]

Judgment is not bad in and of itself. It's an important component of knowing what to do, who to surround yourself with, what kind of treatment you accept from others etc. Like everything, it's about balance.

Same thing goes with blame, as there is such a thing as healthy blame. Blame is simply acknowledging how certain outer (or inner) forces influenced you. The problem arises when it gets excessive and you use it as an excuse to not improve your situation.

Of course, the more conscious you are the more able you are to utilize these mechanisms in a healthy way.

[Forestluv]

@SoonHei This gets into cause and effect. “Blame” is merely assigning a cause to an effect. I.e. there was a person that stole my car. The person (caused) my car to be stolen (effect). This can have practical value in life, yet is often quite limited to a proximal cause. Upon closer inspection cause begins to expand to include many variables. This can give a more holistic view of a situation. For example what are all the variables in our community that is (collectively causes) car theft. Again, this can have practical value. Upon deeper inspection, the cause inputs expands into infinity - as do all things. 

[SoonHei]

@Serotoninluv love it

thanks...

all ultimately back tracks to infinity 

indeed