Head in the clouds.

[Uncover]

Hello,

I often find myself thinking a lot about all sorts of things and losing the moments. When it's something important I tend to think a lot about it and eventually it becomes an anxiety even though it isn't necessarily a bad thing. I thought I have memory loses. Then I realized that I wasn't thinking at all about the thing I was going to do in the next 10 minutes so I forgot about it. My head was in an entire other dimension.

E.g. I was grocery shopping with my girlfriend. I bought 2 chocolate bars and I thought to myself that I will give one to her. After I paid, we went to our homes holding hands and kissing. We parted ways and I completely forgot about the chocolate. Or, the moment she came to my place. I said that I'll give her a plate of mine that she liked very much. Again, we talked and kissed and I completely forgot about the plate.

And there are other examples of things I forget about around her. And maybe not just around her. I thought/think I had/have a memory problem..? Or the problem is that I'm all the time in my head creating my reality and anxieties? What should I do to be more present? I just can't. I'm constantly thinking about something and making all kinds of scenarios. I tried to meditate but in that silence I get even more lost in the ocean of thoughts. 
I think that this is something that adds to my sexual anxiety and sexual performance problems. I'm in my head making scenarios about how I'll cum early (and it usually comes true and we're both pretty disappointed) instead of making love to my girl. 

Advice appreciated

Uncover

[OctagonOctopus]

I would really suggest keeping a journal, set some time aside in your day to just write about all your worries and fantasies. Constantly telling yourself I am not my thoughts can snowball into disconnection from them. Also realize that every time you try to stop your thoughts another thought arises, surrender to this, one cannot stop thoughts one can only observe them, don't judge them in any way this creates more thoughts, accept them for what they are and watch them drift away like bubbles underwater. 

Edited July 24, 2019 by OctagonOctopus

[Forestluv]

@Uncover

The love and kindness of buying your gf a chocolate bar is a wonderful trait. Forgetting to actually give it to her is secondary.

And there are two ways of looking at it. . . Perhaps you forgot to give it to her because you were present with her in the moment, sharing time together.

On the other hand, forgetfulness can cause practical problems - stuff like forgetting her birthday or forgetting to feed the dog is more problematic. You could use a notepad. One thing I do is occasionally pause through the day and ask “Am I forgetting something?”. Sometimes, this jogs my memory.

[Neorez]

@Uncover I get ya! I'm struggling with the same problem of forgetting. While my girlfriend tends not to forget anything. Use the calendar on your phone to keep track of the bigger things. I found some remembering techniques quit useful. I see that you are already good at constructing ideas and images, you could use this thing that is holding you back for your advantage. Look up the "mind castle" technique, where you construct a place or use your own home in your mind a place objects in them so you won't forget. For example, you walk through the door and go to the living room. On the table, you imagine a giant chocolate bar and on the sofa is your girlfriend sitting. Have regular check-ins at your mind castle to review everything you should be remembering. Make this a habit and strengthen your mindfulness, this will also help. 

[JustThinkingAloud]

What I found is that our mind has a limit. If you get distracted, focus or think a lot, you forget other things. What do you think about? Do you move on or is it repetitive? I always like to sort my thoughts out every day.

Some ways how not to forget things is to focus on it, do it right away, write it down, set a reminder. Don’t try to remember too many things, only the important ones.