If I commit suicide, will anyone else suffer?

[Rilles]

What is the fundamental problem that is causing you pain? Go into that. 

[possibilities]

One of the only problems I see here is that you have been convinced by something you can't be completely sure of.

This is the trap of all those that fall into nihilistic depression, including those that are unthinkingly devout ________ and it "makes them feel wonderful" (which is.... Wink, wink... The real reason why they believe the things they do, at least for a lot of them).

My only advice is to practice training your mind to avoid making assumptions and being convinced by things with an unquestioning mind.

Seek inside, discover what is true to you deep down, work to avoid falseness.

Peace and best wishes.

 

Edited July 26, 2019 by possibilities

[Shaun]

33 minutes ago, Rilles said:

What is the fundamental problem that is causing you pain? Go into that. 

My actions are meaningless and a waste of time as there is no recipient of my love or actions. With that, reality is null and void and doesn't need to be here. It is a sick game which needs to be stopped. 

[possibilities]

5 minutes ago, Shaun said:

My actions are meaningless and a waste of time as there is no recipient of my love or actions. With that, reality is null and void and doesn't need to be here. It is a sick game which needs to be stopped. 

Just 2 cents:

I would recommend you don't deny those thoughts either, meaning don't suppress them, instead I'd recommend questioning them in a sincere and compassionate manner.

Posing questions like, "I know I feel this way right now, and I'm very certain about this but what is evidence to the contrary?

How can I maintain this question in my mind to find disconfirming evidence without allowing this part of myself to have control of me while still recognising that I need to give a voice to the aspect of myself that feels this way right now?

How can I show love and compassion to this aspect of myself while at the same time, treating this aspect of myself like I would someone I love and care about?"

Edited July 26, 2019 by possibilities

[Rilles]

7 minutes ago, Shaun said:

My actions are meaningless and a waste of time as there is no recipient of my love or actions. With that, reality is null and void and doesn't need to be here. It is a sick game which needs to be stopped. 

Why is there no recipient?

Reality is null and void? Why is that?

Why does it not need to be here?

Why is it a sick game?

 

Is it possible that you think reality is this way and so it become so in your eyes?

How was your childhood? Is there any connection to how you feel?

 

You need to go deeper. Youre still on the periphery. 

[Nahm]

@Shaun As you know, the whole world is your love. Everyone is the recipient of your love. You are Love and bliss itself (nonduality).

[OctagonOctopus]

@Nahm 
 

@Shaun
So then the question becomes, "How does this being want to express its love right now?"

Edited July 26, 2019 by OctagonOctopus

[Shadowraix]

2 hours ago, Shaun said:

My actions are meaningless and a waste of time as there is no recipient of my love or actions. With that, reality is null and void and doesn't need to be here. It is a sick game which needs to be stopped. 

This is the kind of corruption to teachings I was talking about. 

You do not understand what is being said and it will do you no good to take it on blind faith. This is why this is a path of self discovery. You'll have to go deeper if you actually wish to know. 

[theking00]

Enlightenment is the only way out.  

[Nexeternity]

@Shaun   Hey man!   I hope you dont do it.  Suicide hurts all of us.

A month ago I was on a subway and a kid jumped.  I saw many people crying and I myself felt horrible.

Then there is all the good you can still do.  Usually when people that are depressed make it through they have much richer emotional systems then other people who were never depressed.

It will all end up playing in your favor in the end.

Hope you feel better soon.

[Manjushri]

Why does it hurt THAT much that you want to end it and just not go along for the ride Shaun? 

[Rilles]

Whatever hole youre in there is always a way out. There are people who have been abused and tortured for years and have normal lives today. Im not saying that to diminish your suffering, just to encourage you. : )

[Shaun]

5 minutes ago, Manjushri said:

Why does it hurt THAT much that you want to end it and just not go along for the ride Shaun? 

5 hours ago, Rilles said:

 

It's just all the shit I have to experience in this life and countless future lives. I don't want to experience dying in a plane crash or being burned alive. Can you not see how totally fucked up relality is? It's an infinite unstoppable torture system and any claims made that child abuse, murder and all the rest of it are divine acts of love are coming from a place of delusion and denial. 

[Natasha]

@Shaun Name 10 things you are grateful for.

Also, you're taking life too seriously. Laugh more. Check out my Enlightenment Jokes thread

[Rilles]

17 minutes ago, Shaun said:

It's just all the shit I have to experience in this life and countless future lives. I don't want to experience dying in a plane crash or being burned alive. Can you not see how totally fucked up relality is? It's an infinite unstoppable torture system and any claims made that child abuse, murder and all the rest of it are divine acts of love are coming from a place of delusion and denial. 

I think you should focus on your own wellbeing. Too much Enlightenment talk can become very depressing. Besides... Noone said you have to believe everything Leo says. Even he said that, if you havent experienced the Absolute then you dont know what he means by Infinite Torture or Infinite Bliss. 

[OctagonOctopus]

@Shaun

From the perspective you are mentioning right now, suicide is pointless, if one has infinite lives then why not make the best of all of them one by one? 
You couldn't possibly know the future, you can only visualize the most wonderful possible future and build it. 

All these things you mention come from love, this might sound sick but if someone rapes someone they did it out of love of sex, or pleasure, etc. They love in a very low consciousness way. 

What is making one fear love?

Edited July 26, 2019 by OctagonOctopus

[Chrissy j]

     I understand where your coming from. But I have to tell you that your overthinking it. All these spiritual teachings, from Leo to Eckhart Tolle to Osho to Buddha are all just POINTERS! Everything Leo is talking about can only be understood by direct consciousness of it. Your saying everything is meaningless but that is a meaning itself. You are saying there’s nobody to receive your gifts, which is another idea your creating about nonduality, and it’s just that—an idea. You say there is infinite torture, but what about the infinite positive experiences? You need experience to really understand what is being said here. Without the direct consciousness, you don’t have anything. When you experience it, you realize everything that these people are saying is just a map, just an idea, and not true. It can be useful to keep you motivated to go deeper, and entertaining, but it shouldn’t be taken seriously. Nonduality can be very beautiful! My experiences of enlightenment really took away my nihilism I got from these teachings and took away the negative ideas I had about enlightenment. You realize that it’s all good, and that all your ideas about enlightenment from the theory you read is bs. Go and find meaning in your life. It sounds like you need it. Right now there is negative meanings, but you need to go and do things that you find meaningful in a positive way. Find you top values and do those things. Do things you find passion in. Maybe read “mans search for meaning” by Victor E Frankl.

     Too also keep it real with you, if you did kill yourself, you will absolutely ruin the life’s of some of the people around you. I know if I did, my parents life would be ruined beyond repair. People that lose their kids aren’t ever the same it seems like.   

     Your life can be beautiful my man. I know right now feels so hard, but if you push on through you can create something great with your life. I’ve gone from a miserable life to a much better life, and it was hard. But it was absolutely worth it. You will be so thankful down the road that you stuck it out and made your life good! This life can be amazing. If I did it you can too. You have so much power within yourself. I know that you can do it, no doubt about it.

     I’d also say for now to avoid Leo’s teachings on nonduality. It’s just not practical and it’s causing you lots of pain it seems like. To be honest, at this point it’s just mental masterbation for me, you, and most of his audience. Fuck the theory, just meditate and do self inquiry. Get real experiences. Also psychedelics are a great and life changing option. But make sure there is no predisposed mental illness like bipolar in your family and really do research on them before you take them. Start with small doses And work your way up. And have a trip sitter you really trust in a good set and setting. Psychedelics are no joke and can really fuck people up so be responsible. But they can be absolutely beautiful and life changing. If you want a teaching maybe do something like “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle. Maybe do some more basic personal development and self help. Go out and do pick up, work on your subconscious mind, or work on your self esteem. Also I would say go get some help. I think talking things out with a therapist could do you good. It really sounds like you need professional help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s brave to be vulnerable and seek help. And go find a different job. I know how it feels to have an ass job. Shit sucks the life out of you.

      And last but not least, go out and live life! Go catch a concert! Go hang out with some friends! Date around! Do positive things. Go towards positive things. Think yourself towards posititivity. Go do a hobby or some passion! Go set up a hammock in the forest! Go exercise. Go explore your country. Love life and live life! There’s so much you can do. So many diverse activities to enjoy and explore. It’s all good my man. I promise you that you can change everything and make this life a piece of art. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by Chrissy j
Added

[JustThinkingAloud]

If this life is a dream why not to make it a happy dream rather than a nightmare. You have all the knowledge and skills to create happiness for yourself and others so why to choose suffering! It’s the same effort to be happy as to suffer but happiness has much bigger rewards. It’s all up to you! Giving up might not solve anything at all, you might even create more suffering for yourself and others.

Here’s my take on happiness. It’s old and unpolished but it might help.

http://justthinkingaloud7.blogspot.com/

[possibilities]

Just to me:

None of our ideas are us or even, anything at all in many respects.

It can be existentially numbing, even infuriating to realise this (I.e. that not only all our thoughts aren’t ours but that nothing is necessarily fulfilling any one kindness in quality like purpose). But in the inner exploration of reformatting that world of frustration, pain and loss, we can be illuminated through the loss of everything, including ourselves. For the ultimate illumination is not the realisation of some great intellectual feat, although that can be fun, or some romantic love, although that can make one feel warm, sentimental and purposeful, or some grand adventure, even though that can test one’s limits, build confidence and even make one feel unstoppable. It is the illumination of nothing, that is, that there is so much illumination that nothing can be seen, therefore there is nothing to cling onto, no teaching to hang one’s hat on, no single idea of God, person, faith, meaning, purpose, love or goal to appear as one’s reflection in the mirror. 

To me this seems like the bridge that is hardest for nihilists to cross, the bridge to no where towards the light of nothing as opposed to the attachment to the idea that there is nothing.

 

 

Edited July 27, 2019 by possibilities

[JustThinkingAloud]

1 hour ago, possibilities said:

Just to me:

None of our ideas are us or even, anything at all in many respects.

It can be existentially numbing, even infuriating to realise this (I.e. that not only all our thoughts aren’t ours but that nothing is necessarily fulfilling any one kindness in quality like purpose). But in the inner exploration of reformatting that world of frustration, pain and loss, we can be illuminated through the loss of everything, including ourselves. For the ultimate illumination is not the realisation of some great intellectual feat, although that can be fun, or some romantic love, although that can make one feel warm, sentimental and purposeful, or some grand adventure, even though that can test one’s limits, build confidence and even make one feel unstoppable. It is the illumination of nothing, that is, that there is so much illumination that nothing can be seen, therefore there is nothing to cling onto, no teaching to hang one’s hat on, no single idea of God, person, faith, meaning, purpose, love or goal to appear as one’s reflection in the mirror. 

To me this seems like the bridge that is hardest for nihilists to cross, the bridge to no where towards the light of nothing as opposed to the attachment to the idea that there is nothing.

 

 

I know that your aim is to find all the right answers and think that if you twist it enough so no one can understand and therefore can’t dispute, you win. We can all make up things in our heads as to what “reality” is but as long that there’s no proof, it’s all just opinions. You can’t tell anyone what is correct or incorrect without an undisputable proof. If you want your life to be empty, that’s all up to you! But I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s a waste.