Questioning limiting beliefs

[Gohabsgo]

I want to know how you guys go about letting go of beliefs that you’re aware of holding you back.

for example I hold a strong belief that if a girl gets to know me she will lose interest/not like me. 

I can play out scenarios in my mind of this belief causing avoidant behaviour and such.

im going to make an attempt at this now by asking and answering questions to myself, and hopefully when I come back here I’ll learn some tips about how you guys let go of beliefs. Thanks

[Gili Trawangan]

The most limiting belief is the belief that you are a body-mind in the world.

Question that belief and eventually you will understand exactly what a belief is. Those other beliefs cannot stand and will fall off on their own once you realize that you are already IT.

[possibilities]

Yeah run towards the insecurity, learn about it, study it. That’s what tends to work best for the body-mind based on what my body-mind has experienced. 

[JustThinkingAloud]

I prove myself wrong. How do I know that every girl in the whole world will lose interest/not like me? Have I met them all to be sure about that? 

[Elisabeth]

Write it down, and write down why it's not true. 

Try Byron Katie's process "The work". 

Sit with the emotional charge that that belief has, just feel it and see if you can let some of it go. 

[possibilities]

This might be useful. I made two responses there.

 

[Spence94]

On ‎25‎/‎07‎/‎2019 at 6:40 PM, Elisabeth said:

 

" Sit with the emotional charge that that belief has, just feel it and see if you can let some of it go. "

I agree with @Elisabeth . Awareness is the answer. When you do a process such as the work and investigate your beliefs through questioning they will release. You have to do it consciously and do not try and rush though it. Question them deeply and sit with and observe the feelings surrounding the belief and that arise through this process. Often you will literally feel a sense of letting go and releasing  through this process. It is pretty simple really, but it takes consciousness, patience and willingness. I feel after nearly 4 years of meditation and life experiences I am only just getting over my resistance to facing my limiting beliefs head on as well as actually having the level of awareness to sit with the beliefs and the emotions that accompany them and be able to carry out the process affectively. It is simple but it is it not always easy, however there is also an element of satisfaction, peace and joy that comes through the letting go process, so enjoy!

[Forestluv]

On 7/24/2019 at 0:06 AM, Gohabsgo said:

for example I hold a strong belief that if a girl gets to know me she will lose interest/not like me. 

I would be mindful of the mind’s tendency to see in opposites and thinking that if a belief is false, then the opposite must be true. This can obscure understanding nuances. For example, the statement above is partially true, partially false. Some girls that get to know you will maintain their interest and may become more interested in you. Other girls will lose interest as they get to know you. And some girls may initially lack interest yet become interested as they get to know you. That’s how it is for everyone.

The problem with saying one belief is false assumes the opposite belief is true. Believing in the opposite can also cause a problem. Saying girls will lose interest is delusional. Yet saying “this isn’t true!” and believing that girls will maintain interest is also delusional. This opposite belief will also cause confusion and frustration.

The key is that there is an underlying assumption of a duality. That all girls will lose interest or that all girls will maintain interest. When confronted on this, the mind may think “well, I didn’t mean *all* girls would lose interest”. Yet if we’re honest, that is the underlying assumption the mind and body is oriented and experiencing.

Notice how changing the orientation can entirely change the context and feeling:

— Girls will lose interest in me if they get to know me

— Some girls will lose interest in me if they get to know me and some girls will stay interested in me if they get to know me.

— No girl will lose interest in me if she gets to know me

These are very different orientations. Personally, I think the second orientation is the healthiest.