The Mother Complex

[MasterNigel]

     Id like to start a topic which I think is in some way relatable to all western men. Can a man go forth into the world and give it all he's got in the fight for his material desires, while still having a safety net of comfort and approval waiting for him at home? Or will his efforts always be lacking and limited because subconsciously he knows, that if he fails he can just retreat back to his safe place in the room he grew up in at his parents house? Its known in psychology as the mother complex. Does a man have to leave behind his original place of shelter and recources which he was born into, in order to be a fully developed, whole, actualized, or complete man? Does it limit him in his quest for material wealth if he does not?

  Id be interested to know what your thoughts are on this subject.

[kieranperez]

@MasterNigel what’s your relationship with your mom and what was your relationship like in your adolescent years? Who did you have a better relationship with, your mom or your dad? How stable was your family life in your childhood and teenage years? What was your relationship like with your dad?

Answer, if you wish, in any way you feel comfortable that’s still authentic and genuinely honest.

[hamedsf]

I didn't get your point completely but whatever suits you is the best path to take! 

if you're still attached to your parent and parent's house and their approval, you haven't progressed and developed yet. 

go out to fight for your material desires and once you fail, accept yourself fully (not approval from others) and start again! 

if you're seeking for your comfort bubble, create it by yourself, both in terms of place and mental.

[MisterNoodle]

    I was raised by a single mother as an only child, a common case of an overbearing mother and lack of a masculine or alpha male kind of father figure. I still live at home and my relationship with my mother is fine. As I progress in personal development It feels like something about this situation could be holding me back in my goals around money. I mean technically it shouldent, in fact its been an advantage being able to save the money i would otherwise spend on rent. Id like to hear more of your backstories and situations and if you’ve moved out early or not.

Thank you all for your input

[possibilities]

@MasterNigel Nope. It’s purely dependent on upbringing. Upbringing is basically one side of the competition equation with respect to compatibility and survivability weighed against external forces, external forces describe the other half. So in as much as those forces outcompete the upbringing of the person, they will at least do something analogous to “retreating home”. This scenario is no different to any competitive interaction, at least when played intelligently. A gazelle will try to retreat from the positive movements from a lion because it is physically inferior to the lion and because it’s intelligence and corresponding lessons are not greater than or equal to the level required to defeat the lion. The same can be said for football games between two teams, boxing matches, debates between two presidential candidates and so on. It is all about the balance between internal and external forces with respect to the environments larger competitive outcomes. You’re a part of a competitive game that very few have the balls to be honest when it comes to properly talking about it, let alone have good comprehension of it. Good luck.

Edited July 24, 2019 by possibilities

[JustThinkingAloud]

We do try harder when we don’t have a safety net but the quality is not there (at least in my case). I had to support myself and had to do things that paid more money so I can pay my bills. In your case, you’ve got an opportunity to invest in yourself well and learn things well without being pushed to do things to survive. Once you’re ready and your investment pays out, you’ll leave and learn whatever is necessary to be independent.

[whatishappeningtome]

Learning to be independent from your parents seems like something you cannot forgo. I moved out of my Dad's home 1 year ago and its forced me to learn things like budgeting, earning more in my business and valuing time a whole lot more. There's a lot to learn by going out on your own.