How to Find Actualized Partners

[Amy Irene]

Hi everyone! <3

I'm sure that this has been discussed before but because I didn't find anything relevant by using the search, I thought it would be fun to start a conversation about this.

So I wonder how to find more "actualizing" partners. I am not saying that I am actualized myself but I'm working on it. It would be nice to find like-minded people who are interested in growing as a person and doing things the right way. I just don't know where to find them and how.

I just feel like I'm not being understood by people who are living mediocre lives, I feel like there must be people somewhere who would value similar things as I do. I surely do get crushes to the "mediocre minded people" and might have relationships with them, but it never lasts long because of the vast differences in the way of seeing things. I'd like to know someone who values things like meditation, self-help, philosophy, fitness, intimacy/tantra, unconditional love and making right choices. Let's make a fun discussion : )

Love you all <3

~~Amy

[NoSelfSelf]

Wow you just mentioned everything i love

I feel what you are saying...

[ajasatya]

Genuine self-actualized are quite rare. You better be ready for a lonely walk before expecting to find a partner. Make good use of your time while you're alone and master the fundamentals.

[JustThinkingAloud]

Maybe find places where people like that would go. Seminars, courses etc.

[d0ornokey]

Check meetup.com, in a lot of areas, mainly cities, there are tons of self-improvement, etc. events. NYC is literally fuckin poppin with these events. Seminars, talks, networking events, meditation classes, yoga classes, discussions, hiking trail events etc. etc. 

Also, the cover of this book is a cool quote: 

 

https://books.google.com/books/about/Friend_of_a_Friend.html?id=RIEsDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description

 

[Amy Irene]

I didn't mean that I'm self-actualized yet but I'd rather like to meet someone who would like to grow together.

I guess I need to start looking for seminars, discussions, etc. that were mentioned but it's kinda difficult to get started because I'm not sure what kind of events I'm exactly looking for.

It would make sense that there must be more people who are still finding their way to become self-actualized than people who already are. I just don't know where they're hiding.

And also, I live in Finland so the seminars, dating apps and pretty much everything is harder to find, because we have smaller population and therefore the scene is smaller.

[hamedsf]

well put! nice idea!

well, I don't agree on ajasatya's viewpoint because if the relationship is more functional and healthy, it'd help for two persons to grow themselves psychologically/consciously! 

I should invent a dating app for the self-actualizers to find each other and hook up together!  haha

[NoSelfSelf]

@hamedsf Society is fucked if we dont start to produce self actualizing babies from self actualized couples...you got a life purpose..

[hamedsf]

@NoSelfSelf  Yup, you're right!

but apart from reproduction, It'd be fascinating to see my girlfriend also watches actualized.org episodes and comprehend them to a tee, the main point is to find the person who is on the same wavelength! 

[OctagonOctopus]

5 hours ago, hamedsf said:

I should invent a dating app for the self-actualizers to find each other and hook up together!  haha

That is a great idea! I would use your app whenever I decide to go back into the dating scene. 

Edited July 22, 2019 by OctagonOctopus

[Aeris]

1 hour ago, OctagonOctopus said:

That is a great idea! I would use your app whenever I decide to go back into the dating scene. 

CV : very super enlightened master, looking for his servant stage blue for some inner work.

[Azote]

On 21.07.2019 at 10:51 PM, Amy Irene said:

I didn't find anything relevant by using the search

Try member search

[Amy Irene]

I'm a computer science student, so maybe I should start developing "actualized" dating apps with you : P

To be honest, I kinda like OkCupid, because it allows you to know quite a lot about the users. But there's like no Finnish users there, so no luck for me there, unless I'd be up for a LDR.

But back to the original topic, I'd like to hear if you know any places where to meet people who are interested in "actualized" lifestyle.

[bejapuskas]

@Amy Irene  If I was a stage green and above guy, where would I go? 

[Damien]

@Amy Irene Here are a few places I have met some self-actualizing fellows: debate club, hitchhiking association, Wim Hof training, yoga class, people transitioning out of extreme athletic practices into the spiritual, psychedelic retreats, vipassana retreats and meetup group, stage yellow conferences (psychedelics, integral theory, energy fields), survival training in the wild. 

The common thread is that people taking part in these activities are willing to grow and learn.

I also share what I am up to with my friends and acquaintances. Over the year many people I already knew blossomed into a new stage and grew closer to me when they, for example, got interested in fasting or psychedelics. This always feels like a wink from the universe.

I hope this inspires you in your search.

 

[Michael569]

On 22/07/2019 at 2:38 PM, Aeris said:

CV : very super enlightened master, looking for his servant stage blue for some inner work.

Yours Faithfully, 
The Devil

[NyctoManiac]

I think sometimes it would be better to let go of the need of being with someone or being in a relationship and focus on yourself instead. Because if you're constantly filtering and looking for someone nice, you become impatient and needy about it and you might eventually lower your expectations and find a guy who is actually not your type and it might take you time to find that out and that would make you feel bad about it. So instead, I'm suggesting that you focus on improving yourself and that improvement would eventually work out and send "signs" to guys who care about this stuff and like to be with this type of person ?

[OctagonOctopus]

@NyctoManiac

First the caterpillar makes a cocoon, then it becomes a butterfly and dances with the others. 

[Howard]

Over time, you will attract more people in your life who are into similar concepts and values as you. Friends, communities, romantic partners, etc.

[NyctoManiac]

@OctagonOctopus

Beautifully described