'Carrot and stick' model questioned after watching 'You aren't happy because you...'

[Amadeusz]

I'm in difficult time in my life which made me start this topic. I've posted it also as a first post in my journal, but since this section is more popular maybe someone will help me to tackle this...

So basically the thing I want to conteplate here is the video 'You are not happy because you don't really want to be'. I've been living this carrot and stick motivation model since a few years now. And it worked well! I feel like I found my life purpose and I started to tackle my problems and generally pushing upwards carrer wise, spiritual wise and so on. But then I started doubting. After that trip in January i ignored that feeling and just continued to keep my 'carrot and stick structure'. And then again I had 6 months of RESULTS! This system worked well, but after my last trip this week I started doubting again. And now Im stunted. I kinda realise that I don't motivate myself with inner desire but with this carrot and stick. Bad feelings keep me doing 'right stuff' during the day and rewards are to motivate me to do 'right stuff'. The problem is that this 'right stuff' could be artificial goals that I don't really want to do.

But you know it's complicated because like I said I found this 'life purpose' after buying the course and I feel big satisfaction doing it (music). BUT at the same time if I let to do myself to do whatever I want it's not so sure I would pursue music... So this satisfaction... Maybe it's an illusion? Maybe I like the feeling of completing the music goal but it's still not authentic? On the other hand I like doing all this music shit like recording videos, singing and so on, of course I also have times when I don't like it and I'm lazy.

What can I do in this situation? 

Basic strategy for this kind of problem is to... let go of these motivations, obligations. Bad feeling comes? Just ignore it. Don't act. Wait for authentic desire. I did it in the past. And you know, sometimes I started like Leo says, with bad habits but then the motivation kicked in and I've started to do conscious and productive things too, like sports, music, creating websites and so on. But you know there was some of these good things but generally I was a lazy slug, played computer games 2-3 hours a day and consciousness was low. I don't know maybe if I continued to do it, then I would immerse myself in these good, healthy motivations full on? But my experiment lasted for 1 year and I was rather unhappy, I lived in my parents house, my discipline was shitty and I've decided to come back to this carrot and stick model.

Now after I had this trip last weekend I've been back in this authentic motivation paradigm again after 2 years... It's scary. I feel like my life's falling apart. All my healthy habits are just crushing, all my music habits. Fortunately since the paradigm shift I still do a lot of sports and I keep my meditation habit in place.

The vision of being famous musician is my fucking dream, it's like super important. But at the same time if I let to do whatever the fuck I want I would probably? Go to travel with my BIKE? 

I would build Solar Ebike like here 

 

and I would travel through Europe and let myself to do whatever I want...

How could I try to tackle this problem? You know, living for one month in this 'authentic desire paradigm' could tell me a lot, but at the same time each day is super important and I liked my carrot and stick paradigm but also I'm a slave to it and it's structure. I'm stunted and inflexible. Such month would make me more flexible and maybe will help me resolve this problem. But at the end of the day I feel that I will be this lazy slob again...

What do you think guys? Any tips or ideas?

 

Edited July 20, 2019 by Amadeusz

[JustThinkingAloud]

You really need to want whatever your main goal is. It needs to feel good, just thinking about getting it should spark great feelings. Also, it’s not just all happy actions to get there, sometimes you have to do what you don’t like doing to get there so you need to focus on your main goal and use that great feeling to give you the motivation to get through it. Sometimes, when we’re not having any progress towards the goal, we can start questioning whether it’s all worth it. Find things to do that put you closer to your goal and celebrate every progress towards it, it will help to motivate you too. Of course, if you need a break, do it. Use it to review what you want and how to go about getting it. Good luck!