Own Business/going Independent - Where To Start?

[appleaurorae]

I have even problems to form a sentence for this post. It will be a question.

Already in high school, I was thinking with my two buddies on starting a business before A-levels (exams after high school which give you points for universities) and going independent. We were having tons of ideas, especially for websites. Usually, I was the head and initiator of it. And as quickly as the ideas came, the same quickly they were abandoned. After several months I got into mobile game development. I had often made games just for fun, to share with buddies. So, that looked like finally best of both worlds: doing something I like (enough) and can and getting paid for it. I have already published some on Android and now doing remake of one of them.

And here begins the problem. Whenever I start something, I rapidly lose interest. Then the interest is back and and then again vanishes. I only finish and publish projects which are simple, crappy and not polished. Also, sometimes when I have that awesome killer idea, I start doing, using all the energy, focus, and when I am halfway done - meh, it won't be interesting, nobody will like it.

For today I know, it's not a business way for me. I made about $100 in 5 years on it. However, it's the only thing I can make that is my private product and I can share it anyhow. Simply, it's the most satisfying for me thing I can do, but I feel there's something better out there I am meant to do. Surely in the meantime, I am working half-time as an intern in a corporation, not a job I hate but I might give it 6/10. The university is far worse, if I was a psycho, I would have already burned the sh*t down (well, once a student with an axe attacked a lecturer there).

I don't know what to do, where to go, how to behave. As often happens. And the clock is ticking. I am afraid of that guilt that I didn't even try.

[Henri]

@appleaurorae You doubt a lot and losing interest is just something coming out of that doubt.

Faith, love, beauty and truth are a hundred times more powerful than the doubt. So there is a lack of those qualities and that`s mainly because you are not practising your spiritual work enough.

Only some pranayamas and the doubt will be gone. So easy...

[appleaurorae]

@Henri I do meditate twice a day, do ceremonial magick at least once. However, you might be right, sometimes when I feel like to "I need to extra meditate now", I rarely do it.

[Tancrede Pouyat]

@appleaurorae Give yourself a Project. It doesn't have to be something you're really passionate about. It doesn't have to be a full-blown life purpose. It doesn't have to be something you carefully optimised so it's in sync with your values, strengths, zone of genius, and ideal medium. It doesn't even need to be something work-related, maybe all you need is to get back in touch with what it means to be doing something that you like. All it has to be is something that you want to do. Something you're motivated toward, don't just be moving away from pain. Something that you can see will benefit your life, and maybe other people's life as well (not needed).

My point is do something. Anything. Put in a habit of working on it regularly. You need to get some traction going, get the snowball rolling, keep it rolling by having the habit, and eventually, it'll become bigger than what you ever imagined.

[Tomek]

What is motivated you? Money? fame? Independence?
What is anti motivated you? Fear of the failure? Someone's words or statements? Boring?
Create what you want to create. And finish it. Then you will feel that awesome feeling. You will be better than others, smarter, better, in good meaning. Try it. Its addicting.

In some book i read (I dont remember title):
"You always can give up, in every minute. But why now?"

I suggested to read a book "The millionaire fastlane" De Marco
It is a book not good written, but the message is the most important. Its perfect for you.

[appleaurorae]

@Tancrede Pouyat @Tomek Many thanks for supportive words ;). I think I know what to do now, but it's still risky: just linking to my blog, because it's somehow explained there https://inneraurora.wordpress.com/2016/05/05/back-on-track/. Today, as I wrote, was horrible but I won't waste this 1,5 hour of day left. Off to writing my game.

[Tomek]

@appleaurorae  Risk is a word to scare weak people. Risk is getting smaller when knowledge, wisdom and inteligence getting higher. Keep it real.