Fear to hurt someone . What is it ?

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

Hi everyone. 

I've noticed that i often find my self in a limbo of fear to hurt someone psychologically with my decisions. I do not have the courage to go foward , i stay stuck with fear to hurt.

I've also thought that the fear to hurt someone is basically the fear that i will suffer making a particular decision. 

What can you tell me about this mechanism? And what do you think is the correlation between this and the EGO ? 

Thank you very much . Sorry for my English .

Blessings.

 

[dvdas]

i have exactly the same problem.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

6 minutes ago, dvdas said:

i have exactly the same problem.

How was it in your childhood ? 

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@Keyhole Yes could probably be . Be it is more with important decisions like ending a relationship and so on 

32 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

Harm OCD maybe?  You'd have to look it up and see if it fits your situation.

43 minutes ago, dvdas said:

 

[Truth Addict]

Meditate and breathe.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

25 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

Meditate and breathe.

I'm doing it but nothing changes that much 

[Apparition of Jack]

You are God. You are creating reality. By not wanting to harm another person (who you're imagining) even when you know it's the right decision to make, you will keep yourself bonded to that fear.

Other people are surprisingly resilient. Even if they are hurt by decisions you make, so long as you do it from a place of love and truth, they will accept and understand them. It might even inspire them to make hard decisions they have been putting off themselves.

[Truth Addict]

@Giulio Bevilacqua

Well, here's a harsh fact: you can't avoid hurting others.

You are in a constant battle against everything else in order to stay who you are. This fear that you are feeling is a weapon the ego uses to hide that fact from you.

Just let loose and don't take thoughts seriously, because (and this is critical) you are hurting yourself and others through that fear.

Imagine what you could do for yourself and others if stopped fearing. A leader does not fear. A leader knows what's best for himself and others.

[Forestluv]

@Apparation of Jack It could be prior conditioning of taking responsibility for others’ feelings/experiences. Could be related to empathy. 

[Shadowraix]

Until your perception of how you and the other person feels merges into one, I would first think that such fears go straight back to it being about you. Being disliked by someone ultimately hurts your survival as we are a very social species. The desire to be liked, wanted, and avoid harm to others is all a result of this. Then when people inflict on your survival, we get upset at them, we feel hurt and end up disliking them or staying away. This in turn makes them have fears about hurting others. Its a constant push and tug mechanic which helped us know boundaries and work together as a singular unit. You hurt me, I don't like that, and you don't like the impact. It gets corrected. I hurt you, you don't like that, I don't like the impact. It gets corrected.

As far as survival goes, its a pretty smart circular reference to encourage constant improvement to behavior. Of course there are many other mechanisms that can break this circle from being a circle and more like a bunch of squiggles that eventually connect.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

46 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

@Giulio Bevilacqua

Well, here's a harsh fact: you can't avoid hurting others.

You are in a constant battle against everything else in order to stay who you are. This fear that you are feeling is a weapon the ego uses to hide that fact from you.

Just let loose and don't take thoughts seriously, because (and this is critical) you are hurting yourself and others through that fear.

Imagine what you could do for yourself and others if stopped fearing. A leader does not fear. A leader knows what's best for himself and others.

Yes you are right, it's like the phisical death you can not avoid it.