What do you think of me?

[noip]

I’ve been having bad flare-ups of social anxiety lately where I think everyone hates me. The reality is they are likely indifferent, but deep down I think I’m highly unpopular and ostracized, and I really want to just ask people “What do you really think of me?”

 questions— 

1. What suggestions do you have of what I can do to improve this?

2. What do you really think of me? 

3. Would it be a good idea to actually ask people this? Or would it be weird?

[Zigzag Idiot]

It specifically sounds like what's referred to as Inner considering from the Fourth Way and its terminology . I've observed it a lot in myself. It's actually a neurotic tendency that one can work on over time.

 

[Psyche_92]

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you. Everything that someone else thinks of you, is a projection upon you from their subjective reality. The same goes for you. Everything that you think about someone else has nothing to do with them, but everything about you and your subjective reality being projected onto them.

[Rilles]

yeah asking others what they think is not gonna help you because everyone has different opionions, you need to learn to love yourself, build some solid values, some solid boundaries etc

[Sunny J Gupta]

@noip After doing a lot of emotional mastery work from Leo's books for a while, I can see that these are just internal emotional issues you are facing. 

My suggestion is this:

1) Face it head on. That can sound a bit confusing but I mean just sit with the feeling, recognize that YOU are not the feeling, and practice allowing the feeling to be with you or letting the feelings go. It can help to sit with a journal and write your thoughts down, and realize that these are just feelings, and they are not you. 

2) Sounds like you care too much about what people think. Start socializing, talking to more people, and making more/better friends. 

[ajasatya]

@noip I think that you worry too much about what others think of you.

[SerpaeTetra]

I've watched this video a couple times, since I've had the same problem.  Helped tremendously.

[Nahm]

@noip Decide what you want to do, believe in yourself, and do it. 

[possibilities]

Have compassion, love and empathy for yourself. Repeat this meditation.

Best wishes.

[RichardY]

@noip It shouldn't matter. But as I don't you, I can't have an opinion. Try being bold, if you post anonymously what does it matter.

What are you looking to get by asking the question?

[Billy Shears]

People are too busy with themselves to think about other people for more than 5 seconds.

[RichardY]

Should be "know" you. In my previous post, my bad.

[BjarkeT]

i am not sure if this is the case with you but one of the reasons you think this might because you are afraid to talk to people due to social anxiety and when you don't talk to people you dont' get the impression of what they think about you which may cause a side effect of you thinking that they don't like you. I have social anxiety as well and I feel like the period when I try to avoid contact with people it can sometimes create a negative impression on them. If you talk more to people i think you will get a better impression of them and may find out that they like you. 

[Litaken]

This may sound harsh at first but facing it is the first step to dissolve it which is very very possible! You are projecting your self-hate to others. This self-hate is hidden from your consciousness, because if it wasn't then it wouldn't be able to control you. The answer: Love yourself! Accept yourself as you are! Hate is a way of motivation, but you can see it's effects. Also research the psychological term "ego", Leo prolly has by far the most compact and useful stuff on what it is and how it works.

[Deepconcepts]

I think you're too hard on yourself and no stranger cares about you enough to hate you. Maybe you thinking people hate you shows low confidence and being unconfident creates less attraction. We are all too busy caring about ourselves, even if not then our families and friends. 

Edited August 21, 2019 by Deepconcepts

[Phoenixx]

You should realize that some people ARE assholes and they might devaluate yourself unconsciously/unintentionally because they have ego problems and aren't able to see their own flaws. You, like me, are imperfect creatures and shouldn't feel guilty about what we are. You shouldn't take pride for your qualities either. Just learn to accept that you're a human being and have your own flaws. It's a big mistake to try to fit into anyone's standards.

Edited August 22, 2019 by Phoenixx