LSD trip report - I am THAT

[Gili Trawangan]

I took 100ug.

I am ALL OF REALITY. As the questions about reality are asked “Who am I?”, “What is reality?”, I am THAT. I am the guy asking the questions, the questions themselves and everything around them, all the beliefs in the questions and in their validity and concept, I am all of it. The entirety of it. Nothing is hidden. It is direct, nothing could be more direct. There are no strings, no wires, no mechanics, it’s just happening, unfolding, and I am THAT.

I am REALITY beginning to imagine itself to be somewhere. I am REALITY imagining itself to be a man, with a certain history, living in a foreign country which is located on a planet in the middle of a solar system, somewhere in the universe. I am REALITY asking myself through this person’s mouth if there is anything else that I have not discovered. I am REALITY noticing that soon enough the experience will seem much different than it is now and how that makes ABSOLUTELY no difference. I am REALITY beginning to wonder if it can accept this level of responsibility. I can CREATE anything I want. I am REALITY forgetting that it is all of reality and beginning to doubt whether or not what was experienced could be called “real”. I am REALITY beginning to feel like it is a bunch of separate things, from the perspective of this guy who is now telling himself that he can’t be God. I am REALITY slowly deciding to come back into this separate self and starting to ask questions again. I am REALITY realizing the absurdity of all questions and how the snake eats its own tail.

[Master of disguise]

Did I do this?

[Gili Trawangan]

What does one do with this understanding? I'm mesmerized... 

[SoonHei]

@Gili Trawangan xoxoxoxo

[Master of disguise]

@Gili Trawangan One does only what one does.

[Nahm]

@Gili Trawangan Yep. Nice report! 

It’s not an understanding, the understanding is yourself, appearing as “understanding”. There is no analogy...but consider looking at yourself in the mirror and obviously knowing that’s you...then looking at the mirror itself, equally knowing the mirror is you. There isn’t a you which is everything, except for a mirror, just as there isn’t a you which is everything, except for understanding. 

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

I am REALITY realizing the absurdity of all questions and how the snake eats its own tail.

I love this.

Yes.

[Preetom]

3 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

What does one do with this understanding? I'm mesmerized... 

Exactly. There is nothing left to do, have, become, grasp, reject.

Do you see the nature of desire and mental movement now? The very chase towards something or away from something is the thrill, the adventure, the grind. But once you are complete, its game over.

You can have all the knowledge, wealth, communion, power in all worlds of all times. 

Then once you have it...wait..thats it? ?

All movement aims to reach this repose. Also known as unconditional happiness. Resting in oneself.

 

Edited July 17, 2019 by Preetom

[Conrad]

6 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

I took 100ug.

I am ALL OF REALITY. As the questions about reality are asked “Who am I?”, “What is reality?”, I am THAT. I am the guy asking the questions, the questions themselves and everything around them, all the beliefs in the questions and in their validity and concept, I am all of it. The entirety of it. Nothing is hidden. It is direct, nothing could be more direct. There are no strings, no wires, no mechanics, it’s just happening, unfolding, and I am THAT.

I am REALITY beginning to imagine itself to be somewhere. I am REALITY imagining itself to be a man, with a certain history, living in a foreign country which is located on a planet in the middle of a solar system, somewhere in the universe. I am REALITY asking myself through this person’s mouth if there is anything else that I have not discovered. I am REALITY noticing that soon enough the experience will seem much different than it is now and how that makes ABSOLUTELY no difference. I am REALITY beginning to wonder if it can accept this level of responsibility. I can CREATE anything I want. I am REALITY forgetting that it is all of reality and beginning to doubt whether or not what was experienced could be called “real”. I am REALITY beginning to feel like it is a bunch of separate things, from the perspective of this guy who is now telling himself that he can’t be God. I am REALITY slowly deciding to come back into this separate self and starting to ask questions again. I am REALITY realizing the absurdity of all questions and how the snake eats its own tail.

That's it. It's all you. You are The One. You are God. God is All. 

[Gili Trawangan]

12 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Gili Trawangan Yep. Nice report! 

It’s not an understanding, the understanding is yourself, appearing as “understanding”. 

@Nahm That's a good point  

Right now there is the experience of rejecting the truth, or better yet trying not to face it head on just yet. I guess it's something that needs to happen and be played out. A lot of different emotions coming up and no desire whatsoever to meditate or control any of it. 

10 hours ago, Preetom said:

Do you see the nature of desire and mental movement now? The very chase towards something or away from something is the thrill, the adventure, the grind. But once you are complete, its game over.

@Preetom The game over part is what's freaking me out right now. There's a lot of energy inside and I can feel the wanting to do something. Even though there is nothing to do...