Why do I repel girls by being myself?

[assx95]

I text girls when i feel like, and say what i want to say most of the time. I am mostly nice to them. Why are they not attracted to me and why do they never text first?

 

[Shin]

You need to give more detailed informations.

[effy01]

more details ?

[pluto]

You are not truly being yourself. You are the Ego thinking its being itself. One must first know thyself to truly be thyself.

When you are truly yourself there is little to no thinking involved, everything flows naturally.

[assx95]

@Shin What kind of details are necessary? I usually compliment them, and talk about things that interest me. 

[Shin]

Just now, assx95 said:

@Shin What kind of details are necessary? I usually compliment them, and talk about things that interest me. 

Give a typical conversation, and not just 3 lines

[Rilles]

Maybe you repel girls because you dont give enough details about yourself?.

[Psyche_92]

1 hour ago, pluto said:

You are not truly being yourself. You are the Ego thinking its being itself. One must first know thyself to truly be thyself.

When you are truly yourself there is little to no thinking involved, everything flows naturally.

+1.

Is not everything already flowing naturally though? Even when he's not being himself?

Edited July 16, 2019 by Psyche_92

[Tim Stretton]

Some woman decide (either that or they seem to know no other way) to live by ‘the culture rules’ when it comes to dating, even though it is now the year 2019!  Culture could be described (as Leo has put it on YouTube) as the ‘collective ego’.  That suggests that those (unconscious?) women who never text first are acting out their egos instead of allowing their own true selves to emanate from them.  I would like to say, “Leave them be”, but perhaps they are all like that.

We all grow and evolve over time, and that’s healthy, but just let the real conscious non-ego ‘you’ at this time to emanate and just ‘be’ (instead of being ‘this’ or being ‘that’), and the like woman should, in theory (ha ha!), come into your life.  That way, you wouldn’t need to concern yourself about the details.  With respect to those ladies, if they cannot/won’t accommodate a opportunity when they see one, why would you want to bother with them?  Would you not want a woman who can evolve with you over time?  I would! 

If you haven’t already (which I am sure you have, just that you didn’t mention it), ask her questions about her.

Edited July 16, 2019 by Tim Stretton

[bejapuskas]

@assx95  Look inwards for any attachment, neediness or hurt. Try to fix that   Needy energy is really easily felt and it is extremely unattractive.

Edited July 16, 2019 by bejapuskas

[bejapuskas]

@Mikael89 Stop torturing yourself Mikael, please.

[Psyche_92]

22 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

Because girls are impossible.

It's best to forget girls altogether. Reality is as it is, just accept it and move on, and hope that you become a girl in next life so you can have romantic love.

You are not gonna lose your desire for romance and a girlfriend by ignoring it, or putting girls into a bad daylight.

Stop being a victim to your own fears and inadequacies and conquer them one by one.

Edited July 16, 2019 by Psyche_92

[Rilles]

24 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@assx95 Because girls are impossible.

It's best to forget girls altogether. Reality is as it is, just accept it and move on, and hope that you become a girl in next life so you can have romantic love.

Hahaha this is fatalism at its finest, I really hope you can go back someday and laugh at your own posts

[DrewNows]

9 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Because girls are impossible.

@Mikael89 what’s funny is my dad said the same thing even after being married to my mom for over 6 years 

its hard to “get” (understand) girls when you don’t get yourself 

[ajasatya]

@assx95 It's easy to sense neediness, even unconsciously. Are you talking to girls expecting them to behave in a certain way? Double check your attitude.

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Keyhole said:

You just have to keep trying.  My brother is Deaf and has high functioning autism, kind of a slob, short, bad breath, never learned that when he speaks it's unintelligible so he sort of sounds like a barking seal when interacting with him, only works part-time, never has any money - and he can get girls.  If he can... ANY of you on here can find a girlfriend.  You're probably just being picky.  

That sounds so hot! 

[Psyche_92]

7 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

It's the biological purpose of girls to be selective and picky about who they breed with.

You are not gonna have sex with every single girl you meet either.  You will always have a preference. You don't eat chocolate when you like vanilla.

7 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

It's also downscalable: the egg is the girl, and the sperm is the guy.

Millions of sperms fight about one egg. The task of the sperm is to fight in a cruel war against many other, and the odds are against him.

The task of the egg is to sit there and be picky and selective, be the gatekeeper, let only one in. Millions of guys wants to get inside the girl, literally.

Well, seems like you won that fight as a sperm as you are here now. Why not win another time by getting yourself a girlfriend.

 

[Shin]

24 minutes ago, Mikael89 said:

@bejapuskas @Psyche_92 @Rilles @DrewNows Jordan Peterson calls girls for "the gatekeepers of nature".

It's the biological purpose of girls to be selective and picky about who they breed with. Only the best of the best guy is good enough.

It's also downscalable: the egg is the girl, and the sperm is the guy.

Millions of sperms fight about one egg. The task of the sperm is to fight in a cruel war against many other, and the odds are against him.

The task of the egg is to sit there and be picky and selective, be the gatekeeper, let only one in. Millions of guys wants to get inside the girl, literally.

The smart sperm knows that it's a unpleasant and hopeless fight.

Then be the best

You can be as amazing as you want, it all depends on your willingess to do so

[mandyjw]

I still really wish I was as magical as @Mikael89 thinks I am, just for being female. Maybe when I'm enlightened I will be, but then I won't identify as female anymore. GOD DAMN YOU UNIVERSE.

[assx95]

@Keyhole @Mikael89 @Shin @mandyjw @Psyche_92 @Rilles

It's a tragedy that all the girls in my life I developed feelings for (4 in number) have treated me like trash and in the end disrespected me by ignoring me and being flaky. And each time, I did cry a lot. I didn't want to, but it hurt.

@Natasha had told me to not contact her again after she stopped texting me all of a sudden.  And i had to not follow that advice because i got a hunch related to her, and I had to tell her that, which I thought was authentic. I lost her now. She's not even seeing my messages anymore. 

Had she told me she wasn't attracted to me i would have stopped trying. But she had to go through the process of gradually toning down the quantity and intensity of what we had between us, until there is nothing now. And this was someone I knew for three years. 

I have decided not to go online on whatsapp and Insta, the medium through which i was in touch with her for 6+ months, and focus on my career and on contemplating Leo's videos. This achieves two things: 

1. I don't want the neediness in me to act out. 
2. I actually focus on things which will stay with me for a longer while. 

About women: Leo was right, that one is better off becoming completely detached. Not as a strategy to attract women, but when you realize the fluid nature of women: Inconstancy and Impermanence. You never know when that day arrives when she doesn't feel like texting you at all and stops completely. If you are attached like me, you will keep wondering and get hurt. And suffer. 

Edited July 16, 2019 by assx95