I Couldn’t Let Go...

[AlldayLoop]

I had a mystical experience while lying down in bed and I felt my heart pounding because I knew what was happening. I entered the black hole and I freaked the eff out. I couldn’t sufficiently let go and I instead I jumped out of bed in fear that I would die.

I have a lot of personal baggage that needs to be worked on. But what am I supposed to take of this mystical experience???

[fewrocker]

This happens. Frequently.

 

Our egoes are still very strong and they are still scared of awakenings and insights; if it feels like part of it is dying, the freaked out mode will be activated

 

Know that it is ok. Accept that moment. Do your meditations to keep grounded, so you don't start thinking you are getting crazy during these deep moments, because you aren't; but if the ego plays that trap of "you're losing your mind" on you, it can become effective to hold you back, even though nothing will happen. And know that this moment will come back more times. And each time, try to be a little bit more open, because you realize that you had that before, and you were ok. 

 

I guess it is one step at a time. Don't be in a hurry to reach it now. But do what's necessary to reach it eventually. Marathon, not race

[Sempiternity]

However you got there, do it as often as possible. You'll get so use to the experience, that it will be no thing, and you'll be able to surrender without fear. If you wanted to do tight-rope walking between two skyscrapers, you'd be utterly terrified when you finally were up there with no net to save your life. But if you did it hundreds of times, eventually you'd get so use to it, that life threatening act you'd be able to do without breaking a sweat. So this is a case of practice makes perfect. Keep practicing, as much as possible, a little bit at a time, to get so use to it, that surrendering to your death/awakening will be easy for you. 

[Aaron p]

Who couldn't let go? 

[Matt8800]

@AlldayLoop What you are supposed to take from it is that you have a hard time letting go.

When you meditate, imagine bright purifying light filling your body on the inhale. On the exhale, let it all go. Feel yourself dissipating into the nothingness. Accept EVERYTHING, including your own death. Initially you might feel like you are dying. that is your ego. Keep letting go and be mindful of the bliss, joy and freedom you are filled with when your ego dies.

This is a critical lesson to learn on the spiritual path. Keep at it and stay strong. This is the biggest reason seekers dont reach enlightenment imo.

Edited July 15, 2019 by Matt8800