The ego's identification with my facial looks

[assx95]

I clearly identify with how i look. Such that when I don’t look like the way I think I should look, I try to not look at myself, I try to make myself as invisible as possible to others, especially women who i am  attracted to. I lose my confidence. And I try to erase off or destroy whatever is trying to ruin that image I have of myself. How do i stop identifying with that ? 

Such that when I get a bad haircut, or when i get acne in odd places i try to scratch it off or when I have  red rashes from dryness on my face. I exhibit such behavior as described above. This is clearly an Ego thing. Isn't it? How do i fix the issue? 

 

Edited July 14, 2019 by assx95
Grammatical error.

[Truth Addict]

@assx95

Don't think of that as ego, or think of ego as a good thing that was created to protect you.

Anyway, the way in is the way out. You must face your fears in order to become free of them.

Things that could help you against your fears (give you more courage):

• Meditation.
• Deep contemplation into the nature of the fears.
• Following the train of thoughts that occur when fear arises. Example: I fear rejection if I say something personal about myself. The thoughts be like: I don't want to say this or that because that'll make me look stupid, and the other person will judge me, then they will reject me because I don't fit into their expectations (which I have no clue about), and then I will become lonely and miserable because I would have no relationships anymore. Conclusion: the fear is basically a fear of loneliness that is translated into misery, which is a personal projection, because in fact, solitude can be very beautiful. So, the solution is to question that train of thoughts wherever you think the problem resides.
• Nature can help you calm the mind (which can make other suggestions apply more easier).
• Shamanic breathing.
• Of course, watching videos on confidence and self-help stuff. Especially this one: 

And lastly, don't worry. We've all been there, and some still are 

[Aaron p]

@assx95 you cannot fix it...but you can die

[Aaron p]

If the skin that is your face was surgically removed and replaced with a different face...would you be removed also? Or would you remain as the observer of both faces?

[MuddyBoots]

You seem to have a double problem here. You don't like how you really look compared to your ideal image. Also you don't like that you identify with images, compared with your spiritual ideal of not identifying with anything. Can you see this is really the same problem, just transferred onto a spiritual level rather than a materialistic one? But it's the same ego dissatisfaction going on. Which, by the way, we all have so don't worry about it.  Instead of trying to change anything, how about  simply observing the whole process in your mind, the seeing of your face, the arising of desire and dissatisfaction. The impermanence of these states. These are like waves on the ocean. Let them be, let them go. Then one day you may notice the deeper satisfaction and peace beneath the waves of change, impermanence, identification and opposition. Abiding in that peace, the struggle falls away. At first just temporarily, maybe permanently too, but I'm not there yet   

We are all human, perfect in our imperfections. The trees in the forest are all different shapes and sizes, they do not compare and judge, the beauty of the forest is that they are all just themselves.

Above all have compassion for yourself, this is not really 'your' problem but one which we all share (a bit like original sin perhaps?).

Nick.

[Nahm]

@assx95 Meditation is the way. You’re believing you are a separate self, the one in the thought story.  You can’t be anything you think, because you’re aware of the thoughts. Awareness. 

When those thoughts don’t feel good, it’s because they’re not true, yet you’re believing them, and identifying with them. That it doesn’t feel good tells you that you are so much more, so much bigger and better, than any thought could imply. 

Meditation will help you slow down the cycle of thought-about-self-arises-and-is-believed. 

 

When you say “the ego’s identification with my facial looks....”

You’ve already fragmented yourself , and are shifting the responsibility to an ‘ego’, and already identified with what is seen. 

[Conrad]

This is all ego. The ego must die and God-Self must be realized. Once that happens problems like how I look or problems with woman will vanish.

You only want to look good for others, when you realize others are yourself aka God this problem will vanish. It's not in the way you look, it's in the way you are and what you are and how you express and show what you are, which is ultimately GOD. 

Edited July 14, 2019 by Conrad

[inFlow]

If you look yourself in the eyes in a mirror for a very long time eventually you would find that you cannot locate "yourself" anywhere. Eyes are deceiving, your mind creates a "you" instantly when you look yourself in the eyes. Same goes to other people. If you would concentrate and look in your friends eyes for a super long meditation like way you would realize that you cannot locate him anywhere you look. The illusion fades like a fog.