Keeping Depression TAMED!

[kag101]

OLD JOURNAL

I have been writing a journal here called “Keeping Track of My Depression” , but I decided that it is time to start a new volume. For three reasons: 

First of all, keeping track of depression is not enough; I must actively seek strategies to confront it. 

Second of all, depression is depression; it is not “my” depression. 

Third of all, that journal was a big mess. I might organize the texts later on. I might write a book on this

 

RECAP

I started a psychiatric treatment on November of 2018.

I experimented with a few medications, and I have finally found one that works really well with me! This by itself is a great victory. 

The thing I have to remind myself over and over again is that if I stop using it, I will backslide, and those ugly thoughts and emotions will come back to haunt me. 

 

A WRONG DECISION CAUSED A DEPRESSIVE EPISODE  

Three days ago, my psychiatrist had the idea of reducing the dosage, and add a new antidepressant. That was a bad idea.

Result: I had my first depressive episodes in three months. I was sleeping too much; eating too goddamn much; and isolating myself. All of which are classical signs of depression.

 

PSYCHIATRIST MADE UP FOR HIS MISTAKE 

 

Thankfully, he is a “talkable” psychiatrist, so not only did he not reduced the dosage, but he actually increased it. That was the right move, in my opinion. After all, I now feel stable once again. I went to my best friend’s birthday party yesterday, and it was so much fun! I was very relaxed and was enjoying the moment. 

 

WEIGHT GAIN

As I mentioned earlier, I am also trying to lose some weight. But after this depressive episode, I can see how there is no rush in doing so.

I clearly gained weight due to depression. There is no doubt, because when I am “normal” I do not binge. I do like to eat wheat and sweets, but it is nothing big. 

 

GETTING BACK IN TOUCH WITH MY DAD, AND HIS FAMILY 

Another important thing is that I am trying to get back in touch with my dad and his family. I am going to my psychologist today with him. I think it will go well. 

 

THINGS I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH BY THE END OF THE YEAR (DEC/19)

> Get back to teaching English and Portuguese. Have 5-10 regular students (weekly classes)

> Do a children's theater play in Christmas 

> Have 5-10K followers on my Facebook, Instragram, and Youtube pages. 

 

THANK GOD DEPRESSION IS GONE

I will go to a soccer match with two friends. I am really glad depression is not there, because it would make that moment very hard to enjoy.

Thanks for reading! And if you think you have depression, seek help ASAP. Thing is, you have to find a good professional. 

 

Quote

 

"Without science, there would be no such hope." 

-- Kay Redfield Jamison 

 

 

PS: I will likely edit this post later today. This is a draft version.

[Truth Addict]

Thank you for the information you provided.

I'd gone through a depression that lasted for about 7 years. I never sought help, I was young and ignorant and on my own.

The way it ended was incredible, and at the same time miserable. I just gave up on everything, and decided to let go. Ever since, everything has been changing for the better. I was taking life way too seriously, and I was very manipulative. I stopped that after realising how much me suffering it caused me.

What helped me to boost my mood during that phase was free running in the morning at the park.

Nowadays, my mood is always going up! The more I surrender, the more I find peace and happiness.

I hope you don't mind me sharing my experience on your journal. If you find it disturbing even for a bit, or if it's unwelcome, please let me know and I will delete it right away.

Following.

Edited July 13, 2019 by Truth Addict