Why do I get angry at some members posts?

[SerpaeTetra]

Usually its the type of post where someone is overly confident in themselves (whether fake or not), making a bold statement that doesn't make much sense to me.  Most of the time its the type of threads that are repetitive, and aren't getting a lot of attention from others.  I seem to not be able to let it go.  I've always had a low-self esteem...is it that I'm jealous  of that perceived confidence?  Or what else could it be...

[ajasatya]

@SerpaeTetra Why don't you try to say something with confidence? Be aware of the emotions that may arise.

What is wisdom?

[SerpaeTetra]

13 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

@SerpaeTetra Why don't you try to say something with confidence? Be aware of the emotions that may arise.

What is wisdom?

Wisdom is the knowledge one gained from their own experience.

 

I guess I went though the emotion of - hoping not to say something stupid, possible embarrassment...These were slight emotions in this case.

 

 

[Inliytened1]

@SerpaeTetra thats a strength not a weakness.  You have sensitivity and strong emotions.  That's a good thing just work on mastering your emotions.  I sometimes feel the same after a post - i worry or get emotional that i said something someone may not agree with - there are a lot of very intelligent people here.  But then i remind myself that in the end it doesn't matter what other people think..its OK.  No matter how embarrassing a moment may be or how much you blunder...that moment passes in an instant and is gone.  There is only the present moment 

[Joseph Maynor]

Every Egoic System wants to see its most sought after preferences reflected back to it by other people (systems).  This is what makes other systems useful and valuable to you, including but not limited to the opposite sex.  What we're looking for fundamentally is a sustainable solution to our most sought after objectives.  

Edited July 12, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[DrewNows]

@SerpaeTetra Maybe "they" are a threat to your sense of self? They sound so confident in their post, yet you cannot see where they are coming from? You desperately would like to know why others do not call them out on this, but you wouldn't dare challenge the "status quo" 

If this sounds true for you, why might this be the case? 

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, SerpaeTetra said:

I've always had a low-self esteem...is it that I'm jealous  of that perceived confidence?  Or what else could it be...

No, it's because your mind is actively denying that such people are yourself.

When you judge another human, you are separating them from yourself, which is fundamentally false.

[SerpaeTetra]

14 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@SerpaeTetra thats a strength not a weakness.  You have sensitivity and strong emotions.  That's a good thing just work on mastering your emotions.  I sometimes feel the same after a post - i worry or get emotional that i said something someone may not agree with - there are a lot of very intelligent people here.  But then i remind myself that in the end it doesn't matter what other people think..its OK.  No matter how embarrassing a moment may be or how much you blunder...that moment passes in an instant and is gone.  There is only the present moment 

Thanks, I'll try to look at it like that instead.

8 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

Every Egoic System wants to see it's most sought after preferences reflected back to it by other people (systems).  This is what makes other systems attractive to you, including but not limited to the opposite sex.

Gotcha, thanks.

8 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

@SerpaeTetra Maybe "they" are a threat to your sense of self? They sound so confident in their post, yet you cannot see where they are coming from? You desperately would like to know why others do not call them out on this, but you wouldn't dare challenge the "status quo" 

If this sounds true for you, why might this be the case? 

 

Yeah, this makes a lot of sense, but can't wrap my head around it 100%.  Why is it a threat to my sense of self?

I assume others don't post because they can handle their emotions a bit better and just ignore it.

[Inliytened1]

@Leo Gura yeah but apparently when i state this i get blasted for being a "keyboard warrior" or something like that.  So maybe we are speaking way too deep for most people here and that's what sets them off.  

[SerpaeTetra]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No, it's because your mind is actively denying that such people are yourself.

When you judge another human, you are separating them from yourself, which is fundamentally false.

Ok.  I have watched your judgement video before, and have been actively catching myself in judgements about others, myself, etc., trying to at least catch it... I guess I'm more conscious of it, but its hard to correct.

I remember there was a chance to stop the video and write down judgements as an exercise,  and I just did that in my head instead of going through the full exercise, so I guess that would be a good video to revisit.

[DrewNows]

4 minutes ago, SerpaeTetra said:

Why is it a threat to my sense of self?

I assume others don't post because they can handle their emotions a bit better and just ignore it.

Why do you assume others are feeling the same way?

How are your emotions related to your sense of self? Why does the anger arise? Could there be fear hiding behind that anger? 

[SerpaeTetra]

4 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Why do you assume others are feeling the same way?

How are your emotions related to your sense of self? Why does the anger arise? Could there be fear hiding behind that anger? 

I guess I'm judging peoples posts, and ranking them ahead or behind me.  When someone posts something that in my mind is less valuable-and they are overly confident about it, I get irritated.  There could very well be fear behind it, and I do believe it says something about myself, but I'm not sure how exactly.  I can't really connect the dots past that point.  

 

 

[DrewNows]

5 minutes ago, SerpaeTetra said:

I guess I'm judging peoples posts, and ranking them ahead or behind me.  When someone posts something that in my mind is less valuable-and they are overly confident about it, I get irritated.  There could very well be fear behind it, and I do believe it says something about myself, but I'm not sure how exactly.  I can't really connect the dots past that point.  

 

 

Awesome, did you know others are like our mirrors? We judge them because we judge ourselves...reflect on every quality that stands out and you may notice what is in your shadow and what the underlying motivation is behind your judgements 

for example, if I’m criticizing others, this tends to reflect I’m overly critical of myself, so I can ask myself why is this? The answer is because I cannot accept myself, I have an idea of my “sense of self”I desire to be perfect but this is an unrealistic expectation and belief that doesn’t serve me, therefore, it is worth letting go 

[SerpaeTetra]

9 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Awesome, did you know others are like our mirrors? We judge them because we judge ourselves...reflect on every quality that stands out and you may notice what is in your shadow and what the underlying motivation is behind your judgements 

for example, if I’m criticizing others, this tends to reflect I’m overly critical of myself, so I can ask myself why is this? The answer is because I cannot accept myself, I have an idea of my “sense of self”I desire to be perfect but this is an unrealistic expectation and belief that doesn’t serve me, therefore, it is worth letting go 

I will try to embody this, thank you.

[DrewNows]

@SerpaeTetra criticism does not necessarily mean anger.

Please reflect on your own personal judgements, the example I gave is mine.

You may have trust issues, fear or insecurity etc

[DrewNows]

@SerpaeTetra we do not seek to understand ourselves to deny ourselves of our judgements, but to accept them and with this acceptance you can grow 

[JustThinkingAloud]

Maybe it’s because they think differently to you and that’s why it doesn’t resonate with you. And that’s completely fine, we all have different preferences, other people might find that very same post useful.

[SerpaeTetra]

35 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

@SerpaeTetra criticism does not necessarily mean anger.

Please reflect on your own personal judgements, the example I gave is mine.

You may have trust issues, fear or insecurity etc

I think I'm judging people who seem to me are "know-it-alls".  I think especially when I was younger, I acted like this naturally, and people told me, maybe in a harsh way.  I became introverted and quiet.

[Inliytened1]

@SerpaeTetra being quiet is not a weakness it's a sign of wisdom.   It took me a long time to learn that.   Just don't have fear to say something if you feel it.

Edited July 13, 2019 by Inliytened1

[DrewNows]

15 minutes ago, SerpaeTetra said:

I think I'm judging people who seem to me are "know-it-alls".  I think especially when I was younger, I acted like this naturally, and people told me, maybe in a harsh way.  I became introverted and quiet.

Do you think it’s okay to be a “know-it-all”, personally? If not, why?