Trying dating a different way

[Average Investor]

I have a couple girls that would be fairly easy to get to go out on a date. Not sure exactly how I want to go about it. Definitely be a lot more picky and look for warning signs. I kind of just want to have fun and explore it a bit. Any good dating tips you have used? Any good ways to suggest going out on a date? Looking to just talk to them in person. 

 

[JustThinkingAloud]

Maybe just try to be friends with them first and see which one you like the most to take it further. When I wanted to find someone, I tried to socialise with as many people as I could to find a match.

[Average Investor]

3 hours ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

Maybe just try to be friends with them first and see which one you like the most to take it further. When I wanted to find someone, I tried to socialise with as many people as I could to find a match.

These girls I have meet just work at stores. I don't really frequent other social settings where I would meet them often to really become friends. 

[Average Investor]

4 hours ago, JustThinkingAloud said:

Maybe just try to be friends with them first and see which one you like the most to take it further. When I wanted to find someone, I tried to socialise with as many people as I could to find a match.

I do meet quite a few I could approach while running too. So that is another option. But just not really sure how to just be friends with them prior to doing a date? 

[JustThinkingAloud]

45 minutes ago, Average Investor said:

I do meet quite a few I could approach while running too. So that is another option. But just not really sure how to just be friends with them prior to doing a date? 

You can just talk to them. Say “Hi, how are you?” and see their reaction, it can tell a lot whether they are interested or not. You can tell by their body language and friendliness. If she likes you, she’ll make it easy for you to keep the conversion going.

[Average Investor]

@JustThinkingAloud This advice actually helped me a lot.  Approached probably 10 or so girls since. 

[Moreira]

"looking to just talk".... if you go on a date with a girl with no intent, just to see what happens you'll be put easily in the friend zone

Edited August 11, 2019 by Moreira

[Average Investor]

@Moreira I would like a relationship. Just not looking to get stuck with someone I don't want to be with. And looking to see what a variety of different women could offer.  

[JustThinkingAloud]

13 hours ago, Average Investor said:

@JustThinkingAloud This advice actually helped me a lot.  Approached probably 10 or so girls since. 

That's great!

[universe]

16 hours ago, Average Investor said:

@Moreira I would like a relationship. Just not looking to get stuck with someone I don't want to be with. And looking to see what a variety of different women could offer.  

Sure everyone wants the same man.

Was there some event in the past where you got betrayed or so? Because you should be able to see if you like someone or not by yourself.

What can help is to not get into anything just because of a fear of being alone or something else thats silly.

[Average Investor]

@universe My past relationships have been pretty low quality. But good learning experiences. Yeah, my most recent relationship was pretty betraying I suppose in a few ways. I actually left her about 8 months ago and debating on getting back into it a little. But to be fair I am very happy without a partner at this point though too. I just notice much higher quality women being interested and I do get approached by them occasionally. I have a hard time not going for lesser quality people I suppose around me though, or at least I did. I have removed many friends and relationships just in this last year. I have one friend that is sort of local that I will go hike with sometimes now. But all the others are just online now. No more losers, thieves, junkies etc. And to be fair I know a pretty substantial amount of people locally. 

I guess at times I would just enjoy someone to have sex with or to go do some fun stuff with. But I realize that isn't really important. I actually could see it being a burden having a partner again, but I suppose a lot of that is just thinking from past experience. I have an issue deciding on what I would like them to look like as well. Conflicting ideas of what is attractive etc. Then the thought of settling for someone low quality. People are not really upfront about who they are initially and it becomes fairly easy to pass over bad traits of people initially in a relationship. I get that is stuff really not worth overthinking. Kind of like choosing the friend. Just kind of get and idea of what would be good and go from there. 

I never bothered to get any of those girls numbers or anything since I made the OP. I had one I was going to ask for it, but it was more of a just to get it thing. She lived quite a few hours away from me, and I probably would not make the effort to start a relationship being that far away from someone. But who knows maybe it would have went somewhere. I suppose I fear getting emotionally evolved with someone who might take me for a ride financially, emotionally, etc.