Making People Think On Their Own

[Yavor Kirov]

First: Hello everyone! I am happy to see you 'round here! First post, yay!

So here we go... Whenever I try someone think I get one of these responses:

1) the "leave me alone" response - when people show some "aggression" and want me to stop 

or

2) when people just nod politely and accept what I am saying on the surface so they do not insult me, but they don't process the information in side their heads...

I have noticed questioning works better than just throwing facts at people but sometimes people respond aggressively to that too...

I am not sure if we need the whole human race to be enlightened, but certainly would do much better if people were using their brains for at least thinking... So how to make people think on their own?

 

 

[Pallero]

That's a very broad and difficult question. I don't remember ever starting to think on my own. Questioning was and is just my second nature. I did have an interesting experience when I was about 6 years old that made me question the nature of reality though.

To want to think on their own, people need to see the benefits of it. If they don't see what's the use, they won't do it. To some extent, I believe that it should be parents' and schools' responsibility, but it's difficult to teach something you don't know. Philosophy and media analysis lessons in schools are a start, but if a child's parents think they are a useless waste of time, the child can become discouraged.

I've heard people starting to think on their own in Universities with a guidance of an inspiring teacher/professor. I would also assume that reading books would broaden perspectives and make people think that not everything is so black and white.

Education seems to be the key.  On the other hand, you can take the horse to the river but you can't make it drink.

So in conclusion, the best way to make people think on their own is to learn to do it yourself and then serve as inspiration to others.

[Ike Carter]

@Yavor Kirov this is a very, very tricky subject. Interesting that you posted this because all day i have been brainstorming ways to get people around me to open the door that is directly in front of their face. Its there, but its like they don't want to see it. I believe its a toxic number of factors that mis-mold ones character into a state of inurement. 

I usually start small, with teaching humility which is the foundation to a skyscraper of growth. 

[goodguy]

Some people arent ready to open the door, it takes maturity. All you can do is present your views to them but its up to them to process that information and take action, you have little influence on that. 

Edited February 8, 2016 by goodguy

[Truth]

Question: why would you make anyone do anything? ever considered it's not the words they are hearing but what you are giving off?

People don't like having their world views questioned, if they get the sense that you won't budge on the "facts" and become slightly dogmatic what's the point in having a conversation with that person? whose mind is really closed here?

 

[Cabot]

If you are trying to influence someone close to you , most you can get away with is small, gradual changes. It needs to be so subtle to an extent it almost feels as if  you're tricking them into it. 
If you get away with this, the next important step is making them feel good about them selfs, and what they did. Just some old school positive reinforcement. 
This slowly opens them up to more positive changes and prepares them for deeper and more difficult questions. 
However, some people are harder to work with then others. Some are so defensive that it's best just to back off, at least for the time being. There are no universal rules, just positive effort, patience... Don't be condescending, come from a place of love.

If it's a very general question, then I'd ask the same thing Truth is... Why waste energy to pump up your own ego? 

[Yavor Kirov]

@Pallero I agree on that people don't start to think out of rationality but often just because of too much pain. This was the case with me like 5-6 years ago. I was pretty much forced to think by my life falling apart in many areas. There were more experiences like before that that had similar effect. Probably I still have much to learn in the future.... On the "serving as inspiration" part I agree too. Serving as an example and a role model is a great strategy I have not considered. Thanks!

@Ike Carter @goodguy  I myself a often afraid to open doors. It feels like what is behind the door could ruin my "stability" by pretty much blowing up in my face. Some research about what is behind the door before opening it often helps to do with the uneasy feelings.

@Truth you are right that people are very hard to change and I have often reached to the conclusion that manipulating people and changing them are two different things where the first one is pretty much impossible. If it is not impossible at least it's not an efficient strategy in life.

 @caB07 wow that sounds like a long term strategy. Might prove useful.

 

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I did not edit my first post but while I was writing I started to realize something. I still wrote the post because I wanted to read your opinions, this is still important. Changing others/making them become thinkers... It's just an ego thing. If we accept that things like IQ do not change much over a person's lifetime it might be an illusion that you can "just make someone think" if they don't have the processing power to do it...

 

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To sum it up so far:

- It often takes a lot of pain to make people think. Pain inflicted by living in "the wrong way".

- People who are a role model can serve as inspiration.

- People are afraid of change and change is more easily accepted in smaller steps.

Thanks again. I realized it's better to (possibly) serve as a role model and focus on improving myself than focus on others, because if I do control something it's much easier to change myself than do it to others. 

 

Cheers

 

 

Edited February 8, 2016 by Yavor Kirov