My parents are pushing me down!

[PretentiousHuman]

@possibilities maybe doing scary things like uncomfortable situations that will build my personal development but not to extent that my life is on the line. Will do it.  Thanks!

[Matt8800]

23 hours ago, PretentiousHuman said:

I need help! I love my parents. I live with them. Im 30 years old, single. They sometimes get into my nerves when they  talk down on me. Need advices. 

@PretentiousHuman I'll be very blunt....

GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE! GET YOUR OWN PLACE!

Your life as an adult hasnt started yet. You have hit the pause button on life until you separate from mommy and daddy.

[Matt8800]

4 hours ago, PretentiousHuman said:

@Rilles yes. Thats the reality. Im planning to work abroad, particularly US, so i can leave my country and be with more open minded people. 

@PretentiousHuman Get that figured out in the next week or find another solution. Waiting is just deluding yourself to think there is a solution. If you have the attitude to do it today, you have a plan. If tomorrow, tomorrow never comes.

[PretentiousHuman]

@possibilities amen to that! I can make it through all of this. Thanks!

[PretentiousHuman]

@Matt8800 thats easier said than done. I dont have the money to move out from the house. Thats the reality. I have work but i can barely make it. 

[kieranperez]

1 hour ago, PretentiousHuman said:

@Matt8800 thats easier said than done. I dont have the money to move out from the house. Thats the reality. I have work but i can barely make it. 

Speaking from experience, it’s easier done than said. 

Im 24, had to share a bed with my dad for the last 2 years with my dad when my parents split up. I dropped out of college for a variety of reasons, my self esteem had been eroding for years and a lot more. I’ve been living in arguably the most expensive city and area in the world to live, San Francisco. Was working retail 20 hours a week at best, had no one I could move in with, wasn’t able to afford rent anywhere, etc.

I found a summer job out here in Nj from someone on the forum here who I’m with now where I’m working 60-70+ hours a week doing pest control. I may resent this job, be exhausted, unfulfilled, etc. but I put my ass on the line having never lived on my own and never even had more than $900 in my bank account and right now I have $3000 and I now have moving options and other options about what I may want to do with my life after this. 

If you actually want freedom you’ll actually go out and get it. 

It seems easier said than done because you’re afraid, which I TOTALLY get! When you have no ownership for your life, ownership seems like the scariest thing in the world because we’re afraid of surrendering our fantasies and dogmas which may be the cost of taking ownership and accepting the realities of what it may take to grab hold of life by the balls. 

Ask yourself and really wonder what it is you’re really afraid of. What are you REALLY afraid of? Are you afraid that if you actually attempt to leave you might find out that you’re more underprepared and seemingly unfit to handle the challenges of the world mentally and emotionally? Are you afraid of feeling that hidden feeling in the back of your mind that you’re a loser and that you can’t actually succeed? Are you afraid you’re not strong enough because even attempting to grab hold of your life strikes the same fear you felt when you were younger when you tried to take ownership in the past and you were faced with such disappointment you felt such a deep self humiliating pain that you don’t want to try again because you might still feel the pain of that wound? What are you afraid of? There’s something there. I know because all those example have been my fears... BUT FUCK THAT. I LOVE LIFE. I LOVE LIFE TOO MUCH TO LET IT PASS BY. If you’re truly, genuinely passionate about your life and you don’t want to waste it, you’ll take the leap. That doesn’t mean it ends there. Nooooooo. No no no no no! However, if that genuine yearning isn’t TRULY there for you, I don’t know what else to tell you. I still cry sometimes because I have such a deep yearning for my calling to be one with life itself I don’t feel I can live with out it and everything else feels like a waste of time. I’m that serious about this. I’m also VERY scared... but FUCK THAT! 

If you’re satisfied in your situation you wouldn’t be writing this. If you’re not satisfied, find what it is in your psyche and bring it to your awareness so that you can feel both vulnerable enough yet also empowered enough to do something about your situation. 

Hope this helps and you actually do something. 

[Hello from Russia]

@kieranjaegar Glad to see you're crushing in life, my respect, man

Edited July 10, 2019 by Hello from Russia

[M4sti]

Same sitaution, basically my first post on this forum is a huge story explaining my life with parents, and if you read it you will say that i am prolly the most F up person on this Forum. We are the narssistic familly with everyone being in denial and pretending that this is ultimately normal and nothing is happening, this goes very deep. They shape what you think you are, your Ego, so much that you do not even know who or what you are anymore, this is why i came here. My best advice is to go full Grey Rock, use your intelligence and play the best game you can, the best game is to not let them effect your mind in any way, i advice against what has been said by @possibilities my brother  is seriously underestimating the devil itself, personalities, narcissistc ego, limited perspective and intelligence of certain people of your enviroment can only drag you down, any interaction you have with them is there to mess you up and make you lose progress and a step backwards, you can make the consequences of what he said will happen afterwards by using a different door than making a mess with them, the way i am purposing will never have you second guess if you did something wrong, because you will get as less involved as possible with them and only involved with your progress, work on yourself behind the scenes, work as hard as you can, make your plans, and focus on them, this is what i want to achieve and manifest, start looking for the truth of what you are and not the story everyone including you has constructed for you. Again, you are making an exit, as quiet as possible. 

Next time they say something to you, use your mind, what their persona wants to hear and will get you out of this shit so in the next second you can focus again on yourself and only, as calm as you can, with no attachments or emotions, and if you have to lie, lie without giving an F. And as you keep making real progress, just notice the possibility that every time, they will find something negative to focus, that is these people perspective, you think they mad because of something particular that you not doing great, nah, this perspective does not change from the outside, they will always find something negative to focus, maybe if you get a better job the problem will be that you are fat, maybe if you get lean they will start talking about how much they dont like your new girl, or notice  how they will try to get credit for what you did all by yourself when they can not deny the success anymoe, open your mind and see how phony some people can be,  wake up, they do it all for their Ego. I do not know your case and maybe i am too harsh with pojection from my own case, but i guess nobody come to seek help in a forum and talks with phrases like "pushing me down" if the situation is mild. 

 

I am planning my "escape" too and i am tottaly invested. I invite you to follow me on my journal here if you like.

P.S hope is allowed to "advertise' an inside the forum thread  if not let me know so i can edit this out. 

[PretentiousHuman]

@kieranperez my family name is Perez too. What you said is so big. Thanks Man. I will do something about it. I know in my self that i am thirsty for something big about my current situation. I will act. I will plan. I will reevaluate. And i will try some more. 

[PretentiousHuman]

@Hello from Russia yes. Working toward that goal too. 

[kieranperez]

23 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

@kieranjaegar Glad to see you're crushing in life, my respect, man

Glad to see there’s another Kieran on this forum  never actually met another one.

1 minute ago, PretentiousHuman said:

@kieranperez my family name is Perez too. What you said is so big. Thanks Man. I will do something about it. I know in my self that i am thirsty for something big about my current situation. I will act. I will plan. I will reevaluate. And i will try some more. 

Do it and accept, enjoy, and embrace whatever results you find and create, whatever they may happen to be.

[PretentiousHuman]

@M4sti wise words you have. All i can say is sometimes i have the tendency to give up fighting what i think is best for my self and let people and circumstances dictate what my life will be moving forward. But with the help of you and this forum, i know i have a battle to be prepared for. What is your story? 

Thank you for sharing. 

[M4sti]

@PretentiousHuman i suffered from panic attacks and depresion most of my life, but i snapped out of it and i am moving forward, the whole story is a bit too long. Care to not fight yourself though, be yourselfs best friend, do your work and observe how  other people change , you will see how they react to your changes, this is the best way to rip the mask off of fake people.If you are mindfull enough and notice what is happening.  

[PretentiousHuman]

@kieranperez i will Man. Thank you for your motivating words. I will use those to execute each of my days. 

[PretentiousHuman]

@Keyhole thats very kind of you. I will. Do you mind if you tell your story?

[PretentiousHuman]

@M4sti i’ve learned to love my self too. Ive been a people please too my whole life. Making other people’s agendas on top of my own making me miserable all the time. But i have shifted my life into 180 degrees to always make myself the highest priority. And ive never been fulfilled.  

[PretentiousHuman]

@Keyhole will see you journal. 

[M4sti]

@PretentiousHuman Thats good to hear, wish you the best pal, we will check up in this forum sometime i am sure. 

[PretentiousHuman]

@M4sti yes bro. Wish you nothing but the best too.