Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

The shaman always lives outside the village... and I live outside the main forums... and on a small remote tropical island outside of the main world... and on this island I live outside society. Yep, my situation is pretty weird.

Edited July 26, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

The Advantage of Not Being Social

The main advantage that I experienced from not spending that much time with people in my life is that I got very little conditioned by society. This is the most important thing that I recently realized. Because of that my thoughts can be very original and surprise many people, I have a natural wisdom and I don't have to do that much spiritual work for that.

I always intuitively sensed that something was "wrong" in social groups, I always felt that people living too much in groups where experiencing fear based on social conditioning. Since a very young age my attitude towards life has been to not take any strong positions, but to just observe people. It doesn't mean that I did things perfectly, but that was and still is my main attitude. As a kid, I knew that I didn't know anything and therefore told myself: "I don't know anything in life, so I'm not going to take or judge any position but just observe carefully all perspectives around me and then gradually integrate them".

I always felt like I was born a sage.

P-S: Don't get me wrong, there's definitely a trap in being too much isolated and I fell into it. Social interactions are important in life for healthy functioning in a society.

 

[Raphael]

Very very high-quality videos. I maybe judged Leo a bit too quickly. Many times there's a big difference between his videos and his interactions on the forum, maybe there's a big difference in his personal life too? After all, what do I really know about Leo except these videos and his posts? Not that much.

 

[Raphael]

Deep Emotional Healing Is So Rare — Yet So Important

 

[Raphael]

An addiction is a pattern in the brain.

[Raphael]

Meta Relationships

I see no other way to have healthy relationships than by going meta. By going meta I mean recognizing that a relationship is an organism by itself composed of two holons and that some rules need to exists to keep the relationship alive and healthy.

Here are some basic rules that I thought about:

• Both partners needs to be psychologically healthy.
• Both partners needs to be able to sustain themselves independently.
• Both partners needs to have compatible personality types.
• Both partners needs to have similar values and a few similar interests.
• Both partners needs massive education on relationships, sexuality, masculine/feminine dynamics. If an issue arise, being educated about relationships dynamics can solve it.
• Individual preferences need to be seriously taken into consideration even if it goes against typical masculine/feminine dynamics.
• No manipulations, no pressure, no gaslighting, no screaming at each other, no fights, no egoic debates, or similar things. If any of this happens, the relationship needs to be broken.
• Space for mistakes and imperfections. I thought about this multiple times, and really this is unrealistic to expect a 100% perfect relationship where both partners will be happy all the time. That's life after all. In almost all cases, a bit of drama will happen, however, this drama has to be as small as possible.
• If something is not working, both partners needs to be aware and flexible enough to change.
• When an issue arise, both partners needs to be able to communicate openly and honestly.
• Both partners needs to be genuinely interested in the other person and try to see things from the other person perspective as much as possible.
• Both partners need to accept that the other person has relationships and sexual needs, and therefore have a responsibility to fulfill these needs. It doesn't mean that someone has to be the slave of the other person's needs, it needs to be healthily balanced in a way that fulfills both individuals.
• Both partners needs to let go when being too much meta. This is exhausting sometimes and this is a trap that prevents to be in the flow.

[Raphael]

Quote

Lol

Stop making dumb excuses and go talk to girls.

And stop reading that incel, red pill, black pill toxic trash. What's gonna kill you is not your height, but the shit you feed your mind. You are like a radical Islamist terrorist or white nationalist, feeding your mind with garbage ideology that will ruin your life.

This kind of rhetoric is so incredibly toxic, I'm blown away when I see things like this especially coming from a "self-actualized" person. This guy is considering suicide, yet there is a complete lack of empathy, there is mockery which is even worse.

I like Leo and I obtained great value from his videos, but honestly he has a toxic side. Some of his posts and also his attitude in some videos had a negative influence on me.

 

[RendHeaven]

4 hours ago, Raphael said:

This kind of rhetoric is so incredibly toxic

I strongly disagree. It sounds to me like you have a self-bias that was wounded by Leo's reasonable response, and so you're labeling it as "toxic" - as in "toxic for my wounded self-bias" but notice that what's toxic for you is not actually the same as what's toxic for everyone.

[Etherial Cat]

Tchooo!

Petit commentaire pour te laisser savoir que je suis admirative de ce que tu écris dans ton journal.

J'aurais tellement aimée être aussi mature et aware à ton age. Tu as de la chance!

 

[Raphael]

15 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

you have a self-bias that was wounded by Leo's reasonable response

Can you develop more?

15 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Tchooo!

Petit commentaire pour te laisser savoir que je suis admirative de ce que tu écris dans ton journal.

J'aurais tellement aimée être aussi mature et aware à ton age. Tu as de la chance!

Merci ?

C'est pas toujours très simple dans la vie quotidienne, mais je fait de mon mieux.

[Etherial Cat]

5 minutes ago, Raphael said:

Merci ?

C'est pas toujours très simple dans la vie quotidienne, mais je fait de mon mieux.

Si la vie était simple, on grandirait pas. 

Courage! Tu as tout ce qu'il faut pour t'en sortir.

[Raphael]

Life is about constructing yourself while deconstructing yourself.

[Raphael]

The High Conscious Partner

Here are what I consider to be the characteristics of a healthy partner. These characteristics can be used as a self-assessment checklist. They apply to both genders. A high-quality person will resonate with that and if the person is not there yet, he/she will do everything to get there.

• The high-conscious partner can sustain itself independently.
• The high-conscious partner is happy by itself and has a positive, proactive attitude towards life.
• The high-conscious partner takes responsibility for his/her life, is a life-long learner, and constantly self-improves.
• The high-conscious partner has a healthy integration of all Tier 1 stages.
• The high-conscious partner is as authentic as possible.
• The high-conscious partner has high awareness.
• The high-conscious partner can admit biases and mistakes and correct them.
• The high-conscious partner can take constructive feedback.
• The high-conscious partner can give constructive feedback.
• The high-conscious partner is a good listener.
• The high-conscious partner is genuine.
• The high-conscious is empathetic.
• The high-conscious partner is respectful of everyone and respects people's boundaries.
• The high-conscious partner communicates openly, honestly, and has a deep humility.
• The high-conscious partner has high emotional mastery and can deal with its emotions in a healthy way.
• The high-conscious partner can show its vulnerabilities and issues, share them, and discuss them.
• The high-conscious partner has high-integrity and do everything to maintain its integrity as high as possible.
• The high-conscious partner is flexible and can change quickly depending on the situation.
• The high-conscious partner has a healthy relationship with its body. He/She cares about its body, eat healthily and exercise without being obsessed by it.
• The high-conscious partner is comfortable and open with its sexuality.
• The high-conscious partner doesn't have any strong addiction that prevents him/her to function properly in life.
• The high-conscious partner doesn't have any strong biases against any group of people based on origin, ethnicity, gender, gender orientation, or similar things.

[Raphael]

I think that many people have high standards in relationships, however very few fit them. Also, how about me? How much do I fit? After all, I can just theorize forever while not fitting these standards in reality.

[Raphael]

Things That Annoy Me About Masculinity

Here are some elements that we usually associate with masculinity and that annoys me if they show too much:

• Over-assertiveness that is inappropriate to the situation.
• Over-confidence that is inappropriate to the situation.
• Over-controlling behaviors.
• Inappropriate use of the tough approach.
• Leadership through fear.
• Men competing for anything like dumbasses.
• Hiding of vulnerabilities.
• Not sharing emotions.
• Lack of consideration of others.

Edited August 6, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Things That Annoys Me About Femininity

Here are some elements that we usually associate with femininity and that annoys me if they show up too much:

• Damsel in distress syndrome.
• Inappropriate use of the compassionate approach.
• Too much talking.
• Too much complaining.
• Too much implicit communication. This one can really annoy me sometimes. I understand subtleties and implicit communication, however, if this happens too much and/or in an inappropriate context I just want to shout at the person to fucking say things directly. We cannot understand implicit communication all the time.
• Too much consideration of the opinions of others / people pleasing.
• Too much neediness for relationships.
• Not doing things because they are hard to do.
• Choosing what feels good instead of what works.

[Raphael]

Balance is the key.

[Raphael]

I have been backsliding pretty hard since the last month. My schedule is fucked up, my sleep is terrible, I'm irregular and disorganized, I'm mind is too agitated, I have difficulties getting things done. I think that I need at least 2 - 3 empty days just to self-reflect, empty my mind, and calm down a bit.

[Raphael]

I need to detox.

[Raphael]

Sometimes I Would Like To Be Dumb

I just have too many things in my mind, this is insane. Sometimes I would like to be dumb. Sometimes I envy these people who can just do their simple job without thinking that much about it, without complexifying things, without interconnecting everything and seeing the big picture. I'm just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking... all the fucking time. As soon as I wake up I start to think, when I go to bed I have trouble sleeping because I'm just thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking... When I cook, I think. When I talk with people, I think. When I take my shower, I think. When I work, I think. When I exercise, I think. When I walk, I think. Sometimes, I cannot even hear people talking because I think. Sometimes, my thoughts interrupt me when I'm doing something and I get into an involuntary pause.

I have thousands of things that I want to write about, thousands of things that I want to share about, yet this is so complicated because of how overactive my mind is. Thoughts triggers thoughts which trigger other thoughts which trigger other thoughts... My mind want to see the big picture despite me, even when this is inappropriate to the situation, even when this is counter-productive, even when it hurts my survival.

Sometimes I want to vomit my thoughts out.

Calm down mind, calm down. It's gonna be ok...