Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

Emotions

Emotions are so little talked about, even on this forum which is surprising. The stage Green emotional component is often lacking in this place and lacking in Leo's videos. Very few of his videos talk about emotions, yet we live with them all the time.

• What is sadness?
• What is anger?
• What is embarrassment?
• What is compassion?
• What is joy?
• What is fear?
• What is anxiety?
• What is contentment?
• What is excitement?
• What is peace?
• What is bliss?

What are all of these emotions? Why do they exist? What is their purpose? How do they work? Understanding all of this is very important for a fulfilling life.

[Raphael]

About Genders Perceptual Discrepancies: Physical Appearance

Nothing shows best the perceptual discrepancies on physical appearance between the two genders than these videos. The feminine always tries to find beauty in everything through small details and subtleties and has a lot of compassion for people who don't fit typical norms. The masculine on the other side is way more objectifying.

 

[Raphael]

I feel some stage Red impurities within me.

[Raphael]

My brain is shifting again. After feeling like a girl recently, I now start to feel like a ruthless man again.

Edited July 14, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Maybe I'll save the world one day if I don't get too lazy.

[Raphael]

The most annoying thing that I experienced in my entire life is dumb people trying to teach me some lessons.

[Raphael]

I got hated many times in the past for no apparent reason. I would sometimes sit quietly alone and be with my thoughts and people would hate me just for that.

I remember meeting my cousin's daughter one day... and she punched me. She was maybe 4 years old, she didn't know anything about me nor did I about her. When I was a kid (maybe 8 years old), I was walking in the school when two boys attacked me. One of them grabbed me from behind while the other was trying to grab my feet. I remember saying "BEAT HIM! BEAT HIM! BEAT HIM!"... for what reason? For walking? Really? I barely knew these kids, I barely even talked to them, yet they hated me and attacked me anyway. I remember being scared and screaming as loud as I could so that they let me go. They let me go in the end without actually beating me.

Experiences like this contributed to me being socially anxious. It contributed to me being very suspicious and skeptical of everyone, to not trusting anyone, to not taking anyone seriously, to be very careful with people, to me wanting to avoid people at all costs because people hate me just for existing.

[Raphael]

I feel some unconscious belief within me telling me that I can't succeed. Every time that I'm making good progress, this is coming back and dragging me down. I need to analyze that. I feel that this is related to my dad.

[Raphael]

22 hours ago, Raphael said:

I feel some unconscious belief within me telling me that I can't succeed. Every time that I'm making good progress, this is coming back and dragging me down. I need to analyze that. I feel that this is related to my dad.

I feel that the day where I will be able to talk to my dad and handle him will be the day where my personal development will skyrocket. Everything will skyrocket: confidence, assertiveness, responsibility, self-esteem, business, relationships, relationships with the opposite sex, etc. This is a very tough challenge for me, the most difficult challenge of my entire life, but if I overcome it, it will be as if I overcame the world. My dad is the thing that I am the most afraid of. Tier 2 thinking isn't hard, enlightenment isn't hard, but me being able to talk to him and handle him is the hardest thing that can possibly exist.

I noticed that I'm am way overdramatizing the situation. My dad is an old man now, so he cannot actually do anything to me and the older he gets, the more dependant he gets. The power dynamic is changing, he is losing his power where I'm getting into power. I noticed that I'm the only one in the family that cut him at 99%. My mom and my sister are capable to talk to him where I am not. Sure, they don't have very conscious conversations, but they still talk to him a bit. Maybe my attitude towards low conscious individuals — which is cutting them immediately — is the cause of this fear, this can be a healthy way to deal with low consciousness, but it can also prevent me to grow because I currently know nothing (except rage) from the man who created me. I have a huge emotional baggage against him, I think that I'm afraid of what would happen if I try to talk to him. I always had the feeling that I got it harder than my sister because my sister is a girl and therefore my dad would lash out more at me. I don't remember my dad talking down to my sister where it happened a lot to my mom and me.

My dad sees me as dumb and weak, he doesn't even know what he did to me, he is not conscious enough for that. He is the complete opposite of me, he is an ENTP or maybe ENTJ where I am an INTP. He is tall with a large and muscular body, extroverted, energetic, loud, confident, fast, hyper dominant. I am tall with a skinny body, introverted with low/average energy, intellectual, calm and slow, not hyper dominant.

Maybe the most growth that I can get in my life is not from seeking an external environment, but from overcoming the biggest challenge of my entire life? Maybe by integrating the ruthless man who raised me, by integrating Red. By confronting him like he confronted his own dad (who was an alcoholic who beaten him without mercy). The circle repeats itself, I just need to be careful to break the chain if I ever have a kid.

I think that this is feasible. I can use him for my personal growth. I can start small with just a few words, then open up more, then have some longer conversations... and finally handle him with Red, handle him with himself because he lives in me, because he raised me.

 

[Raphael]

Interesting thread. Also, many times we associate abusive relationships with intimate relationships where it is not necesserely the case. Abusive relationships can be anywhere: in families, with friends, in working environnements, etc. I personally experienced manipulations and pressure in work environnement and within my family.

 

[Raphael]

About Genders Perceptual Discrepancies: Difficulties of Men

• Very high expectations from society. It creates unnecessary pressure and backfires.
• Low emotional support.
• Weaknesses are badly perceived.
• Not being interested in sports or other physical activities is badly perceived.
• A man's value is based on results and men who aren't able to achieve results get low support and are shamed.
• A lot of competition to be seen as the best result maker which causes health issues.
• Much more chances to die at the workplace because many men have more dangerous jobs compared to women: being a police officer, being a firefighter, etc.
• Higher suicide rates.
• Lower life expectancies.
• Lack of services for male victims of domestic violence and rape.
• They are much more man in jail than women. Also, men spend more time in prison compared to women for the same crime.
• Dealing with enormous rejections from women.
• Approaching women can cause suspicions even when its genuine.

I'm sure that they are more issues, but I don't have the time to dive deep.

[Raphael]

About Genders Perceptual Discrepancies: Difficulties of Women

• The world is much less safe for women compared to men. Women have to deal with a lot of sexual harassment.
• Unrealistic beauty standards from society. Also if a woman is a woman of color, the mainstream western white beauty standards can cause a lot of self-esteem issues and some women may use skin-lightening products.
• Being only valued for physical appearance. If a woman is doing great in other areas of life, this is less acceptable.
• Oppression from the other sex.
• Lower salary even if a woman is doing the same job that a man does and generates the same results.
• More risks of sexual assaults compared to men.
• Having to deal with an unwanted child when abortion isn't possible.
• Pregnancy and giving birth to a child.
• Periods.
• Being attracted to men, but at the same time having to be very careful of men.
• Much more sex-shaming compared to men. Many times, it's not OK to be sexually open as a woman.
• Wanting a genuine relationship, but only finding guys who want nothing more than sex.
• Much more chances to be abused in relationships.

Again, I'm sure that they are more issues, but I don't have the time to do more research.

[Raphael]

Often time when I read about issues between men and women, I just see classic ideological battles. Men and women throwing their perspectives at each other without making that much effort to understand the difficulties of the other gender. Many times it looks worst than politics and it happens from the level of a simple relationship to the collective level.

One side cannot be well while the other side isn't well. Men and women are deeply interconnected and both genders have difficulties that affect their own gender and the other gender. Relationships are perhaps the best example of two paradoxical sides of the same coin trying to work together.

[Raphael]

thefemininewoman.com

This blog is an awesome dating resource for women. It can be used for women to help them find high-quality partners and for men to understand the female perspective and develop as a high-quality man who fits high-quality women's expectations.

https://www.thefemininewoman.com/

[Raphael]

This forum is in a horny phase. It's time to organize an actualized orgy.

[Raphael]

32 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

I've come to realize for myself that all perceived annoyance is projection.

 

6 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

The feeling of annoyance is legitimate as a sensation arising - the fact that it is happening at all gives it validity.

Just be careful to notice the active role you yourself play in maintaining this feeling/sensation.

The mistake is to pretend that you have nothing to do with it - to ascribe the sensation to an "external world."

In fact, you had everything to do with it. It's fully within your power to literally erase all trace of annoyance instantaneously.

Counter-intuitively, you erase it through acceptance - embracing that it is happening, and respecting its validity.

The more you deny it or spin circles in your mind about it, the more fuel you add to the fire, and the more the monster rages and the more you start thinking that the external world must be encroaching on you.

Awesome advices @RendHeaven

[Raphael]

My brain is shifting between masculinity and femininity when I read threads like this. The boy inside me agree with other boys and the girl inside me agree with other girls, but how do I balance things out? This is really tricky sometimes for me.

 

[Raphael]

I noticed that when I'm becoming 50/50 balanced between masculinity and femininity I feel like my brain is going to have an existential crisis.

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, Raphael said:

My brain is shifting between masculinity and femininity when I read threads like this. The boy inside me agree with other boys and the girl inside me agree with other girls, but how do I balance things out? This is really tricky sometimes for me.

 

Yes, well said.

I found myself more or less defending the "male side" simply because I've been repressing the desire to correct the mischaracterizations coming from the "female side" for a while, and that sort of just exploded. Pure pickup literally just addresses the needs of men in a very innocent manner. Ego corruptions turn pickup into a toxic culture. The difference is night and day to me, but to someone who's looking at it from the outside they just see the corruption - in the same way that a lot of people will just say "fuck government" these days without realizing that pure government at the core literally just addresses the needs of the population in a very innocent manner. Government isn't the problem, corrupt egos are. Likewise, pickup isn't the problem, corrupt egos are.

But I'm not blind at all to the fact that the "male side" mischaracterizes the "female side" even more. When I attempt to clear the name of pickup, I sincerely hope that I'm not misunderstanding women more and more.

[Raphael]

INTP in Relationships

Some points of the MBTI concerning INTPs and relationships really resonates with me. However, the fact that INTPs are considered to be unemotional robots resonates less than it used to. I made a lot of progress in the past five years regarding my emotions and feel much more open than before in this area.

Most compatible types: INTP, INTJ, INFP, ENTP, ISTP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFP.

Quote

As Introverts, Logicians appreciate alone time, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t crave companionship. For people with this personality type, the ideal romantic partner isn’t just someone to pass the time with but an equal who can challenge their ideas. Logicians want to spend their life in pursuit of learning and growth. They hope that the person they love will not just share this mission but also actively encourage it.

 

Quote

Finding a relationship that meets these standards isn’t always easy for these personalities. Logicians may drag their feet when it comes to going out into the world and meeting new people. And even when they do have an interest in someone, it can take them a while to work up the will to risk rejection and ask that person out. Being the center of attention in an emotionally delicate situation isn’t easy for anyone, but especially not for Logicians.

 

Quote

From the start, Logicians take their relationships seriously. When they finally meet a partner they connect with on a real level – someone whose mind they respect and whose company they enjoy – these personalities know better than to take it for granted.

Even early in the dating phase, Logicians are unusually direct and honest. They don’t see the point of playing games, and while they can be quiet, they aren’t coy. People with this personality type rarely filter their opinions, and they encourage their partners to be frank with them as well. For many Logicians, being up front isn’t a sign of rudeness or bad manners – instead, it’s a point of pride, not to mention a way to avoid misunderstandings.

As their relationships progress, Logicians’ daily needs prove simple. Gifts, surprises, complex social plans, and elaborate date nights are all fairly unimportant to them. Unfortunately, even if their partner does want these things, it may not even occur to Logicians to plan them out.

These personalities may need to put special effort and attention into learning how to express their affection in a way that resonates with their significant other. Otherwise, their partner may feel ignored, underappreciated, or even unloved. On the plus side, Logicians can turn this situation into an opportunity to put their trademark ingenuity to good use.

https://www.16personalities.com/intp-relationships-dating

Quote

INTPs are independent and clever partners. They enjoy engaging intellectually and want an intelligent partner who can match their ability to think critically.

INTPs have little appetite for the mundane aspects of life, and may disregard the usual rituals of a relationship. They are rarely interested in tradition, preferring instead to design a lifestyle that makes sense for the parties involved—even if it looks highly unconventional to other people. They are tolerant of individual preferences but will rarely do something because they are told they "should."

INTPs tend to analyze the theory behind everything, and may interpret human interactions with the detached logic of a psychological researcher. They may find others difficult to deal with when they cannot understand the logic behind their behavior. When things get too emotional, they may retreat to their own world of thoughts and ideas.

INTPs want plenty of space in a relationship to explore their own thoughts, ideas, and interests. They value a partner that appreciates their ingenuity and problem-solving ability, and one that understands their need for autonomy.

https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTP/relationships