Going through the spiral

[Roy]

Interesting. Did you grow up there?

Yea that is very small I don't know how I'd feel about that lol. I am introverted too but I'm used to being spoiled with privacy and space living in a massive country (Canada). I grew up in Northern Ontario, although now I live on Vancouver Island which is still quite large compared to Mauritius. Back in Ontario where I lived it took multiple hours to get anywhere bigger than smaller towns. Toronto was 4 hours away for example.

I can imagine Covid slowed life down there. Also the limited opportunities. For you personally, is it more of a place to enjoy for a few years, or a relaxing place to retire? Rather than spending most of your working life there?

That surprises me when you say that it's dirty. I was kind of under the impression smaller places like that where space is precious and people see each other a lot it would be quite unacceptable to litter or be rude. That they would have more strict laws in place like Singapore. Not to mention it's an island so not much space for waste landfills.

Here is Canada although the wilderness is beautiful and pristine in most parts, there are a lot of dirtier medium sized cities. A lot of them are quite grey and ugly and people treat them poorly.

[Raphael]

@Roy

I grew up here and lived here most of my life.

The opportunities are definitely very limited, many people don't move that much and keep the same job their entire life. It's a nice place to enjoy for a few years and also a relaxing place to retire, in fact many old people mostly from Europe come here to retire. I personally think that it's a good idea to move out a bit and explore the world as we can become very rigid by staying at the same place. Chances are that I'll move out one day, but I need a system to properly handle my family situation.

The mindset is not there regarding the environment. Many people simply don't care, some of them are even capable to throw their trash aside of empty bins. Space is previous, nature is precious, but people aren't that much aware of it.

What's a medium size city in Canada ? 500 000 - 1M inhabitants ? The biggest city here only have 150 000 inhabitants lol.

[Roy]

Medium here is considered 100 to 200K.

That's a shame people don't care. Places like that are a paradise. Hopefully it gets better.

[Raphael]

@Roy I hope.

[Raphael]

Fear of Success

I noticed that I'm afraid of success which is ironically what I have been working on since the last 3 years. I know that with the competencies that I have I can easily become successful, but this fear is holding me back. I need to let it go.

It's OK to become rich and successful. It's OK to be richer than most people. It's OK and it's also a necessity for my self-actualization journey.

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Environmental Influence & Spiral Development

A few years ago I used to think that everyone was equal, then I discovered Spiral Dynamics and everything started to make sense. People are not equal. They not only have different skills, but they also are not all equally cognitively developed.

Western societies are more developed. Most of the countries that have the highest Human Development Index are White majority countries and most of the countries that have the least corruption are also White majority countries. It doesn't mean that they are perfect, some elements actually look pretty bad compared to other cultures, I'm thinking here of: western medicine (antiquated compared to eastern medicine), mainstream western food, spirituality, the fast-paced lifestyle, and the obsession with success and productivity. However, overall they work better and people have more freedom and security. I personally clearly saw the difference when I moved to Europe in the past, everything just worked better. While there, I noticed that people often complained about small things... well... they don't understand how lucky they are and sometimes how ridiculous are the things that they are complaining about.

Spiral Dynamics can be dangerous, some people who aren't highly developed can use it to stereotype some specific groups. It's especially dangerous with a racist person who has a lot of influence as a person like this can widespread a message than say that this message is justified by science.

The mistake that a racist makes is to attribute some behaviors to genetics rather than looking at environmental circumstances... I think that we have seen enough remarkable people from any background to this point to invalidate the genetic theory.

The ability for a person or a group of people to develop properly is dependent on their environment: if a country gets bombed, it's very difficult for people to develop; if a storm destroys a village, it's very difficult for people to develop; if the climate is either too cold or too hot, it's very difficult for people to develop; if it's difficult to get water, it's very difficult for people to develop; if they are dangerous animals, it's very difficult for people to develop; etc. Just the kind of food that we eat has an influence on how our brains and bodies function, poor people cannot always eat healthy and therefore get trapped in a strange loop that causes health problems... Some people are just more lucky than others when it comes to the environment. Those who are born in a difficult environment can get trapped in a strange loop for centuries, and even the ones who have natural talents stay limited by their environment.

 

Edited April 21, 2021 by Raphael
Added Wikipedia links

[Raphael]

On 4/19/2021 at 5:45 PM, Raphael said:

Exploring Racial Biases: Universal Dynamics and Individual Experiences

When it comes to racism, the structure is always the same, but the intensity and content (the people) changes.

Examples:

• In the US: there is oppression from white people against other groups, in particular of people of color. However, changes happened since Covid as Asian-Americans are getting more threats
• In China: the Uyghurs minority is oppressed from many Chinese
• In Myanmar: Rohingya are extremely oppressed from the majority
• In South Africa: the dynamic has evolved since the past 20 years to the point where a certain number of white people are now oppressed by the black majority
• During Nazi Germany: Jews were oppressed from many Germans
• Etc.

The intensity can be slight (a few jokes) to very aggressive (internment camp).

The formation of a racial bias is dependent on the environment that someone lives in. If someone has biases towards a specific group, it's simply because his individual experience got shaped by his environment. A person either absorbs the racism from its culture or gets disappointed from some experiences which results in racists biases.

Universal dynamics create individual experiences. For someone to let go of anger related to racial issues, this person needs to acknowledge the universal dynamics behind, analyze how things work, understand that the base is groundless, and detach from it.

It always seems like this is personal, but this not the case. Racism is just a dirty universal dynamic of life.

 

22 hours ago, Raphael said:

Exploring Racial Biases: Environmental Influence & Spiral Development

A few years ago I used to think that everyone was equal, then I discovered Spiral Dynamics and everything started to make sense. People are not equal. They not only have different skills, but they also are not all equally cognitively developed.

Western societies are more developed. Most of the countries that have the highest Human Development Index are White majority countries and most of the countries that have the least corruption are also White majority countries. It doesn't mean that they are perfect, some elements actually look pretty bad compared to other cultures, I'm thinking here of: western medicine (antiquated compared to eastern medicine), mainstream western food, spirituality, the fast-paced lifestyle, and the obsession with success and productivity. However, overall they work better and people have more freedom and security. I personally clearly saw the difference when I moved to Europe in the past, everything just worked better. While there, I noticed that people often complained about small things... well... they don't understand how lucky they are and sometimes how ridiculous are the things that they are complaining about.

Spiral Dynamics can be dangerous, some people who aren't highly developed can use it to stereotype some specific groups. It's especially dangerous with a racist person who has a lot of influence as a person like this can widespread a message than say that this message is justified by science.

The mistake that a racist makes is to attribute some behaviors to genetics rather than looking at environmental circumstances... I think that we have seen enough remarkable people from any background to this point to invalidate the genetic theory.

The ability for a person or a group of people to develop properly is dependent on their environment: if a country gets bombed, it's very difficult for people to develop; if a storm destroys a village, it's very difficult for people to develop; if the climate is either too cold or too hot, it's very difficult for people to develop; if it's difficult to get water, it's very difficult for people to develop; if they are dangerous animals, it's very difficult for people to develop; etc. Just the kind of food that we eat has an influence on how our brains and bodies function, poor people cannot always eat healthy and therefore get trapped in a strange loop that causes health problems... Some people are just more lucky than others when it comes to the environment. Those who are born in a difficult environment can get trapped in a strange loop for centuries, and even the ones who have natural talents stay limited by their environment.

 

That's the thing about my situation, white people are a privileged minority where I live so they developed mostly at stage orange/low green where the rest of the population is mostly at stage blue. Therefore my experience with them has overall been much better than with other groups or with my family. I never got threatened by a white person, no white person ever threw rocks at my dogs or tried to beat them where it happened a lot with people of color. However, I'm conscious that my experience is partial and I guess that it would have been different if I lived most of my life in a white majority country. I got a few questions and some subtle racism while living in Europe, my sister also told me one day that she got insulted by a man while she was standing in the street, the man said full of hate: "BITCH!". I can imagine how difficult it can be to be a person of color living in a white majority country and getting hate and threats just for existing as a human being.

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Biases Vs. Real Social Problems

People who have a huge cultural identity often feel threatened by this. Sometimes a critic of a culture isn't racism, but the acknowledgment of a real social problem. Examples:

• Obesity in the United-States
• The condition of women in Indian
• Racism in China
• etc.

All of these are real social problems that need to be addressed. I think that all cultures need conscious criticism and deconstruction, and the actualized.org forum is the perfect place to have these discussions.

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Noticing Races & Racism of Dad

I always saw my dad obsessed with people's ethnicity. For any person, he asks: "What kind of person is this? Black? White? Indian?". When watching the TV, he always looks at people faces and says things like: "That's a black", "That's a Chinese", "That's a Madras", "That a white", "That's a fucking [INSERT ETHNICITY]", "That's a [INSERT ETHNICITY] shitass", "[INSERT ETHNICITY] is a shitty race", "All these people are [INSERT EXTREMELY VIOLENT INSULT]". He is obsessed with people's ethnicity, he often says extremely racist things about almost everybody. This is worst than racism to this point, this is hate of anybody, one day he said that we need to kill all homosexuals and that we also need to beat women.

I'm sick of this nonsense.

I never cared about people's background most of my life, however, I saw myself noticing a bit more ethnicities in recent years and just thinking: "Oh, that's a ...". I might have absorbed a few tiny bits from my dad here.

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: This ... Person

Have you ever said something like this:

• This black guy
• This black girl
• This white guy
• This white girl
• This arab guy
• This arab girl
• This Brazilian guy
• This Brazilian girl
• This ... guy
• This ... girl

Why did you do it?

If you ever said something similar, that's a sign that you need to inspect your biases. Have you absorbed that from your environment? Did you felt oppressed by some people? Did some people hurt you and you ended up stereotyping? Was it justified or not? Do you have some resentment against some group?

In all cases, whether it was small, subtle, or intense, you have some shadow work to do.

[Raphael]

How Can Some People Work 10+ Hours / Day?

We all know these stories about people working 10, 12, 14, 16 hours per day for weeks or months. I personally don't understand how something like this is humanly possible. What is the mindset behind this? How are these people able to work that much without exploding?

Most of the work that I do is programming which is incredibly cognitively demanding. After 25 - 30 hours, I already feel tired. I pushed it sometimes in the past, however after 40 hours, it becomes too much for me.

 

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Collective White Shadow & Collective POC Trauma

There is a global collective shadow within white people and many of them aren't aware of it. This shadow shows as sarcasm, jokes, and subtle assumptions. It is more difficult to see than direct insults or criticism. Of course, being too serious in life isn't healthy and it's important to have fun and some of these jokes aren't always serious and don't necessarily mean something implicit. However, it becomes a problem if it's a common behavior as it creates internalized racists shadows without people being conscious of it. It's basically a self-fulfilling circle, but they don't think of it as racism because it doesn't hurt anybody (from their perspective) and it's fun. I noticed that many white people who have friends from other backgrounds do this without being aware of the traumatic baggage behind it. My sister told me a story, she was with a white friend and it was time to move, her friend told her: "Come on slave!". She was shocked by this and I was also astonished when she told me this story. Her friend wasn't aware of the global trauma within people of color and she just thought she was making a joke. After that, her friend felt really bad for saying such a thing and then apologized. I think that this kind of situation can often happen with young white people, they just don't understand what they are doing and don't understand that they absorbed some racism from previous generations.

There is a global collective trauma within people of color. Even if slavery has been abolished (but other forms of racism continue), the trauma of being oppressed is still there with many people of color. I noticed that sometimes, I saw moments where a white person would start to speak to a person of color and this person of color would start to get nervous even if the white person wasn't doing anything nor say anything offensive. I also think that many people of color have an internalized sense of inferiority because we hear so much about the west and how developed it is. I saw people of color being kinder and treating white people better than people of their own background. I have a sense that some of them feel the sense to submit, or obey, especially when I was working in an offshore company. The communications were very simple, they were afraid of speaking and often times just responding affirmatively "Ok. Ok...". I mentioned in the previous paragraph that many white people aren't conscious of the racist connotation of some of their jokes. However, I saw cases where a white person would say a joke that I didn't consider racist at all that would petrify a person of color. A case happened in my country where a white person was doing a humourous speech and made fun of the Indian accent, most people didn't saw anything racist in that (white, Indians, and others included), however, some were scandalized. After that, the guy had to explain himself to the authorities and he even made a video saying that he was sorry and that he didn't know that some jokes could hurt that much. I personally didn't saw this as racist, but I also never thought in my entire life of making fun of someone's accent and have difficulties understanding why someone would do that. My perspective is probably a bit messed up here, I think I lack understanding on collective shadows, traumas, and lack understanding on how humor works.

In the end, I see multiple perspectives:

• A behavior will be considered as racist for the person who feels that its racist
• A behavior will be considered as non racist for the person who feels that its not racist
• On the evolutionary scale, some behaviors are just better than others for the global happiness of the specie. Implicit jokes don't help evolution towards a greater good but maintain homeostasis and shadows. Discussions need to happen within people to tackle racism and create peace
• The human specie is a meta organism, and this meta organism isn't aware yet and doesn't always know what is racist or not and what to do so that it can feel better and be healthier. It still doesn't know how to regulate itself in a healthy way

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Understanding Differences of Development

Sometimes I think about why are some areas of the world more developed than others and try to understand the causes.

Here is the ultimate answer: They are no ultimate answer to these questions. This is how it is. Trying to understand that keeps us stuck in the mind and entertain difficult emotions. And this answer is the ultimate answer.

Here's how an argumentation would go:

• Why is this place so under developed?
• Because people don't have that many resources.
• Why people don't have that many resources?
• Because they have been exploited by other people in the past and these people looted all the resources.
• How is it that these people looted all the resources?
• Because they were evil and violent, and because the people here didn't have any possibility to fight back.
• Why they didn't have any possibility to fight back?
• Because they didn't have the same technology.
• Why they didn't have the same technology?
• Because the natural environment was already less favorable and they have to deal with common natural disasters.
• Why do they have to deal with common natural disasters?
• Because this is an area where the winds can be very strong multiple times per year.
• Why the winds can be very strong?
• Why the earth do that at this specific place?
• Why the earth is formed as it is?
• What is the impact of the sun on this area?
• Why is the solar system that way?
• Why is our galaxy that way?
• Why is the universe that way?
• ...and it goes on and on for infinity.

See?

At a moment it becomes useless to try to understand and it only keeps us stuck in the mind. Being in this circle continues to entertain difficult thoughts and emotions.

To start to fix these issues, understanding needs to be scaled down to not get lost in the mind and enough scaled up to have a proper meta-perspective. Reality is how it is, it doesn't mean that it always has to be the same way. With efforts, system thinking, and holistic thinking it's possible to improve the global situation, but people need to let go of their biases, develop compassion, and acknowledge that these issues aren't personal. This is just life being itself, playing with itself, suffering by itself, and trying to make itself better through trial and error.

[Raphael]

I think I lost hope with people, I don't expect that much from them anymore. Most people only have short term vision and always try to drag the few conscious ones into stupidity. Of course, none of us are perfect... but what always baffles me is that very few people actually try to improve and just stay stuck projecting beliefs and biases.

And even if they try to improve, I never met anyone who was willing to question its entire existence and tackle down all its biases and beliefs. I can't really expect this as most people don't even have developed an healthy ego... including me... but of course they are degrees to this. I noticed that I lack some elements at all survival oriented stages: beige, purple, red, blue, orange, and green, but at the same time I consider that I do better than average. So... I'm better than average, but not the best and i still have many things to improve... and this fine I'm where I am, and the healthy attitude is to embrace it and continue the work.

[Raphael]

Holistic Work Ethic

Work ethic is holistic. I have been dealing with a lot of difficult thoughts in the past that affected my ability to focus until things started to get better recently.

I did some forgiveness to release past traumas and started to have less and less difficult thoughts. A few days ago I started to eat less, I notably reduced my quantity of rice and I noticed that it reduced the monkey mind a lot. I intuitively felt that there was a connection between digestion and thoughts. When I eat a lot my intestines works a lot and it results in thoughts storms, when I eat less my intestines works less, I feel lighter, my mind feels much more clearer and my ability to focus is better. I also feel less and less the need to cope by using social media, reading the news, or watching porn, and it feels great.

The attitude of pushing through it even if it's difficult is unhealthy stage orange. It works when someone is healthy: eat healthy, exercise properly, don't have any huge traumatic baggage. The people who aren't highly healthy and who are able to do that have incredible willpower and even if they have incredible willpower, their work is most of the time not the best quality work.

Being healthy and having a powerful system is simpler and more rewarding than pushing through it like an animal.

[Raphael]

Independence

I lived alone by myself from the end of 2015 to the end of 2019. At the end of 2019, I started freelancing to get financially independent. I decided to move back to my parent's house because having a full-time job and doing more web development aside was too much for me. However, the previous work experiences that I had crushed down my self-esteem very badly to the point where it lead to panic attacks and me feeling like a slave to people's desire because otherwise I would get highly being diminished. Because of these self-esteem issues freelancing has been hell and I got exploited and abused by clients. My situation started to get better during the end of 2020 at the same time where my self-esteem started to go up again.

However, even if my situation is better and I made good money recently, I'm still living with my parents and I'm really started to get sick of it. I don't like being treated like a 10 years kid who doesn't know anything in life. I want my independence back.

My mental health is getting better and better and I think that I will be able to clear all the work-related traumas soon so that work doesn't feel painful anymore, but blissful as it was for me some years ago. Nevertheless, freelancing as I do is uncertain in the long term, I work on small projects and clients come and go randomly. This is what happened this month. What I need is to find a stable client with which I can work for at least the next 6 months for max 10 hours/week and who pays well. Therefore I will feel more secure and will not have to worry about clients disappearing, nor will I have to spend time searching for clients each month. It will allow me to rent a small isolated office in my area where I would be able to work without having to deal with the toxicity at the house and all the noises all day, however, I will still sleep here and give a bit of help because my parents are old and need a bit of help notably with the animals. The time that I will get will also allow me to work on my main project.

I have been procrastinating too much, it's time to launch this business. The purpose of this business will be my own survival, it will not be the most conscious business, nor the lowest conscious, but will be an important piece of my financial infrastructure and a stepping stone towards advanced self-actualization. I don't want to be like my dad and have a random job where clients come and disappear randomly and I certainly don't want to constantly live in the fear of not having money. I often hear people saying that I'm young and that I have time... this advice doesn't work well for me and the opposite doesn't work well too because it stresses me out. My time as a human being is limited and needs to be used wisely, I don't want to live most of my life with the fear of not having money. I want to build my financial infrastructure as fast as possible. But, I need to build a proper system, I need to care about myself, I need to be kind with myself, I need to love myself, I need to be healthy, and when doing the things that I need to do, I need to go at my own pace and take time to do things properly in order to avoid making mistakes that would backfire. Time is a duality, it doesn't exist and it exists and the same time. Taking time to do things properly and having a limited lifetime are two sides to the same coin. It just needs to be balanced.

I will be a millionaire within the next 5 years.

[Raphael]

The example that I had in my family was so bad that it motivated me to do the complete opposite.

[Raphael]

Damn... I've always been blown away by how many similarities I have with Leo. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one speaking at the camera. I especially resonated with him when he mentioned his difficulties to fit in because of his different cultural baggage and the difficulties that his family had with money.

 

[Raphael]

How to Increase Brain Power?

Hey there,

I'm trying to improve my brain power. I recently started to eat a bit less, I notably reduced my quantity of rice and I noticed that it cleared my mind a lot. I also did some work to release past traumas and it reduced many of my negative thoughts.

I would just like to know if you guys have advices to improve my mind and my ability to focus and have clear thoughts. I'm not only looking for healthy food but anything that has an impact on the mind: food, traumas, kind of physical activity, the external environment, etc. I personally currently eat mostly healthy, exercise a bit every day, and try to sleep well (when my mind isn't too crazy).

By the way here is how I'm planning to eat for the next month:

• Breakfast: a smoothie consisting of half an avocado, blueberries, and a date. I will also add some oats
• 10:00 AM Break: a small mix of fruits (apple and oranges) with some almonds and cashew nuts
• Lunch: average portion of rice + Eggs or Fish + 2 vegetables + Kiwi
• 04:00 PM Break: : a small mix of fruits (apple and oranges) with some almonds and cashew nuts
• Dinner: a small portion of rice + Some Grains (peas, chickpeas, lentils) + 2 vegetables + black chocolate

Cheers.

 

[Raphael]

Exploring Racial Biases: Racism as an Evolutionary Feature

Racism is an evolutionary feature. The most powerful societies have always been the one who were the most exploitative and for a collective ego it's always better to exploit another one than itself.

Does it have to be forever that way? I personally think that there will always be discrimination and a social hierarchy, however, this social hierarchy will be less and less important in the future. In a utopian future where machines will do the most painful tasks, the need for human exploitation will be less important. Nevertheless, societies will still have to work and some people will have to maintain the infrastructure not maintainable by the machines and some people will have to maintain the machines.

Some people have to do the dirty work and these people will be at the bottom of the hierarchy. In an utopian future, I don't consider that it would mean brute racism, but just some discrimination. People like this would just have fewer opportunities for self-actualization work, philosophy, spirituality, etc. Or maybe if it happens people will rotate: some people will do the dirty work while others self-actualize, then the groups will switch in order to maintain society and allow everyone time for self-actualization. Who knows exactly how the future will be made?